The Confessions of the Overworked, Underpaid Peen
by smmiskimen
Summary: You've heard of Edward's pov, but what about Edward's peen's pov? Get inside the peen's perspective and see what goes on inside the pants. If you've ever thought it was hard being a person, try living this life. AH, AU, M, E&B eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Everyone! Thanks to you all who voted in the PostSecret Prompt Contest. I had two entries in it (anonymously) and this is one of them. This story didn't win but the other that I'm posting, They Think I'm Dead, did win 3rd place! SQUEE! I hope you all like this and I might continue it at a later date, but I have so many other projects that I've already committed to so I can't promise it right now. **

**Thanks go to preciousfairymom80 who laughed her ass off at my idea for this, The COUP, and helped me nurture the idea .?docid=21067406when I had it one morning at like 4am.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or PostSecret**

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•Title : The Confessions of the Overworked and Underpaid Peen (The Coup)

•PostSecret Used: My downstairs neighbor and I have screaming matches to see who's the loudest during sex, I usually win.

•Summary: Edward is a whore and rising pornstar who abuses his peen on a daily basis, demanding performance and the utmost behavior from it. Well, now it's time for the tale to be told.

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The Confessions of the Overworked and Underpaid Peen

Edward's Peen POV (yes you read that right)

It's hard being a dick. Seriously, no pun intended. I'm expected to stand at attention on command, not stand at attention when the situation doesn't warrant it, keep myself up for as long as needed, and not become a bulimic before it's asked of me. As I said, it's hard being a dick!

My host, Edward Cullen, was an aspiring whore and pornstar who overworked me, definitely underpaying me after some of the caverns he had me go spelunking in. These were scary places, full of deep, dark crevasses that no man or peen should ever plunder. I wanted to ask for fifty yards of rope, a helmet with a little lamp, and a gun to fight off any predators. But before I could, Edward would practically suffocate me in latex and shove me in, not even asking if I wanted to work at that moment. I swore to myself that if anything bit or attacked me in here, I was going on strike, refusing to rise for the occasion for at least a week. Take that motherfucker.

I knew to never act up at work, which could seriously fuck up our job. But, he sometimes brought the work home with him and I felt the beginnings of a picket line to protest the work for no pay. When work was brought home, I was expected to act gentlemanly, rising when she did and staying up until she came.

Now, I wasn't small by any means, and I could normally feel quite snug, cuddled inside in the warm, wet canal. But some of these chicks that Edward explored could give a lunar crater a run for size. Did they _not know_? Did they think that a two-by-four wasn't needed to keep the guy on the outside? Damn!

I did get my fair pick of the puss though, pretty much getting anything I saluted. If I stood up and took notice, he brought them home. That made for the beginning of a very interesting story.

The hot piece of puss downstairs had my name written all over her, or that's how I wanted it. But she wouldn't give Edward the time of day. I heard mentions of whore, slut, asshat, and a few other names muttered as we passed in the lobby or stairs. Well, mission 'Make the Puss Purr' started. I wanted those big brown eyes looking at me, those soft and full lips kissing my head, and those long mahogany locks grazing my little brothers as her mouth was wrapped around me.

I was going to fuck the next puss so good that the kitty downstairs would certainly hear the screaming. I wanted her to want to be the one screaming for me. I would make it happen somehow.

I began to stand at attention, saluting any piece of ass that looked semi tantalizing. Edward would woo them, make them laugh and giggle, then they would smile and head home with him, eager for me to make my appearance. And appear I did! I got a few ooh's, some aah's, and quite a few mmm's from mouths that were closed around me.

Some of these mouths made me want to pack some Altoids or something in the condom box so he could give them a hint. Halitosis anyone? But, the best was always yet to come. Some would do an impromptu strip tease, others would just jump to the goods, but they all ended up the same way, naked and being invaded by me.

After a few repeat nights of action, different girls every night, and screams echoing through the walls, ceiling, and floors; the combative screams began to float up through the floorboards. My little puss downstairs wanted this to be a contest? Well, a contest it shall be!

I had my little twitch tricks I could use to make a chick's toes curl in delight, eliciting noises from her unknown to man, woman, or bitch in heat. All I had to do was...

"OH FUCK ME GOD DAMN!" came from this one's mouth.

Oh yeah! I still had the twitch. The next move was something like…

"OH HOLY HELL! THAT'S NOT NATURAL BUT OH SO GOOOOOOD!" was screamed out.

"Yeah, fucking hot, tight, yeah baby," Edward said, one of his trademark lines of mindless filler dirty talk. He needed a real challenging puss to bring out the real dirty talk. I hoped that 'Make the Puss Purr' would grant us that challenge. She sure did look like one to me.

The grunting was coming from above me, there was loud screaming coming from below the floorboards, and I was getting ready to vomit my entire intestinal contents all over myself, restricted by this damn wetsuit. Time for the curtain call.

I twitched one more time, bending slightly upwards as I did so and…

"OH GOD! FUCKSHITGODDAMNMOTHERFUCKER SO FUCKING GOOD!" was all that fell from her top lips as I stuffed her bottom ones, making her scream out just as Edward moaned and I spewed on myself.

The screams from downstairs continued for just a moment longer but they didn't sound as committed as before. Then, they died off altogether. Win number one for me!

The nightly screaming matches ensued, the screaming from my conquests drowning out the screams from below. I waited silently, slowly getting tired and limp, for Edward to remove from my restrictive cover and clean me the fuck off. I didn't have to wait long as he sprinted to the bathroom.

Right before he closed the door he yelled out to the chick, "thanks Jessica but I've got a really early morning so I'm going to take a shower and hit the sack. I'll call you later this week." Damn cold brush-off but it was par for him.

Finally, I got the me and him time I enjoyed. This may sound gay, but it's not. He's my host, I have to love him. And the way he took care in washing me, running the suds all over me, ensuring that I was totally spotless, was just heaven.

After our shower, he gave my little brothers and me a haircut, keeping it nice and short like a putting green. He was meticulous with this shit, but the ladies loved the groomed lawn. Work enjoyed it too!

We really didn't have to work in the morning, but he wanted that chick, Jessica, out of the house. She hadn't been spectacular in the sack. In fact, she could have possibly made the worst ten list for me. Well, no, not that bad.

After finishing the grooming of me, Edward went to bed where I got to rest against his thigh, totally bare, feeling the satin sheets graze across me as he moved. It was fucking wonderful.

*~*The COUP*~*

Two weeks later found me hopping to attention, saluting the new employee at the café around the corner. I was all happy for her, bouncing with joy in anticipation of tonight as Edward got her number. Her name was Tanya and her strawberry blonde locks were one of my weaknesses. But, nothing like the mahogany ones downstairs. That thought made me start to sit down and I heard Edward growl at me.

Later that night, Tanya arrived looking sluttastic. She was in a tiny red dress that barely covered her ass. Damn that was a delicious looking ass…made me want to dive right in the poop chute and go to town. Maybe later?

The almost nightly screaming contests between the downstairs piece of puss and me had escalated when she had actually won one. I had to step up my game tonight, to make this Tanya really scream. Why wait too? I jumped up and started bouncing in anticipation of winning tonight.

Edward took the cues, as did Tanya, and we all soon tumbled into the bed, moans resonating throughout the apartment. After about ten minutes, the screams and moans from downstairs started up too. If I didn't know any better I'd say she had been listening to us. That shit turned me on!

I jumped for joy making Tanya scream out. Oh, so she liked it like that, huh? Well, let's see how she liked this… I did my little twitch parade, taking her through octaves I hadn't heard in a while. Each octave was met with another one from below, in a better tone too. Damn, hot, sexy, and can sing apparently? I got harder than ever!

I put the new twitch into my pump, spurred on by her screams down below, and made Tanya really get going, making her sound like the chimp house on crack. I swear to fuck if Edward brought this one home again I was quitting. Her noises made me want to go soft, but hearing Hot Puss's sounds from below kept me hard and going strong, like an Energizer Bunny!

I felt my stomach contents begin to rise up my neck. I hoped Edward was ready because the moans of Hot Puss were not going to allow me to hold back.

I bounced inside of Tanya a few more times, making her scream out something about her mother feeling it and I was glad that I was throwing up then, because that comment made me start to go soft, like instantly.

I was left stuffed inside my casing like a summer sausage, and waited for him to dispel the tramp so I could get my nightly bath. It was one thing I definitely looked forward to after the workouts he put me through. But, I didn't get my spa treatment. That shit pissed me off!

Instead, I had apparently delayed dinner so Edward cooped me up inside of a pair of boxers after doing a quick clean of me. He missed some though and I was going to get his ass for that later by sticking to his leg. Take that man whore!

Edward finished dressing and we, Tanya, him, and I headed downstairs to go grab a bite. On the way down the stairs we had to pass Hot Puss's door. I was shocked to hear some moans coming from inside. I jumped at their sound as they were so much different than her other noises, more sensual and real sounding. I was begging Edward to ditch this twat I had just filled and go beat down Hot Puss's door but he continued down the stairs.

We made it down to the lobby and he was fiddling with his phone. Suddenly it made the ringing sound and Edward answered it. After a few minutes of fake conversation he told Tanya that something had come up and he would have to take a rain check.

I did a happy dance in his pants as he kissed her then sprinted back up the stairs, the moans still coming out of Hot Puss's door as we passed it. He actually paused there for a moment, listening in, before scaling the rest of the stairs and stripping suddenly.

I was surprised when Edward ended up laying on the floor, pressing his ear into the wood, listening in to the sensual sounds emanating from Hot Puss's mouth. His hand reached down to grip me, giving me some of his love without the normal barrier between the flesh.

I about died when I heard Hot Puss moan, fucking moan, Edward's name. OH HOLY FUCK SHIT! That had to be the sexiest sound in the world. Hot Puss was moaning my host's fucking name. I began to twitch uncontrollably as Edward increased the friction of his strokes.

Right as I purged all over his hand I realized something, something that was going to be so much fucking fun…Hot Puss wanted me and I was going to make damn sure I made that desire a reality.

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**Really hoped you enjoyed! And, as I said above, I might continue it later. Let me know if you would like to see it expanded.**

**EDIT: I WILL BE CONTINUING THIS STORY! I CAN'T SAY WHEN THOUGH. What I will probably do is just write a chapter as I can, not posting regularly. Thanks for all the love already.  
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	2. Hi Ho, It's Off to Work I Go

**Here is chapter 2 of The COUP! I want everyone to know that I can't guarantee updating regularly, but the inspiration struck for this chapter and here it is. This chapter is dedicated to StephanieS74 over at Twitter and The Cold Shower, bb, this one's for you!**

**I have to say that this isn't beta'd. My beta is at the hospital with her son. Preciousfairymom80, Crystal, you and Timmy are in my thoughts. Oh, and if there is a mistake, I'm sorry. **

**Disclaimer: I TOTALLY OWN THIS IDEA!  
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The COUP Chapter 2 – Hi Ho, It's off to Work I Go

Edward's Peen's POV

Hot Puss hadn't relented one bit and Edward was getting a bit agitated by it. In fact, he got so damn agitated by it that he practically ripped me off one night during our special love sessions. Now, I'm not one to complain when the going gets rough, cause rough is fucking fun when done right, but he didn't even lube up his hands so it felt like I got an Indian Sunburn from him or some shit.

He hadn't even brought any new puss home for me to play. I needed to vent soon before I went on strike. Luckily, we were going back to work! YES!

Edward had gotten a new script and read over it while lying naked on his couch. It was his normal routine and I always rose to salute the script if it was good enough. Well, I certainly rose to this one. Edward was going to get to play a Mexican Drug Cartel boss named Senor Edward, which would make me Senor Peen! All I needed was a wispy moustache and an accent and I was in!

Edward showered us, making sure I was nice and clean, giving me a _special_ haircut before heading to work. The bosses like my mane extra short, to accentuate my height even more. Now, I'm not short by any means, but the seventies afro bush always deducted an inch so we went jarhead short for aesthetic reasons.

On the way out the door, with me all snug in my banana hammock, Edward stopped to check the mail. He peered over the mailman's shoulder as he put the mail in the boxes and found what he was looking for…Hot Puss's name! Isabella Swan…Bella as I wanted to call her because she was beautiful. I just hoped her puss was as gorgeous as she was. I'd been fooled before with that shit. What was her name…June…Joan…Jane! That's it, Jane! Jane was stunning to look at, but when her drawers dropped and I ventured in, I wanted to throw up instantly, not even caring about my reputation.

I'm still pissed at Edward not pulling the ole scratch-n-sniff with her, instead, bending her over the trunk of his car in an alley behind a club. Even through my protective casing the smell was horrible. I would have died if I had to go in there unprotected. Her puss was definitely a thing that made you go ugh.

Anyways, back to more pleasant topics, work… Ah work was a joy. I got, well Edward got paid for my performance abilities. And the spotlight was my stage baby! I loved it up there, I mean in there. I got to work with some of the biggest names, and all their pusses were meticulously tended to. I didn't have to worry about anything, no diseases, no stenches, and no pathetic hanger-on'ers. Yeah, some of them were a bit roomy in the vag department, but who could blame them with the abuse they went through on a daily basis.

We rolled up to the office and headed in. I was already beginning to stretch and do my warm up exercises in preparation for today's adventure. Senor Peen would perform better than ever today. I especially knew it when I saw the cast roster. I'd be buried deep inside of Stephanie today! She was a fucking dream! Blonde, with the carpet to match the curtains, titties big enough to fuck, big blue eyes that always bulged when they saw me, and one of the sweetest puss's known to man or peen. And her deep throating skills…fuck me if she didn't know what she was doing. That chick could suck a fucking golf ball through a garden hose.

We went into our dressing room and Edward stripped down, releasing me from my hammock so I could swing freely in the breeze. Edward's costume was already laid out – black cargo pants, black combat boots, and a white wife beater. There was some tinted oil on the counter that he rubbed all over us to give the slight Hispanic glow to our skin, and a fake, cheesy, seventies cop mustache.

We got dressed and headed into the production room to get started. The crew was already there, finishing setting up. The script called for us to be working in a cocaine warehouse, where Stephanie was one of our slaves, forced to work preparing the drugs for us. She had to work naked to ensure that she didn't steal any of the product, so she was already there, completely bare, her puss perfectly groomed like a putting green – thank god I didn't have to give her a course on golf course maintenance.

There were other various women milling about, naked and ready to be extras, and a large table covered in powdered sugar to mimic the cocaine. Edward, I mean Senor Eduardo, was supposed to walk around barking orders, and Stephanie was going to get bold and stand up to him. He would then start to fondle her and finally take her on top of the pile of coke. That was the gist of the scene, and we would improvise throughout.

I was jumping for joy when the director handed Edward, Senor Eduardo, a fake machine gun and yelled action. Its show time folks!

The scene started and I began spouting my lines to Stephanie, enticing her puss for me. Ven a chuparme – come suck me, garganta profunda mi Mujer – deep throat me woman, and Me voy a la mierda que prima – I'm going to fuck you raw!

I was in the zone!

This was going to be a great I just knew it! Senor Eduardo started his dialogue, not as cheesy as normal porn dialogue, but still somewhat cheesy. Pretty soon, it was my turn to appear as Stephanie knelt before us, begging to be spared.

Senor Eduardo offered to spare her life if she could show us how much she meant it, as he unbuttoned the cargo pants and I jumped out like some Halloween effect, springing forth to scare the virginal puss's around the world. Right on cue, Stephanie's big baby blue's bulged out, her tongue darted out to lick her full, pouty lips, and her mouth opened to swallow me whole. Down the hatch I go!

Mmmm, wet lips, textured tongue… Why, hello there Uvula! Nice to see you again. Oh, wait, I'll see you in a few… HELLO THROAT! Stephanie didn't disappoint as she sucked my entire length in, moaning as her throat constricted around my neck. God I loved being choked by her throat.

Then, she drew me back out, swirling her tongue around my head and licking my Cyclops eye before allowing me the opportunity to dive back in. Down Periscope! Stephanie worked us into a frenzy… Throat, tongue, throat, tongue, throat, tongue, throat, tongue. Shit! Her teeth tickle! Oh shit! That's my spot! Oh god, she better stop or I'm going to vomit her some breakfast like a momma bird. Oh…here it comes…here it comes! Ahhh! She stopped! Oh wait, she didn't, Senor Eduardo pulled her off by her hair. Nice one! I'd high five him if I had any hands.

Oh, here comes the good stuff. He was throwing her onto the coke, I mean powdered sugar covered table. Sprinkle a little on her, that's right. Now lick it off. Give her puss some to Senor Eduardo. I want that shit so sweet it makes my imaginary teeth ache for more. Ooo, thanks, Senor Eduardo, you sure know how to follow directions.

Oh, he's lining me up. This job had one drawback, before he could plunge me into the hot, wet, tight Stephanie vag; I had to put on my wetsuit. Oh god, she's helping…she's helping! Man her hands are almost as good as her mouth! Oh yeah, play with my balls, give my brothers some love!

Ok, wetsuit is on, I'm lined up again, time to work! My host grabbed me, gave me a tight squeeze around the base, a reassuring hug of sorts, then let me dive in, head first. Oh Jesus, her puss was as sweet as ever.

The sounds became muffled and loud, over and over as I dove in and jumped out, dove in and jumped out. Stephanie's screams were loud, whether I was in or out of her delicious puss. Those screams were spurring me on but NO! I wouldn't be allowed to purge just yet. Damn that director that just yelled cut.

Edward pulled off my wetsuit and let me get a breath of fresh air. I was panting and bouncing from the exertion of work. I always was expected to perform to the highest of standards, while all my host had to do was gyrate his hips, say a few lines, and lick and kiss where directed. Sure, he broke a sweat, but I never saw him having to empty the contents of his stomach on cue. Being a dick was hard! I was overworked and underpaid, but not unloved, and I did get some perks, like all the puss I could handle.

Ok, position change and back to work, sans the wetsuit. This time, Stephanie was still on the drug table, on her back, and Senor Eduardo was straddling her stomach, nestling me between the perfect set of titties for fucking. Hot damn! I was going to get to show Stephanie how much I, Senor Peen, loved her! Oh oh oh! Maybe she'll even let me throw up on her! Oh hell yeah! I love this job!

Titties! Titties! TITTIES! Yeah, Senor Eduardo, nestle me in good. That's right. Squeeze those D-cups around me. Ahh, nice and warm. Now, for the thrust power… In, out, in, out, in, out. Oh hell yeah! Stephanie just licked my head. Oh fuck! Her tongue is soft!

My brothers are tightening; I hope the director isn't going to stop us. Wait, did I just hear the words 'money shot'? Oh fuck yes! It's time to throw up! That's it Stephanie, show me your neck, let me coat that beautiful section of skin.

Oh god, oh god, here it comes, it's coming up. Arghhhhhh! I spewed all over her neck, letting it coat her skin in a thick bead of my purge, making it resemble a pearl necklace.

Edward stood up and some of the crew came over with a robe so I wouldn't get cold as I began to fall asleep. These crew members were so nice sometimes. I hoped they took care of Stephanie just as well.

Edward headed back to the dressing room after a few words with the director about another script coming his way. We got back into the dressing room and Edward showered us off, making sure to bathe me meticulously. I loved being squeaky clean. My host took such good care of me…at times that is.

We headed back home after getting redressed. I was once again snug in my banana hammock, sleeping peacefully. But, once home, I was surely awake. Hot Puss herself was in the lobby getting her mail! And DAMN she looked fine! It should be illegal for an ass that tight to be in jeans like that. They made me want to dive right in the poop chute and go digging for buried treasure.

Sure, the poop chute wasn't always the cleanest of places to play, but what's play without getting a little dirty in the process? Soap always cleaned it all right up afterwards. And, if I wore my wetsuit, I didn't get dirty other than my own spew. Besides, it's tight in that hole, so tight, like virginal tight. Makes me have fond memories of cherry poppings.

Tight pusses were always nice. A little claustrophobic, but still nice. And, breaking through that innocent barrier was just nice. But I digress. It's easy for a dick to get off track given that I have only one head that thinks of only one thing.

But back to Hot Puss. There she was, practically shaking her ass at me. Damn these pants suddenly became tight! Suffocating in the snugness, can't breathe! Can't breathe! Hyperventilating in these suddenly snug jeans!

Let me out, Edward! Be a nice host! Let me out! Come on! Please! I'm begging you! If you do, Hot Puss will see me and want me. It'll make you happy, Edward. Please! Please!

Fuck! He's not going to release the beast, aka me. Hot Puss isn't going to see me. Shit! She's walking away. Come back, Hot Puss, come back! Oh that's right, host, follow her up the stairs, stare at that fine ass. Shit, the claustrophobia is coming back. But, it's worth the panicky feeling just to be able to stare at Hot Puss's ass. One of these days I was going to be the proud occupant of that ass, stuffing it full of me!

Edward kept right up with her, his eyes level with her ass. She seemed to notice and kept scowling over her shoulder at us. Fuck man, you're going to ruin it! I want my Hot Puss! But Hot Puss didn't seem to want us as she practically ran to her door and flew inside. I even herd the latch lock behind her. Damn, Edward looked like a stalker now. But I didn't!

My host sighed, just as I did, and we headed up the stairs to our place. Once inside, Edward made us some food. Now, while I can't eat like a normal food, Edward being my host allowed me the nourishment he consumed. So, forty-five minutes later, I was feeling full and ready to party the night away.

Edward dressed us to kill for the night. We were in tight navy slacks, black shoes, and a white button up shirt. He let me go commando so I was lying down the length of his leg, accentuated by the navy slacks whenever he moved just right, which was every move.

He was taking me out tonight, to a perfect place to pick up puss. While I did get puss at work, it wasn't the same since I was constantly being told what to do, how to move, and when I could spew. I much preferred improv.

We got out to the club and Edward ordered us a shot of Patron, I loved how that shit made my brothers tingle. Once they were all tingly, we made our way out onto the dance floor and found the ladies loving up against me. I had ass pressed all around!

There was one particular piece that was quite impressive, even for my standards. I believe she called herself Rose. Well, if I had any say so in the matter, Rose would be riding me before the night ended. And I think Rose felt the same way because she reached down and gripped me tight as shit!

Ow! That almost hurt. Tonight was going to be fun! Rough, but fun as hell! I couldn't wait.

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**What did you think? Senor Peen really seemed to like Stephanie, but Hot Puss, aka Bella, is more desirable. Will he ever get to sample her flavors? Show our beloved Peen some love! Until next time, not sure when exactly that will be...**


	3. Chapter 3 Bound Rose

**Well, well, well, here I am again! Bringing you another COUP update! Gosh, I have to say that I'm awed by the love you guys are showing Senor Peen! Rose Arcadia even made me a blinkie banner that I have to get posted on my profile ASAP so you guys can see how awesome it is! Also, COUP was featured over at The Cold Shower for Rob Peen Wednesday! **

**This chapter goes out to Rose Arcadia and the Rose in here is NOT Rosalie, but our lovely and sexy Rose Arcadia! I hope you all enjoy!**

**Thanks to preciousfairymom80, as always, for her lightening beta work. LEAVE THE SHATNER COMMAS ALONE CRYSTAL! And, my love to Rose Arcadia for her beautiful banner. I'll have it posted ASAP!**

**Disclaimer: I TOTALLY OWN THIS STORY LINE AND POV!  
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The COUP Chapter 3

Previously:

_We got out to the club and Edward ordered us a shot of Patron, I loved how that shit made my brothers tingle. Once they were all tingly, we made our way out onto the dance floor and found the ladies loving up against me. I had ass pressed all around! _

_There was one particular piece that was quite impressive, even for my standards. I believe she called herself Rose. Well, if I had any say so in the matter, Rose would be riding me before the night ended. And I think Rose felt the same way because she reached down and gripped me tight as shit! _

_Ow! That almost hurt. Tonight was going to be fun! Rough, but fun as hell! I couldn't wait._

In fact, I had to have her, and like NOW! I had to get the message to Edward.

_Hey yo! Edward, man! Come on! I'm begging you here to cut this T&A fest and take this hot piece of ass back home. How about it? What do you say? Please?_

Apparently Edward heard my pleas and maneuvered Rose to the door, out into the parking lot, and into the car. The entire ride home she was shifting my gears as Edward shifted the cars. The way Rose was handling me was divine! I knew I had to be on my A game tonight to contend with her apparent skills.

We got back to the apartment after a few tense moments when Rose pulled me from my navy peen pouch, aka Edward's slacks, and began to drop her head. Edward swerved and missed shifting gears because her body was blocking the gear shifter. After that, Rose kept to just hand holding with me as Edward navigated the roads back to the apartment.

We jumped out of the car as we pulled up to the parking lot and hurried around to let Rose out, after tucking me back in of course. By the time we hit the stairs, Rose couldn't keep her hands off of Edward or me, and who were we to complain?

Not paying attention to where we were exactly, Edward ended up pushing Rose up against the wall right next to Hot Puss's door. Some extremely fucking tense moments transpired immediately after when Hot Puss, aka Bella, opened her door and scowled at us. I did notice her eyes drop to look at me and I jumped in my navy peen pouch to say hi.

Edward just smirked at Hot Puss then grabbed Rose and pulled her up the stairs, carrying me along with them. The moment we entered his apartment, we were pushed up against the door, closing it with our weight, as Rose dropped to her knees in front of us.

Oh holy hell! I watched with rapt attention as she undid the slacks that were strangling me and I took in her appearance outside of the dark club. She was about 5'9", tan complexion that hinted at Spanish origins, long lean legs, the perfect J-Lo ass that I wondered if she bought because no ass is that perfect – right? Anyways, in addition to the perfect, round, plump, juicy ass, her waist pinched in to accentuate her hips even more. Then, her body flared out gracefully into one of the larger racks that I've had the pleasure of fucking. What were these things? DDs? DDDs? Es? God only knows, and her bra sales lady, but that was neither here nor there. The busty blonde babe was opening wide for me and I saluted her just before her mouth engulfed me. Ahhh, sweet serenity of suction; I loved being blown.

This babe sucked me almost as good as Stephanie, only she couldn't handle me greeting her tonsils. When I went to introduce myself, she gagged slightly. So, I tried again and again, only to meet with the same gagging sensation. Damn! No deep throat!

Well, there were other places I could get deep inside of, and I was ready to introduce myself! Edward seemed ready to do his typically easy job of hip thrusts and pushups, evident by him moving Rose to the bed.

I got stripped completely bare, and then dressed again in my wet suit, as Rose finished removing her barely there outfit and revealing lingerie. I wanted to sneak a peek at the bra tag to confirm my guesses on her tit size, but I had another job before me…her puss.

Edward crawled up the bed and he and Rose began to kiss and fondle, which gave me a moment alone with this puss to get acquainted.

_Hi there, I'm Rod, Rod Pattinhead. I'm a 30 year old peen with two brothers that are a bit nuts. For work, well, I'm actually overworked and underpaid, but such is the life of a dick. My hobbies include fucking, fucking, and more fucking. Oh, and I love being sucked, fondled, manhandled, and almost any other act that involves me getting play. _

Rose's puss didn't respond other than drooling on itself. Damn, I love rendering them speechless and wet. Edward reached down and moved me into position, allowing me a glance upwards at Rose one last time before I invaded her and performed a peen probe.

The cursory glance upwards showed me that Edward had brought out the restraints. Well, they hadn't been brought out, per se, because they were always attached to the bed frame; but Rose's arms were positioned in the cuffs, suspended from the posts of the frame, her eyes wild with desire and lust. I smiled pleasantly before shoving myself inside of her dripping wet puss, casing myself like a hotdog in a bun.

I heard the muffled cry of desire from Rose before I slid out and threw myself back in, even deeper this time. Rose's legs lifted up and wrapped themselves around Edward's waist, adding a bit of leverage to my motions. With the extra force, I slithered out yet again and punched back in, greeting her cervix, most likely stamping it with the impression of my face.

Rose screamed out and tried to lift her hips to deepen the position, so Edward grabbed two pillows, lifted her ass up, and propped it onto the pillows. Now her ass was raised and her body sloped downwards to the mattress, while her arms still hung from the cuffs.

Rose was panting as I began to dive in and out faster and harder every time. Her legs tried to keep up with my rhythm but failed so she dropped them to the bed, hitching them up her sides to allow me greater access. Thank you honey! I felt my brothers begin to slap against her perineum which elicited deep guttural growls from Rose's lips. Oh yeah, she was liking it rough like this.

I kept up my rough and frantic pace as Edward began slapping her tits and pinching her nipples roughly. Rose was screaming out as I pummeled her cervix, in and out, in and out, in and out. My brothers kept slapping against her as Edward slapped her tits, gripped her shoulders, and began spouting obscenities to her.

"Fuck bitch, yeah, you like it rough. Yeah, take my cock. You're a dirty little slut, aren't you? You like me stuffing you. Tell me how much you like my cock filling you," Edward growled at her as I began to break a sweat in my wetsuit. Fuck, rough sex was even harder work than normal.

"Yes, fuck me raw, fuck yes, I love your dick in-," Rose breathed out with a Spanish tinted accent, but was cut off as Edward hands moved to her throat, constricting slightly. This caused Rose to growl and I felt like Niagara Falls had been let loose onto me as the flood of sweet nectar surged forth, coating me thoroughly.

The sudden breath play caused the walls of my moist cocoon to constrict around me, signaling the eminent release of Rose. I sped up my jackhammer rhythm, practically beating down her walls as she screamed through Edward's grip around her neck. The increased constriction and accompanying pulsating action made my brothers suck up to my feet and the bile begin to rise up my throat.

Edward wasn't done with her just yet so I had to hold back the spew as he repositioned his grip on her throat, using just one hand, and moved the other in between them, right above me. I felt his knuckles brushing against me as I continued to move in and out, working myself into a frenzy. How fucking long had I been fucking? I'd lost track of time in here.

"Ay Papi! Oh fuck, me encanta el pene!"

Oh shit, baby's speaking Spanish to me. Oh shit she said she loves Edward's dick, aka me! Edward squeezed harder on her throat, effectively turning her words into incoherent grunts, moans, and gurgles.

Edward's fingers made quick work of Rose's magic button, pressing and pinching it in the perfect way to make her scream out again, only to have that scream cut off by his hand around her throat even tighter than before. Her puss walls made up for the scream, squeezing me until I almost did. The spew was coming forth this time and there was nothing Edward, Rose, or I could do to stop it.

Rose's walls continued to pulsate around me, reducing me to a quivering shaft of peen, incoherent of even my own name as my brother's stomach contents flew from my throat, filling my suit and coating me in my thick white goo.

Edward pulled me out of the sopping wet mess I made of her vag and let me fall asleep against his leg as he untied our puss of the night. Rose got up and headed to the bathroom, dress, bra, and undies in hand. Edward relaxed onto the bed, picked up his cell phone, and called for a cab for Rose. Damn sly bastard that he was, Edward knew how to fuck-em-and-chuck-em! In fact, I think it was his specialty.

When Rose came out of the bathroom she was dressed and ready to go. She asked if Edward was taking her home just as his phone rang to signal the cab had arrived. Edward got up, removed the now cold and goopy sleeve off of me, wiped me off with a pair of boxers, and slid on a pair of pajama pants.

Without a shirt or shoes, we traversed the stairs and saw Rose out. She snaked her tongue in Edward's mouth as the cab driver waited impatiently in the front seat, blatantly watching as Edward's hands roamed over her ass, inching her dress up to give the cab driver a view. Damn, Edward was such an asshole at times. I loved it!

The cabbie smiled and sat patiently while Edward finished publicly molesting Rose and took her number with false assurance to call her the next day. As we sauntered inside after paying the cabbie, Edward looked up and saw Hot Puss peeking out a crack of her door. She saw us coming and slammed the door. Edward chuckled and headed back upstairs to our apartment. We settled in for the night after a long shower and then into a deep sleep while visions of Hot Puss danced through my head.

*~*TheCOUP*~*

We got up the next day – well Edward got up, I was already standing at attention from the visions of Hot Puss that I envisioned all night long. I didn't know if she was bare, scruffy, or afro'd so I pictured them all. But, with every dream of her, one thing remained the same, the way we fit together so perfectly, like I was created for her and her for me.

Remembering last night's dreams made me throb painfully, unable and unwilling to lie back down, so Edward took us to the shower and cuddled me for a bit. I loved it when he cuddled me, just he and I. It was nice to have alone time with him loving on me. I did love the ladies and I really loved the puss, oh man did I love the puss.

After I got to paint the shower walls, we got dressed and headed out for some errands. We had to pay the bills, get some groceries, buy another year's worth of wetsuits for me – I demanded different types this time, colors, textures, and even a few glow in the dark ones, can you say light saber?

Our errands continued and Edward decided to grab a coffee to keep him going. He was so not a day walker. I swear that he was vampiric or something with the way that he preferred the nights. It was like the sun drained him of all his energy.

As we walked into the coffee shop, I stood up immediately and took notice of the very familiar ass bent over a table, the brunette locks practically tangled up with some chick's blonde ones, and fingers were entwined together. But I knew that ass! That was Hot Puss!

_Oh, Edward, can we please go say hi? I'll be good I promise!_

He must have heard me because I heard him mutter to himself, "not now!" It came out as more of a growl but he was definitely talking to me. This was confirmed with his next comment of, "down boy."

_But, but Edward! We _need_ her! You want her just as much as I do. Besides, no one has ever denied us until her, we have to have her just to keep the streak._

"Jesus, get down," Edward muttered again as he slid beside a trashcan to discretely shift me into a less noticeable position. But, as he tried to shift me against my will, he knocked into the trashcan and the trays on top went cascading to the floor loudly. "Dammit!" he cursed himself because I know he wasn't talking to me that way. No one talked to Rod Pattinhead like that!

But, my internal rant was quickly discarded when I realized that Hot Puss was staring at us, well me then him. Her eyes landed on me and grew wide as I twitched hello for her, then they moved up to meet Edward's gaze.

I could feel his blush of embarrassment all the way down to my taint and knew that she was going to win this round. She solidified my assessment when she smiled at us, turned around to show us her ass once more, leaned into the blonde bombshell that I wouldn't mind cuddling inside of, and then kissed her slowly on the lips.

Edward's mouth dropped open, as did half the guys in the coffee shop; but Hot Puss just stood up, grabbed her bag, turned with a smile on her face, and began to walk towards us. As she passed she looked down and smirked. Then her mouth opened and "down boy" came out as she winked and walked out of the door.

Oh my holy shit fuck! Did Hot Puss just check me out like that? God I had to have her now, I wanted her more than ever. I looked back over at the blonde that had just kissed my Bella and she looked equally shocked. She quickly got up and exited the coffee shop, following after Bella.

Edward continued to stand there in a stupor, watching the door for Bella to reappear, but she didn't. He finally snapped out of it and went to order his coffee, black, he didn't do that cream and sugar bullshit and definitely didn't flavor the fuck out of it. He was a man!

We ended up quitting our errands for the day and headed back to the apartment. As Edward slowly trudged up the stairs, he slowed as we neared Hot Puss's door. At just that moment, the door opened and blondie from before walked out with a big smile on her face and Bella was inside smiling equally as goofy. Their hair was equally disarrayed and their clothes were disheveled. Did they just…? Were they doing what I think they were doing?

With that thought running rampant through both our minds, we sprinted up the stairs, laughter from the girls chasing us up the corridor. As we got inside, Edward quickly pulled me out of my hammock, where I was already rigid and waiting, and began to stroke me, moaning out loudly. I pictured Hot Puss and I'm sure he was picturing Bella.

His moans became louder and louder, then sounded like they were echoing. He quieted down for a moment, and that's when we heard it – the sound making me about explode with desire for what had to be taking place downstairs. We heard the mixed moans of two ladies, obviously in the middle of something highly pleasurable.

Edward fell to his knees, me still in hand, and then pressed his ear to the floor to drink in the sounds of ecstasy from below. His yanks on me became frantic as I sprinted towards the finish, spurred on by the orgyish sounds from downstairs. Just as a particularly loud and satisfying moan came through the floorboards, I released all over Edward's hand and he collapsed into a puddle of panting male flesh.

Fuck, Hot Puss was going to kill us before it was all over, I just knew it.

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**Hmmm, is Hot Puss bi, gay, or just messing with Edward and our lovely Rod Pattinhead, aka Peenie! And, what are Rod and Eddie boy going to do to find out? Not sure when the next update is going to be but I do know which h00r will be in it... NOT TELLING hahahah! Would love to hear from you with your thoughts and comments and general love for COUP!**


	4. Chapter 4 Popping the Cherry

**So...I have to say, first off, thank you to all the h00rs over on Twitter and Tumblr who have been pimping out COUP like there's no tomorrow. They even prompted me to give our delicious Rod his own Twitter account COUPward where teasers are posted, questions can be asked, and dirty comments are made. Stop by, add him to your list, and stay and play. I'm also on Twitter smmiskimen.**

**Second, Steph, whomever you are, thank you for recommending me to the fictionators for the pwnd of the week! I was amazed. **

**Third, I'm up for 3 Golden Lemon Awards (www(.)goldenlemonawards(.)com - Best Use of Music - Edward Cullen's 12 Days of Christmas, Biggest Disappointment in Bed - Sex Everyday Keeps the Doctor Away, and Pairing That Made Your Jaw Drop - Sex Everyday Keeps the Doctor Away) and 3 Shimmer Awards (http:/www(.)kwiksurveys(.)com/online-survey(.)php?surveyID=IJHOGK_f086411a - Cliffhanger Award/Best Angst - Stockholm Syndrome, Feather Award/Best Fluff - Edward Cullen's 12 Days of Christmas, and Quickie Award/Best Oneshot - They Think I'm Dead. Also the banner for my story Stockholm Syndrome is up for the Painters Award) With the Shimmer Awards, the survey has each category twice, just so you know.**

**And finally (I'm so sorry for this long as hell author's note lol), I entered the Pick Your Own Adventure Contest! It's anonymous so only me and my beta know which story is mine. http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/u/2663512/ Go check them out and I hope you like the three that are up so far, mine's one of them. **

**Ok, done now except to thank preciousfairymom80 for her fuckawesome beta skills, the h00rs over at The Cold Shower http:/thecoldshower(.)wordpress(.)com who have dubbed COUP as the official TCS fanfic (GO THERE FOR AWESOME ROB PORN!). And Bleriana, this chapter is dedicated to you bb! I FLUV YOU!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters but I totally own the plot and pov!  
**

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The COUP Chapter 4 – Popping the Cherry

We woke up the next day, after Hot Puss's torturous noises from the night before, and got dressed for work. As we were heading out, Crystal, Edward's agent, called to say she was meeting him at the studio. There was apparently a deal that involved Edward that she wanted to talk to him about. We headed out and arrived at the studio after a quick stop at the coffee shop in hopes of seeing Hot Puss on the way, no such luck.

When we got inside, Crystal was waiting for us and ushered us into an office with the Volturi brothers, Marcus, Caius, and Aro. They owned and operated Volturi Videos and were from some small town in Italy, hence the odd names.

I sat snug in my pouch, sleepy still, while Edward discussed the new venture with everyone. I woke up when I heard mention of the Cherry Popping series. I'd always wanted to work in those series, but Edward and I were too big for the lower selling titles. Our fans wanted us in the spotlight.

However, there was apparently a chick that had specifically requested to work with me, well us, and she was offering her cherry, perfectly ripe for the popping. All she asked was that it was Rod that did it. Well, she really asked for Edward, but we all knew I was the star.

I bounced eagerly hoping that Edward would get the hint that I wanted this job. Cherries were my specialty and my favorite. They made a nice pie too.

I nearly cried when Edward agreed, after seeing a picture of the cherry, I mean chick, first. I couldn't remember the name they called her, B something or other, but I'd find out later when I asked her puss to wrestle with Rod. Oh yeah, this shit was going down!

The date was set for a week later and that week couldn't fly by fast enough. We actually got to meet Cherry, Bleriana I found out was her name – she was foreign – for coffee to make sure that things were comfortable. Unfortunately the meeting was at Hot Puss's favorite coffee shop and she saw us with Cherry, I mean Bleriana. Hot Puss stormed out and we couldn't give chase because of our contract.

Throughout the discussion, Edward questioned her on her knowledge of sex, porn, and other specifics. When asked if she had any nicknames, Bleriana blushed and whispered 'Tiger Tits.' Tiger Tits? What the fuck? Her blush prompted us, Edward and I, to ask where the name came from and we were told that one Halloween she had dressed up as a cat, going as far as painting tiger stripes on her exposed chest, which had been really exposed due to the black corset that she was wearing. One of her friends called her Tiger Tits that night and it had stuck.

Hmmm, Tiger Tits, I could work with it if Cherry, I mean Bleria…hell B, was like a sex kitten in bed. She certainly looked like she could be wild in bed. She was sweet looking, which was what made me speculative. Her skin held a rich olive complexion and exuded her virginal status by being virginal itself – no piercings or tattoos. Her breasts were small for the porn industry, but the perfect largness for her petite frame. Her lips, god I wanted those things wrapped around me in a way that made my brothers want to burst with desire.

Her eyes, oh those big brown Hershey pools made me have a sweet tooth for chocolate covered puss, and in a bad way. Add some graham crackers and marshmallows and we'd have some pussy smores. Mmmm, pussy smores. I was going rigid in the body just thinking about the deliciousness of that. But I digress. Back to Cherry Puss in front of me.

I continued my appraisal as she and Edward talked. I noticed that her cheeks, even with their natural tan, kept flushing with scarlet blushes as Edward would say something to her that her virginal mind, body, and soul could not comprehend or fathom. I realized straight away that, no matter how much I wanted to ram myself balls deep in that chamber of chastity, I'd finesse her first, then work up to the big fuck.

Edward and Cherry, Bleriana as he continued to call her, rolling her name off of his tongue in a way that suggested he was cheating on Hot Puss, discussed the finalities of the contract and some of what would happen, then we parted ways. In three days time I would be buried deep in Cherry and couldn't wait.

Those next three days passed quickly and soon it was time for Cherry Popping 18. We got ready for the dream contract, which was even dreamier by the fact that it had been proven that Bleriana was completely clean and free of any and everything that could make me shrivel up and fall off. There had been one part of the contract that had been apparently overlooked by me. I couldn't wait for today to get started to make sure that that contractual section was actually factual and not a myth.

We got to the studio and made our way to the dressing room. There was no costume, no script, it was going to be all natural and real. Improv was one of my specialties. We dressed in simple clothing and headed into the studio. Cherry was there, sitting in a chair looking positively scared shitless but excited at the same time. Oh baby, don't worry, Rod's going to take good care of you.

Edward went over to talk to her and let her know how things would start, simple kisses and touches as the clothing was removed, then the good stuff would begin. He promised that he would make her feel good and I turned my nose up at him. It was _me_ that was going to make her feel good, he just got to fondle the rest of her.

Once everyone was in place and the cameras were rolling, Edward took Cherry's hand and slowly led her to the bed in the center of the room, gently easing her down on it. He began to run his hand up and down her side while he leaned in to kiss her gently. I was getting impatient in my hammock but I knew I'd get the cherry puss-aid I wanted before it was all said and done with. I just needed to be patient.

Edward had her moaning softly, she seemed hesitant to be louder, but that would come later when I penetrated her. Hey, that shit rhymed.

Finally, clothing began to drop and I shouted for joy as her naked body slowly became exposed to me. Oh holy hell, this body was practically perfect, the holy grail of chastity laid there before me, ripe for the taking. Her entire frame trembled with unreleased desires and I was the key to unlocking them. I was going to make sure she got to experience the whole me, not Senor Peen or any of my other alias's, just Rod.

Edward's fingers began to work her body slowly, allowing her to warm up to what I was going to do to her. I could smell her arousal flowing off of her in radiating waves of lust. I looked at her puss, the beginning shimmer of her sweet nectar was appearing on her lips. Oh she looked so sweet. I wanted to jump in there and get a taste but I had to wait. Edward's fingers were going there first, to prime her for my intrusion. And intrude I would!

The soft moans and whimpers became louder and louder as Edward sweet talked my way towards her V-card. This was going to be a V-card worthy of framing once I procured that shit. As Edward's fingers deftly maneuvered over her O-button, I got jumpier and jumpier, anticipating what I was about to dive into head first, pun totally intended.

Finally, as I heard and watched Cherry baby reach her first orgasm ever, I knew it was my time. And seeing her face as the first waves of pleasure washed over it was something I was going to commit to memory. I never got to see the O-face because I was buried to my feet causing that O. But this time I got to witness it and it was a holier than thou moment.

Edward whispered to her that he would take it slow at first and Bleriana nodded as he lined me up, lifting her leg for maximum camera coverage and angle. It also opened her up for me more. I had a feeling that that shit was going to be suffocatingly tight and was looking forward to it, but knew that ease of insertion was key to making this as smooth as possible.

I got lined up fully and bounced along her folds, coating myself in her sweet ambrosia. Wait, what the fuck? Where's my wetsuit? Surely I had seen the contract wrong, but nope! Holy fucking shit! I began to sing it from the rooftops. I'm going in naked! I'm going in naked! Someone could cut me off right now, stuff and mount me, and I'd die a happy peen.

Oh god, here we go. Cherry a la puss is my appetizer, entrée, and dessert tonight. I feel like puss tonight, puss tonight! Edward grabbed me and began the slow process of pushing me in. Cherry baby tightened up some, and I heard her grunt with discomfort as I slowly slid my way in further and further. I came to her barrier, the delicious shield of purity, the barrier of innocence, the obstructer of penetration, ok, getting a little out of hand there. Back to the job before me, breaking the hymen.

I pushed forward more, feeling it break as I pushed through and felt the flesh tear around me. There was a disgruntled moan followed by some shushing from Edward and I was finally seated inside the delicious pure puss.

Oh my god, she was fucking tight! I felt like I was being constricted by a boa or something but it was delicious. I slowly shifted in and out to let Bleriana warm up to me. When I felt her juices begin to flow around me in my naked state, I knew it was gravy baby.

In and out a little faster as I milked her innocent little canal, primping and prepping it for what I really wanted to do…fuck the shit out of her. Cherry started to moan more freely and I felt Edward's hand come down to rest above me on her magic O-button. He was going to make sure that she remembered us from here on out. All other peens that had the pleasure of penetrating her puss would forever pale in comparison to us.

Edward kept working on the O-button while I poked and prodded her cervix, tattooing my name on that shit…Rod was here bitches! I was the first, the discoverer of the folds, the investigator of her elusive orgasm. Wait, that shit wasn't going to be elusive much longer because here it comes baby!

The juices that had been a trickle became a deluge as I picked up my pace some, bringing her to a toe curling, moan inducing pinnacle of pleasure that she gladly embraced. Oh yeah baby! Now I could begin the fun shit. I was going to pound the shit out of her pure little puss and make her forever remember Rod Pattinhead, slayer of virginity!

Edward hooked one of her legs over his arm as he began to really thrust now, making sure to give the camera the perfect view while giving Bleriana the perfect pleasure. I kept my head in the game, literally and figuratively, as I worked at a new pace, quickly reaching a frenzied nature as I showed Cherry just how good it could be to fuck.

She was moaning, groaning, letting out strings of cuss words that would make a sailor blush, and I ate all of that shit up. She was being branded by Rod and I don't think she cared one bit that it was on camera either.

I could feel that my end was approaching due to the tightness of her twat, but tight was ten times better than floppy or loose. I didn't like loose puss, it was unbecoming of my figure. Edward apparently had a better idea than letting me spew in her depths, because he pulled me out after she had another suffocating orgasm that left me breathless.

I wasn't sure what was up until Edward grabbed her by her hair, winked at her, then told her to suck her juices off of me. Oh fuck me running backwards with a baseball bat, that shit made me impossibly harder.

Cherry looked scared for a minute but Edward jerked her forward on her knees and pushed her head down lower, almost stabbing her in the face with me. She took the hint and opened her mouth, placing me inside. But what in the fuck was she doing? Was she actually _blowing_ on me? Oh god honey, just because it's called a _blow_job doesn't mean that you _blow_ on me! Oh Edward, please show her what to do, please teach her the ways. Be her Yoda or something.

Edward took the hint and began coaching her, telling her to suck on it like a popsicle, as he used her hair to pull her up and down my body. Yeah, that's it, lick, suck, hollow those cheeks… Wait! SHIT! NO TEETH! NO TEETH! Edward pulled her off, scolded her with a light smack to the cheek, then pushed her head back down. She started again and was much better this time, keeping her teeth well away from me, thank fucking god on that.

It started to feel good again and then I about jumped when Edward snaked a hand behind her and gave her the 'shocker' while she sucked me for all I was worth. Oh god, yeah, move her head, up and down, up and down, oh god, oh god, I was going to spew soon. I felt my brothers tighten up to me and, before I could paint her throat with my protein shake, Edward yanked her mouth off of me and gripped tight around my ankles as he let me spew all over her face.

Ohholymotherfuckingshit! Deflowering never looked better than it did when I painted their face at the end. I was gasping for breath as I finished and Bleriana just sat there, stunned silent by my little worker bees that were beginning to drip down her face. Edward smiled at her as I gave her a low bow, then we got off the bed and headed off set as the director yelled 'cut.'

Going back to the apartment by way of a drive-thru, we headed inside, Edward grabbed the mail, then started walking up the stairs, shoveling a cheeseburger in his face, his nose buried in the mail, and he didn't see where he was going. I saw, however, and got a glorious view of Hot Puss's ass right before we walked into it.

Oh god, that ass was so soft and supple, I about came right then and there. However, when she spun around, her face was definitely not an O-face, it was an oh shit face if I had ever seen one. I'm sure Edward's mirrored it too.

"Watch where you're going!" Hot Puss spat at us and I just sat there smug, snug, and saluting her glorious puss which was right in front of me.

"I could say the same to you," Edward shot back, immediately on the defensive with her words.

"I was just coming out of my apartment and locking my door. _I_ wasn't moving, _you_ were," Hot Puss retorted, her face flushed as her eyes darted from Edward's face, down to me, and back up again.

Oh Hot Puss, you know you want me, why do you fight me so? Come on Hot Puss, give me your nectar, let me taste your flowing juices, let me coat myself in you. I want to settle in your bun and never go out venturing again.

Edward raised his eyebrow at her suggestive glance and smirked at her while I jumped for her, drawing her attention back to me.

"Just watch out from now on!" Hot Puss fumed and stormed off down the stairs while we watched her ass with rapt attention.

"Fuck me Jesus!" Edward muttered as he rubbed his jaw and stared in a stupor at the departing derrière.

Hot Puss was feisty as hell; our little altercation just summed that up. And we wanted her more than ever now. Even after our fun fuck session today with Cherry baby, Bleriana, I was now rock hard and throbbing for Hot Puss! Edward had to take care of me or I was going to self combust.

We went upstairs and showered while he showed me some love. I painted the tiles twice before Edward actually turned the water off and got out. While Edward shaved and brushed his teeth, I checked myself out. I swear, I had to be the most handsome dick in the world. I was long, thick, a shower and a grower, and wasn't too veiny, a trait that made other dicks look like they had been taking roids or something.

Now me, I only had the thick vein on the underside, and a few smaller ones like rural routes sporadically venturing out into the countryside that was my shaft. My head, now it was impressive. Large, domed, and a delicious purplish color. I didn't curve to the right or left, or even up. I stuck straight out to where if Edward was lying on his back, I was his flagpole, his mast to hold his sails.

I was pretty much perfect. Yep, that summed it up, I was the perfect cock. And one day soon I would nestle myself in the most perfect pussy known to man, Hot Puss herself…

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**So, first he pops a cherry then he runs into Hot Puss! His day was made. What do you think of Bella's reaction to them? Or how about the cherry popping? What about Rod's self appraisal? Reviews are better than a Rod ram and he stands at attention and salutes each and every one of them that come in. FLUV YOU ALL! Until next time...**


	5. Chapter 5 Aiding the Assistant

**So, here is the next chapter of COUP. This one goes out to DebbieCDC from here, Twitter, and The Cold Shower. I hope you all enjoy it. **

**Thanks go to preciousfairymom80 who beta'd this through a difficutl family time.**

**I don't own Twilight but I do own the Peen POV!**

**Longer note at the bottom. Please read.**

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The COUP Chapter 5

_Previously:_

_We went upstairs and showered while he showed me some love. I painted the tiles twice before Edward actually turned the water off and got out. While Edward shaved and brushed his teeth, I checked myself out. I swear, I had to be the most handsome dick in the world. I was long, thick, a shower and a grower, and wasn't too veiny, a trait that made other dicks look like they had been taking roids or something. _

_Now me, I only had the thick vein on the underside, and a few smaller ones like rural routes sporadically venturing out into the countryside that was my shaft. My head, now it was impressive. Large, domed, and a delicious purplish color. I didn't curve to the right or left, or even up. I stuck straight out to where if Edward was lying on his back, I was his flagpole, his mast to hold his sails. _

_I was pretty much perfect. Yep, that summed it up, I was the perfect cock. And one day soon I would nestle myself in the most perfect pussy known to man, Hot Puss herself…_

As always: Peen POV

Work, play, work, play... That was how the next three weeks went by. I ended up filming a few more scenes with Stephanie. Man, her Steph Jobs were better than any blow job I had ever had. I also found out that Volturi Videos was impressed with Bleriana's performance with me and they had offered her an exclusive contract. Details were still being worked out with it, but I held onto the hope that I'd get to bury myself in her delicious puss again.

But, the normal puss parade with Volturi Videos might have to wait for a while. Edward found out that another studio was interested in borrowing me, and Edward too, for a few videos in one of their BDSM series. Maybe they can make me a little riding crop that I can use to spank the bean. OOO, and some clit cuffs too. Those would be fucking awesome. But, I don't have the hands to put them on so maybe not. But I digress.

Today, we were headed down to an attorney's office to pick up some papers about the proposed contract. This one was different than before with Cherry, because another company wanted sole distribution rights and everything. Edward made sure that we got a percentage of the sales at Volturi Videos because of my famous body of work. I brought them a shit ton of money and we reaped the benefits too.

We found ourselves at Wilson, Martin, and Scott Law Offices and headed inside. Edward was meeting up with our attorney, Garrett Martin, to pick up the contract that Cold Shower Studios had sent over for my perusing. Garrett had already looked it over to make sure it was up to specs, and Edward just had to pick it up.

When Edward got off the elevator, Giana, the receptionist, told Garrett that we were here to see him. He walked out a few minutes later and took us back to his office to discuss everything.

I slept through most of the conversation, bored out of my mind with the legal jargon. Oh hell, who was I kidding, anything that didn't involve puss, and me getting in it, was boring to me. I was a total whore and not afraid to admit it. I also had a one track mind. I was really just biding my time until Garrett's paralegal, Heidi, would come in.

It was not a secret that I frequently violated Garrett's paralegals and assistants; I was easy and proud of it. They never complained about it either. And each time there was a fresh puss hired, I seduced the panties right off of her. I just had to whip out one of my patented thrusts and the puss was done for. I was that damn good, and yes, I can admit that I'm cocky, pun totally intended. Anyways, I was waiting for Heidi to walk in and take us to the copy room for my documents, but she never came.

Instead, this petite little vixen walked in and I stood up and saluted her. She was fuck hot! I drank in her figure as she spoke with Garrett and Edward. I couldn't care less what she was saying as long as she would say yes. But I did stare at her lips and imagined them wrapping around me as I fucked her face. Oh how I wanted to bury myself in her throat. But, that mouth wasn't the only great asset on this puss.

I looked her up and down, making Edward shift some from my current state, but I didn't give a fuck. I wanted this new puss. It was initiation time! She needed to learn that what Rod wanted, Rod got, and right now, Rod wanted her puss.

I hadn't been paying attention when Garrett introduced her so I listened in and found out her name was Debbie. Well, ever heard of Debbie Does Dallas? Fuck that shit! We were going to blow it out of the water with Debbie Does Rod.

I jumped for joy when Edward got up and began to follow Debbie down the hall that we had traversed before. I openly ogled Debbie's bod, drinking in her black kitten heels, her skinny black pants that looked to be designer. She was in a blood red sweater and I could have sworn I saw a black lacy bra peeking at me when she bent over. And the way she was swaying that apple bottom at me was purely evil. I think even Edward uttered an oath to the perfection of that ass.

I had to force myself to look away from the swaying cheeks and check her out again. She was so fair skinned she could have glowed in the dark, but it suited her. Her eyes were a soft medium brown, and her hair was shoulder length, brown with blonde highlights. All in all, a damn fine package that I was begging to unwrap.

Debbie led Edward to the copy room and I pointed the way like a shining beacon of sex. I didn't care if anyone saw me tenting the pants, I wanted the puss in front of me and I was drooling thinking about it.

Edward played it cool for a few minutes as we waited for some other puss to finish up in there. The whole time we waited for the room to empty out, there was gratuitous eye fucking going on between Edward and Debbie, apparently she wanted him just as bad as we wanted her. Well, I'd convert her to loving on Rod instead of Edward just as soon as the all clear sounded.

Almost immediately after the other puss exited the room, I was brushing up against the small of her back. This tiny little sex kitten didn't know what was about to fuck her. Edward began the short process of wooing her into submission while I practically molested her ass, hips, and lower back. I could hear her puss calling for me, begging for the intrusion that I wanted to deliver, but it seemed that Debbie was trying to hold out on us. _Oh honey, you don't stand a chance against Rod_.

Edward was pressed fully up against her, whispering sinister things to her that made her entire body quake. That was the signal that we were about to hit a home run. The pitch was thrown when Edward ran his lips across her neck, and I smacked that ball and sent it flying over the fence when I twitched up against her, causing her to moan out.

Debbie and her puss were completely flustered and I knew we were solid with this. She fumbled with a few buttons on the copy machine then motioned for us to follow her. I knew right where we were going, too...the 'Quiet Room,' also known as the 'Quickie Room.' I'd been in there multiple times, branding it with my baby batter on many occasions.

Once the door was shut and locked by Edward, Debbie was done for. She had backed into the room, still acting a bit timid, but Edward and I stalked forth and practically pounced on our prey. Edward's lips captured Debbie's and silenced her moan as his hands began to flit over her flesh.

I was pushing against the button fly of Edward's jeans, begging to be unsheathed, but Edward busied himself with Debbie's clothes first. Her sweater was pulled up quickly and discarded on the couch, revealing the black lacy pushup bra I had suspected underneath. The full C cup cleavage was calling for me to come cuddle, but I had another place in mind that I wanted to get warm in.

The bra came off next and Edward's mouth fought to claim the nipples. Debbie was just a bit short, though, so he grabbed her by the ass and hoisted her up until she was standing on the couch, her heels falling off in the process.

I had caught sight of her puss when she was lifted and was about to drop to my nonexistent knees and beg for something, anything... The urge to beg became worse when Edward made quick work of the pants, dropping them down the ivory legs for Debbie to step out of. All she was left in was her matching thong.

_Oh god Edward, come on and let me play with the puss! You are being fucking stingy up there! I'll go on strike! I swear I will. I'll get soft...somehow... Fuck! Come on, Edward! _

I was literally about to scream in frustration of being ignored when Debbie's hands sank down and began to work the buttons of the jeans. _Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the almighty peen gods! _

The buttons flew open from the combined effort of Debbie and me. Once I was out, I was being covered back up, this time by Debbie's hands. _Ah, yes, that's right, that's it...stroke me baby, squeeze a bit tighter, mmm yeah, some twist action too._

Damn, her hands were talented. But, I wanted to experience another part of Debbie, and quick. Her puss was there, teasing me with its glorious scent, calling for me with the tangy juices. _Come on Debbie, open that hungry little mouth for me, swallow me whole if you can._

Edward, at this point, reached into his pants pocket and quickly bit open my wetsuit wrapper, covered me to my feet, picked her up and spun around, pressing her up against the door of the cozy little room. Debbie's legs wrapped around Edward's waist and he reached down to shift the panties aside. Oh yeah, oh yeah! If I could, I'd be doing the cabbage patch dance at this point, because Debbie's puss was being lowered towards my ready and rigid form.

The moment her lips parted and puss began to swallow me, I stood up and cheered, giving Edward a standing ovation for scoring this puss. Lower and lower Debbie sank until she had me fully sheathed by her groomed puss.

I sure did love them groomed, too. It saved me from grabbing a machete and hacking my way through the Pube Jungle in search of the lagoon of love that I desired. It'd be a new hit blockbuster, Indiana Peen and the Jungle of Pubes, which was the sequel to Raiders of the Lost Arse. Those would be followed by Indiana Peen and the Last Thrust Made. Many years later Indiana Peen and the Kingdom of the Cumming Core would round out the series. I could picture me now, hat on my head, leather satchel slung around my shaft, and the whip... Oh the things I would do to the jungle puss's of the world. But back to the pretty puss around me.

In, out, in, out, in, out... Edward rocked his hips against Debbie's pelvis as I greeted her cervix with every thrust. One of these days I was going to have to invest in a helmet of sorts with all the head banging I was doing against cervixes. But I sure did love the action.

In, out, in, out, in, out...

The door was bouncing against the motion of Debbie's sweet ass banging against it. I hope like fuck that no one had their ear pressed to the other side of the door. But, then again, Debbie sure was screaming loud enough for all to hear...I think.

But fuck if she wasn't screaming the wrong name! She was screaming out Edward instead of Rod! Fuck that shit! I was going to make her walk bow legged for the rest of her life if I had to, just to get her to remember my name.

_Rod Pattinhead, bitch, Rod Pattinhead! _I bounced off her cervix repeatedly, trying to angle myself for the G-spot of golden orgasms.

_Say my name, Puss! Say it!_ I screamed at the cooch as I penetrated her for all she was worth.

"Oh, oh, oh, OH!" Debbie screamed out again as her walls choked me to near death.

"Fuck yeah, unf, god, so tight," Edward muttered incoherently as his hips began to convulse in spastic patterns, making me bounce around inside Deb's puss like it was a bounce house or something.

His gyrating gestures caused me to get motion sickness and I felt the milky bile rising up my throat. _Oh god, here it comes, I'm going to spooge all over myself._ I felt the hot, goopy spurts flow out of me as they temporarily blinded me, filling my wetsuit to the brim.

Edward had frozen for a moment, but slowly began to slide out of Debbie as he helped her sit on the couch. After disposing of my wetsuit and cleaning me up with a few tissues, Edward quickly dressed as Debbie still sat there, dazed and panting.

When we were fully dressed, Edward leaned down and placed a kiss on Debbie's cheek before whispering in her ear.

"Next time, I want to see you in a skirt with no panties," Edward murmured and Debbie shivered with chills. Yep, we're that damn good, and cocky!

Edward chuckled as I settled in for a nap. I was damn tired! Debbie's puss provided me with an aerobic workout. Now it was sleepy time.

Edward left the 'Quiet Room' and snatched up his copies from the machine in the next room before waving at Garrett on his way out. As we made our way to the car, Edward's phone vibrated with a text. He pulled it out and it was from Garrett.

_Garrett: Next time can you leave her able to walk? Lmao_

_Edward: I like to be thorough._

Edward shot back the quick reply, and then pocketed his phone before climbing in the car and heading back to the apartment.

We entered and Edward checked the mail before climbing the stairs to our apartment. As we passed Hot Puss's door, we involuntarily slowed to listen in. It was something stalkerish we had picked up on, but hey, that was a puss we both desired like water in the desert.

The sounds of an argument rang out from the other side of Hot Puss's door, making Edward stop and listen. We apparently stayed outside the door too long, because it flew open and a hulking man stepped out. He was about six-foot-five or something and looked like he was Native American. Hot Puss stormed out after him, screaming the entire way.

"Get the fuck out, you pathetic fuck! You're nothing but a lousy dog, fucking anything that will bend over! Stay the fuck away from me because I don't want your fucking fleas!" Bella screamed at him before turning back to her door. That's when she spotted us.

I didn't notice her scowl at first because I was ready to don the flak jacket and helmet and charge into battle, guns-a-blazin' and beat the fuck ass that she was just screaming at. But, when I noticed the fire in her eyes slowly shifting towards us, I definitely pulled out the helmet and gear and bunkered down, awaiting the fallout.

_Take cover! Batten down the hatches! Hot Puss has escaped and all hell is about to break loose! Run for your lives! Every peen for himself!_

But the fallout didn't come, and the nuclear warheads that had been pointed directly at me, making me pray for dear life, had been put away. Hot Puss's expression shifted from one of hostility, to one of pain and she ran into her apartment and slammed the door.

We were left in a kind of 'huh?' state and headed upstairs, completely disregarding the mail as Edward flung it onto the counter. He went and started the shower, meticulous about keeping me clean. I knew Deb's puss was top notch, but still, can't be too careful, and I was somewhat sticky with my own goop.

It actually felt like I had covered myself in a thin layer of Elmer's or something and waited for it to dry. Now, I was to fucking afraid to peel that shit off. It'd probably be like removing a Band-Aid or something, painful as fuck! I'd rather take another bath instead. Besides, I rather preferred keeping all of my skin intact.

So, off to the shower we went, and Edward didn't disappoint with my spa day. I felt like he had placed a cucumber slice over my eye, put that green pea soup looking mask on my face to keep it youthful looking, and then given me a mani and pedi or some shit. He seriously pampered me to the point of breaking out the conditioner to make me feel silky smooth. Ahhh, it was like being a virginal peen all over again. Smooth and untouched by the masses. But, after having experienced said masses, I think I'd rather stay a slut.

Edward dried us off and threw on a pair of shorts before retrieving a beer and the mail. After looking it over, he checked the messages on the answering machine as he grabbed another beer.

That beer never made it to his lips, shattering on the floor around our feet as he listened to the third message on the machine.

It appeared that our cougar, the wonderful woman that had shown us, and me, the way to be the best we could be, the woman who trained me to be the most perfectly performing peen in the world, had passed. It was a sad, sad day...

* * *

**So, as some of you heard, and others did not, one of our own, Uber Vamp, passed away. She was only 23. She was a dear friend through The Cold Shower, Twitter, Tumblr, and general chatting. She is dearly missed. I had promised her a chapter of COUP to feature her, but was unable to grant her desires before she left us all too soon. The next chapter of COUP will be an In Memoriam chapter for her. The wonderful Stefter was able to acquire a photograph of our beautiful Uber Vamp, aka Aini, so I can make sure I pay tribute to her properly. The chapter will be started immediately and will hopefully be up soon. Also, on February 23, 2011, at 1am EST, a moment of silence will be held for Aini. That is the time that her service will be held (2pm Malaysia time). Please say a kind word, participate if you can, or just remember the legacy of a wonderful, beautiful, bright, and pervy soul that we all knew to be Uber Vamp. Always Remember, Never Forget. RIPuv**


	6. Chapter 6 In Memoriam

**Here is the next COUP chapter. This chapter is in loving memory of a dear friend of the fandom, Uber_Vamp, aka UV, aka Aini. She passed away recently all too young. There are many that miss her throughout the fandom and in her real life. I had spoken with her multiple times before about her getting a COUP chapter, but did not get the chance to write one for her before she left us all too soon. Well, Aini, this one's for you! I hope you are smiling down from RobP0rn heaven, enjoying your time with Edward in this chapter, and with the real Rob as you stalk him from above. Take care sweet Aini! I love you and miss you dearly.**

**Thanks go to preciousfairymom80 who beta'd this amazingly!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters but I do own the Peen POV!**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 6 – In Memoriam

_Previously:_

_Edward dried us off and threw on a pair of shorts before retrieving a beer and the mail. After looking it over, he checked the messages on the answering machine as he grabbed another beer._

_That beer never made it to his lips, shattering on the floor around our feet as he listened to the third message on the machine._

_It appeared that our cougar, the wonderful woman that had shown us, and me, the way to be the best we could be, the woman who trained me to be the most perfectly performing peen in the world, had passed. It was a sad, sad day..._

I couldn't believe it, and neither could Edward. Our beautiful Aini E. Carlton was gone. While we hadn't kept in touch with her as much as we wanted to over the last few years, she was still close to us, closer than most. You see, it was Aini who had shown us the way, Aini who taught me how to keep the stomach contents at bay as long as I wanted or needed – within reason that is, and it was Aini who showed us the skills that we possessed – inside the bedroom.

In fact, it was a bitch from high school that sent us on the path to Aini. This bitch knew how much Edward and I liked her, and she finally gave in one night at a party. I had never touched a puss in my life, and had only seen one on the computer or in a magazine. So, when I finally entered the sweet sanctity that is a puss, I couldn't control myself and ended up a half minute hero. That bitch laughed at us, called us pathetic, and it was Aini who showed us how good we could be, our true potential.

Listening to the message again, Edward jotted down the time, date, and location of the memorial service, then hit the liquor…hard. He drank so much that I was quickly feeling the effects of it too, swinging around sloppily as he stumbled through the apartment. At some point that night, Edward collapsed into bed, squashing me with his hip, and we both passed out.

The next day we headed into the office to sign the contract and everything, completely in a fog and not really listening. Edward and I could have just signed our lives over, but we didn't care. We took care of the next few days at work, arranging them off for the memorial service, then headed home to pack and hit the road. It was a four hour drive to our hometown and I knew that the drive was going to be tough on Edward. I was already having a hard time of it with the flashbacks of the woman who taught me so well...

"_Well, well, well, what have we here?" Aini said as she stalked towards Edward, and I stood straight out in an embarrassing display of our lack of experience._

_I couldn't even disguise my rigid state because, let's face it, I hadn't ever had release other than Edward and a magazine or video. And to see this exotic woman strutting towards us in fuck-me-red pumps and a black dress that left little to the imagination, just made me want to drop to my knees and submit to her for all of eternity. She was the most beautiful woman that Edward or I had ever seen. _

"_Umm…umm…your groceries?" Edward stammered and answered as he held up the bags in his arms. _

_He had taken a job at the local grocery store to earn some extra spending cash in order to take out the object of our desire at school. _

_"Well, sugar, you make sure that you are the one to deliver them next time," Aini said as she looked Edward up and down, finally settling her stare on me as she licked her lips. _

_Edward swallowed at the same time I did, nodded his head as I bounced my acknowledgement of her demand, it was no request. She then paid us and as we turned to leave, she smacked Edward on the ass making him yelp as he scurried out the house, me still tenting his pants like a Coleman advertisement. _

Remembering Aini made me start to tear up again, and Edward did too, trying to disguise it as the vents blowing in his face. Men could cry, Aini taught us that. She helped us see that it was ok to experience emotions and that strong emotions could turn into something better, something more. It was six weeks after we had started delivering her groceries that she taught us that.

_Edward knocked on the door and I was already trying to disguise myself, embarrassingly half-masted at the knowledge of who we were delivering to. But, Edward's mind was elsewhere. On our way out of the store we had seen _her._ Edward was pissed at the humiliation she had put us through and that anger had turned into near tears as she laughed at us publicly. It was all my fault that Edward had to experience it, I was inadequate, a pathetic penis that couldn't hold it together for longer than a minute. I had let Edward down._

_When Aini opened the door she could tell something was wrong just by looking at Edward's red rimmed eyes. She brought us in and took the groceries before getting Edward a Coke and having him sit down on the couch. _

_When she snuggled up beside us I couldn't help but get a little stiffer. Edward scowled at me and then shifted slightly trying to cover me up, but Aini wouldn't allow it, taking his hand away and holding it between hers. I even felt the shock from her touch as the hairs on my brothers stood on end._

_After a bit of coaxing, she got the story out of Edward as he cried through it, reliving the humiliation of that night, the night I had let him down, the night we both lost our virginities._

_Aini tried to assure him that it was normal, that all guys experienced it, and that the bitch was just that, a bitch, but Edward was adamant that there was something wrong with me. Aini laughed lightly then offered him a deal, of sorts that is. _

_When that deal was offered, Edward was shocked while I was elated. Edward jumped up and ran out of the house, embarrassed and overwhelmed. He was so out of it that he forgot to collect payment and Mr. Newton, who ran the store, sent him back. _

_Red faced and unwilling, Edward returned to Aini's house and debated her deal the entire way. What she had offered was to train us, show us how to last longer and how to please a woman the right way so that she wouldn't care if we only lasted a few minutes. To women, she had explained, the foreplay can be better than the actual act of sex, as long as the man knew what he was doing. _

_Edward got back to her house and knocked, she opened the door and handed us the money, knowing why we were there. Edward didn't leave right away, instead standing there contemplating her offer. Finally, he looked up at her and accepted it. _

_She told us to come back on Saturday and we would start the training. We left, and I wasn't sure about Edward, but I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. Someone was going to train me to be the best peen I could be..._

Edward pulled the car over and stopped at a gas station. We were already over halfway there and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach knowing what was going to take place tomorrow. I wasn't sure if Edward was feeling the same way, but I knew I was going to have a hard time at the service. I laid snug in Edward's pants as he filled up the car and got a few snacks before hitting the road again. As the car started moving, I went back to my dream state and kept thinking of Aini...

_It was the first day of our training sessions, as Edward had begun referring to them. I was so nervous I felt like I was going to just throw up all over myself. I hoped I could hold my shit together, but after our first time, that hope held very little hope, if you know what I mean. _

_Edward had spruced himself up, not knowing what to really do to prepare, and we headed over. Edward hesitated knocking on the door, but finally did. When Aini opened it and smiled at us in her seductive way, I swear I blushed and batted my eyelashes at her. Then I swallowed down the nervousness and nausea and prayed that I could last and make Edward proud of me._

_Aini led us inside and told us to make ourselves comfortable in the living room while she grabbed something for us to drink. The glass of Coke she brought Edward wasn't just Coke, I could taste the strong hints of Jack mixed in there with it. When Edward gave her a knowing look she just shrugged her shoulders._

_"I just want you to relax and enjoy yourself. You won't feel comfortable if you're all tense like you are now. Just drink and relax and we'll see what happens," Aini said as she drank her own Coke, most likely with Jack as well._

_Edward sipped his a few more times before turning the glass up and emptying it of the liquid courage. Aini smiled at Edward as she slowly reached her hand over and placed it on his thigh. I swallowed audibly at her close proximity to me. Oh shit, oh shit, I feel the nausea already. Hold it together, hold it together!_

_Aini set her glass down and took Edward's, also putting it on the coffee table, before she turned and leaned up against him. Edward shifted away some but she pulled him back._

_"Now now, don't be shy," she purred as she cupped his face and turned it towards her. _

_Edward was panting as she licked her pouty lips then inched them closer and closer to his. I was continuously getting harder and higher by the moment and could tell I was going to disappoint him, but it would be after the heavenly body of Aini had touched me, I could live with that. _

_She inched forward enough for her lips to press against his very hesitant and inexperienced ones. He tried to kiss back but didn't know what he was doing, so he tried to pull back. Aini wasn't having that and gripped a handful of his hair, pulling his mouth back to hers as she dominated him. She moved slowly, demonstrating silently with her tongue and lips, adding in moans of approval when he began to learn and follow her lead with the kiss. _

_As the kiss continued, it became more heated. Aini reached for Edward's hands and brought one to her hip and the other to her neck, teaching him with her touch and placement. Edward eagerly followed her silent commands, staying silent himself until her hand found me..._

"Dammit!" Edward growled as he adjusted my now rigid torso in his pants. "Now is so not the time for this. Can't you be a good dick and just lay there?"

I shied back a bit bashful at putting him into a predicament, when I realized where we were...we were home and Edward was pulling up to the only hotel in town run by Mrs. Cope. He got me tucked away in the waistband of his boxers and then headed inside to grab a room. We would have stayed with his parents, but they moved away when Edward had finished college, eager to get out of the tiny little pissant town and travel the world, or at least the United States.

Edward wasn't surprised to find that Old Mrs. Cope still ran the craptastic little motel, and she certainly remembered us, even calling us by name. Edward made short, polite conversation then quickly got the key and ran from the office, eager to get away. We headed to our room on the other side of the parking lot and got settled inside.

Edward packed away the few things we brought, making sure to hang up the suit for tomorrow so that no wrinkles would set in. After flipping through only about thirty channels of nothingness, Edward ended up taking a short nap, allowing me to continue dreaming of Aini...

_Aini had somehow unzipped and unbuttoned Edward's jeans, reached inside his boxers, and found me without either of us realizing it until she had me in her grasp. I started praying to every god known to man, woman, religion, and entity, hoping against hope that I wouldn't make a fool out of myself in thirty-seven-point-two seconds. _

_FUCKSHITMOTHERFUCKER! I screamed while Edward grunted pitifully and then turned redder than his hair, which was pretty damn red. I had done it; I had lost control of my purging desires and spilled the seeds, literally, all over Aini's hand. _

_Edward began pulling at his clothes, trying to get out of there but Aini stopped him as I began to shrink and hide in the folds of the pants, embarrassed beyond belief that I had let him down once again. _

_"Edward, Edward calm down. It's ok..." Aini tried to tell him but he wasn't listening. He stood up and went towards the front door but she stopped him. I stayed hidden in Edward's boxers, afraid that he was going to hate me now._

_"It's not ok!" Edward screamed. "Are you going to laugh at me too, now? Are you going to tell me I'm pathetic and worthless?" _

_"I'm not _her_ and I won't say any of that because you aren't those things. You just haven't got the experience. That's what I want to give you, experience, and..." Aini trailed off._

_"And what?" Edward asked, his anger and pain rolling off of him in waves._

_"And I knew that you would go quickly. That was part of my lesson for today." Aini looked him dead in the eyes ,watching the realization hit._

_"You...you...you _knew_ that it would happen?" _

_"Yes, now, if you'll come back into the living room with me, I'll explain more."_

_Edward sighed heavily, his anger fading quick, then nodded and went back to the couch._

_"Now, Edward, I did that because you haven't felt the touch before, really. You need to know what it feels like right before you cum so that you know when to change up, when to do something different or change your pace so that you can prolong the experience. But, if you do happen to go quickly, you have to be able to get it back if you want to go on. Some men never last more than a few minutes at a time but are able to get hard repeatedly so it doesn't matter. Other men only cum once but can stay hard for at least an hour. Do you get what I'm saying?" Edward nodded that he did and Aini smiled at him, taking his hand and placing it on her thigh right below her skirt edge. "Now, lesson two for today, get back up for me, I'm not done with you yet!" _

_The look in Aini's eyes was commanding and reverberated through Edward and down to my head. She was like a beacon, calling for me to rise for her. Had she had a medieval castle and I had rods in my neck, I would have said that she was Dr. Frankenstein and I was her monster she was trying to raise. _

_"Get hard for me, Edward," Aini purred as she pulled his lips back to hers before grabbing the hand on her thigh and moving it north..._

Edward woke from his nap of sorts and looked at the clock, it was eleven at night. He groaned as he tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes, then reached down to scratch my brothers and found me, standing tall as a lighthouse shining a light to guide the ladies home.

"Fuck! Don't you know what a day off is? You're such a whore!" Edward yelled at me as he threw back the covers and headed for the shower.

_A day off? What's that, Edward? You helped condition me to want to play with puss all the time. If anyone's a whore it's you! _I shot back at him as he adjusted the shower, trying to get optimal water temperature and pressure; that shit didn't happen.

We settled for a lukewarm shower with weak water while he choked me until I purged. Finally clean and relieved, Edward's stomach began to growl, so he threw on some clothes and we headed to the only place to eat this late...the diner.

Thankfully, it was mostly empty at this hour, except for the night shift and the one man at the counter drinking his coffee and smoking a cigarette. He was a permanent fixture for the diner, even sitting at that same stool when Edward was in high school.

He ordered easily - patty melt plate with no onions, hash browns with ham and cheese, and a coke - then we paid, got back into the car, and drove down the road. Instead of going back to the hotel, we found ourselves on her street, parked outside of her house, the house where so much had happened in our youth, the house where we learned the art of pleasure...

_I had done the impossible, gotten hard for Aini again, and she rewarded Edward, instead of me, by letting his hand slip between her thighs, his fingers tasting her sweet center. That should have been _my _treat, dammit! _

_Edward moaned as his fingers slipped into the wetness and I whined wishing it was me. I had had one taste of puss and I wanted more. Aini had to let me in, she just had to!_

_Aini placed her hand over Edward's and guided it around her apex, telling him what everything was, where the pleasure points were, how to evoke the moans he would forever yearn. He caught on quickly, too, bringing her to ecstasy as he watched with rapt attention. _

_"Very good, yes, Edward, you are going to be great at this," Aini purred as she came down from her peak. "Now, time for you to learn another valuable lesson," Aini said as she stood from the couch and kneeled between his legs, her face mere inches from me. _

_Oh boy! Happy peen! I'm going to get something now!_

_Aini began to undo his pants to release me and pulled him forward on the couch. Edward's eyes were wide with anticipation while I was grinning like the fucking Cheshire cat. Edward's eyes literally rolled back in his head as a guttural moan released from his throat when her mouth descended over me. I thought that a puss felt good, but the mouth was deliciously wonderful all on its own._

_Aini slowly licked her way down me then sucked her way up. I was so lost in the feelings that I didn't notice the rise in my stomach. Aini's hand was gripping my brothers and she abruptly stopped when the feeling to spew was almost uncontrollable. _

_Edward practically glared at her for stopping and I was tempted to stab her in the eye or something for not continuing. That desire increased ten-fold when she got up and casually walked into the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of wine as she leaned leisurely against the counter. Edward's mouth was open in disbelief as she all but ignored him _and_ me in our current state of desire. _

_After a few minutes, Edward went to put me away but Aini's glare stopped him cold. _

_"Did I say for you to get dressed?" she asked in a manner that was practically lethal._

_"N...n...no?" Edward stuttered._

_"Then back the way I had you, and stay hard!"_

_Edward did as she said, and a few minutes later she was back in front of us, on her knees once more, her mouth making its way to me again. The previous desire to lose myself had disappeared and she started again, sucking, licking, and even nibbling, which was scary as fuck. Teeth meant biting which meant pain, but hers were like gentle scrapes, evoking pleasures unknown to me. _

_After a few minutes more, the feeling to purge started to come on again, and Aini stepped back once more, this time going to unload her dishwasher. _

_Light bulb! Ahhhh! I get it! She's getting us almost there, then stopping to teach us how to prolong! Ok, so now, I had to stop myself to make her happy. I was going to have to think of dead puppies or manly swamp ass or something to keep the reflux at bay next time._

_When the next time came, I disappointed myself with being unable to keep it away. Again, Aini stepped away from us, offering Edward a drink as she fixed herself one. This pattern continued for the better part of an hour. I was practically exhausted, but had made it to almost ten minutes before the urge came on. _

_Finally, after practically torturing me and Edward, Aini didn't stop one time, letting me empty my contents into her stomach. Edward had tried to pull her away, get her off of me before he came, but she gripped his wrists as she continued sucking until I came and he almost screamed out from finally being allowed to release._

_Aini swallowed it all, actually smiling through it as she squeezed me tight with her tongue and mouth, milking me thoroughly. As she stood up and headed towards the kitchen, she looked back over her shoulder at Edward and me in my softened state. "Now you can get dressed."_

Edward had been stroking me through his jeans as I remembered that first day. We were still sitting outside of her house, looking up at it and remembering all that had happened there...all the things we had learned.

The door suddenly opened and a head poked out, looking directly at us in the car. Edward dropped me and took off quickly, embarrassed at being caught and worried about being thought a threat. There would have been no way that we would ever bring harm to Aini, her things, or her family. She meant too much to us.

We headed back to the motel and passed out quickly. But, my dreams got the better of me and I started to remember the last time I had had the pleasure of pleasuring my sweet Aini...

_We had been training with Aini for almost two months, and my appetite for her was insatiable. I had succeeded in bringing her to ecstasy time and time again, amazing her with how quickly I caught on. Edward was doing good too. _

_Over the time she had been training us, we both started to develop feelings for her. Mine were of adoration and admiration and love of a sort; but Edward had fallen for her, he truly did love her, I think. He was also bound and determined to show her how much he loved her._

_We arrived for our weekly session that had begun to last all day long; going multiple rounds in a day, and started right away the moment the front door had closed. Aini was taken aback at first, but quickly got into it as Edward practically made love to her mouth with his tongue. He moved her up the stairs to her bedroom, where the lessons had moved to, and began to undress her, slowly taking his time and worshipping her body. He wanted to show her how much we had learned, show her the pleasure she had shown us time and time again._

_Once she was fully undressed and laid back on the bed, Edward started at her feet and ankles, kissing and caressing them. He moved up her calves, slowly massaging them until he reached the back of her knees, focusing on them as she mewled in pleasure. _

_After her knees, Edward moved to her thighs, kissing up to the crest of her center before moving over to one hip and working north as he made a circuit around her body, worshipping her shoulders, neck, breast, stomach, and other hip, before he brought his lips to her core, parting her folds with his tongue. Aini's back arched as she was overcome with pleasure. Edward moved his tongue and mouth with an expertise that she had taught him, showing her all the tricks she had him learn. When he brought one hand up, she fell over the ledge, freefalling into an orgasmic abyss as her body convulsed with almost painful pleasure._

_She was panting when Edward sat up on his knees and wiped her off of his face before crawling up towards hers. After covering me with a wetsuit, he positioned me between her legs, directly in front of her dripping slit. I was eagerly awaiting the initial plunge, the first feel of puss engulfing me. Each time I first entered her it was heavenly, a tightness surrounding me that was delicious. _

_Edward looked deep into Aini's eyes as he slowly slid me home, pushing me into the safe harbor of her grotto. I wanted to sing out, to praise all that was heavenly, but the feeling was too erotic to even speak. This time was different; I could feel it instantly and knew Aini could too. _

_Edward slowly rocked me in and out of AIni, taking his time as he brought her wave after wave of release. Each time I would feel like purging Edward would stop the motion, letting me rest inside of her while he kissed, licked, and nipped at her flesh. _

_When he finally let me go, _finally _let me feel the joy and relief of the purge, he placed his lips next to Aini's ear and whispered the end of our time together. _

_"I love you, Aini," Edward said in a hushed tone just after both he and she had come down._

_Aini froze while I was still inside of her. It was like her core turned to ice when the words were spoken._

_"No... No! NO! You can't! You don't get to say that!" Aini began to shout as she pushed Edward and I off of her and began throwing her clothes on. _

_"Why not? Because I'm just a kid? Is that why?" Edward yelled back as Aini paced the room and I hung helpless between his legs, still wearing my saggy and full wetsuit._

_"Yes! That's exactly why! I'm too old for you, Edward. This was all about me teaching you, about you learning, nothing more was ever to come of it!" _

_"But more did come of it and I fell in love with you!"_

_"No, Edward, you didn't. Trust me please. You don't love me, you love what I have shown you, you love the time we have spent together, and while you may really like me, you don't love me. Please believe me, Edward. Please listen to me. We aren't right for each other. We wouldn't work out. Please listen and understand," Aini begged. _

_"But I don't understand!" Edward countered and Aini stepped forward, grabbing his hands, looking into his eyes with her pleading ones._

_"Edward, I can't be with you like that. It's not right."_

_"It is right if we love each other. You...you love me too...right?" Edward asked, the intensity from before gone, replaced by the fear of rejection._

_"Yes, but not in that way. I'll always have a love for you, I'll always remember our time together, but we can't do this anymore. Just, have me as a friend?" Aini's eyes were pleading with him, begging him to accept the offer of just friends._

_He held her stare for a full minute, trying to show her the intensity of his feelings with his own eyes, but failed. He finally sighed, resigned to the fact that a friendship would be all he would ever have from her._

_"Ok..." Edward said softly. _

_Aini smiled at him, wiped away the tears she had shed throughout the conversation, kissed him softly on the cheek, and added a lingering kiss to her favorite moll on his neck before disappearing out the door. Edward quickly cleaned up and got dressed, then went in search of her. She wasn't in the house. Edward left, feeling the loss of their 'relationship' and went home to cry alone. _

_The next week Aini cancelled her grocery deliveries, opting to shop for herself when Edward was off instead. The game of cat and mouse between them continued as he kept dreaming of her and using me to beat out the frustration and desire. I wasn't complaining, I missed her too, but I was getting tired of the abuse and missed the puss._

_Finally, Edward had to switch shifts one week and caught her shopping. After begging her to talk to him, she told him to come over after he was off. He finished his shift with a hop in his step, then headed to her place._

_She was waiting for him and the first thing he did was hug her, breathing in the scent he had missed. I stood up to greet her too, poking her in the stomach and making Edward blush. _

_She had us sit on the couch, but not too close, and waited for Edward to begin. When he did, he begged again for her to reconsider the offer. She declined again and made him remember something, the reason for learning what she had taught us._

_Aini assured Edward that they could still talk, still communicate, and everything, but that any future lessons would not happen. He had learned all he could and now he had to continue on. She told him that he was young and would move on and she would always be there for him, but only as a friend. _

_After a few tears, a lot of laughs, and a bunch of hugs, Edward and Aini parted ways as friends..._

Edward woke to his cell phone alarm buzzing at him. After slowly crawling out of bed and showering, he put me away in boxers after making me promise to behave, then got dressed in his suit and headed across town for the memorial service for Aini.

The service was mainly family and close friends, with the few exceptions like me. I discovered that Aini had been cremated, her urn sitting on the altar in the front of the room.

Edward took a seat in the very back, trying to remain inconspicuous so that no one would ask him how he knew Aini. What would he say? That he met her delivering her groceries thirteen years ago and she trained him how to fuck? Yeah, that so wouldn't go over well.

Music was playing softly as more and more people arrived, filling the small room. There were pictures of Aini throughout stages in her life, including when we knew her. She was so beautiful, as was her soul, and had been taken all too soon.

I stayed down, respectful of Aini, and let Edward and I feel the emotions of the situation, let us remember Aini not from the bedroom. A person that looked very similar to Aini stepped up to the front and introduced herself as Aini's cousin, Mila.

She began to talk about Aini's life and accomplishments. She told everyone about how sweet and kind Aini was, how she loved her life, family, and friends. Each of us there already knew all of this; we had each been blessed with knowing Aini and knowing firsthand how wonderful she was.

Edward couldn't stop the tears that flowed down his face as he listened to the words spoken about her, our first love. We truly had loved her; we just never let her know that after the disastrous results of telling her the first time. It was more than just the sex that had caused us to fall, it was the way she treated us and made us feel with the clothing on.

Mila kept talking about Aini and then she made us all puzzled when she started talking about her internet alter egos, Uber Vamp and UV. Apparently Aini had a thing for a teenage vampire drama series and the leading actor, Robert something or another.

Mila told us about how Aini had an entire network of family and friends online who she had spoken to daily, talking and laughing with, carrying on to the wee hours of the morning. Edward smiled at this tacit of information, picturing Aini curled up at the computer at three in the morning gushing over a boy that could probably rival the age difference she and Edward had shared. I was a bit jealous that she obsessed over another peen, but he was a celebrity and she probably had no chance of ever meeting him. Take that celebrapeen! I got her puss but you didn't!

We all sat there in disbelief as Mila began to read out the outpouring of love from Aini's online family…

_Bler: We love you baby. We'll miss you. Always._

_Robstruk: You're dearly missed here..& undoubtedly smiling down from Robp0rn Heaven.. God Bless You Uber_Vamp_

_xJustxRenax: While I didn't know her, from all the love outpouring I can tell she was very special. R.I.P Uber_Vamp_

_MyRobAddiction: We will miss you!_

_Fearlessmore: love you, miss you…_

_stephanieS74: Sweet baby girl, you can sleep now our angel but rest assured you will be with us every single day! We love you 3_

_MrsKassieCullen: You will be missed_

_17foreverlisa: You knew I loved Beanie Rob. I will miss you always. Be at peace._

_stephanieS74: Saying goodbye to a friend is never easy but I'm glad we all did it together, luv u all! Watch over us bb_

_Amandakmelby: We love you baby girl. We'll miss you always. 3_

_EdgeOf_Desire: RIP dear DOL. :'( Miss you bb! *Paul Weller – You do something to me*_

_genevieve35: My dear angel, Aini… I miss you so much, but I know you're watching us with your warm embrace wrapped around us_

_Mrs. P: The comments and the video are amazing…and we do have our angel now. She popped into my life unexpectedly and left me so freaking quickly, I can't stop hurting over it. UV…please watch over us all._

_Crystal: I will continue to keep her family in my thoughts and prayers. Beautiful Video. Very fitting for her, I think._

_smmiskimen : You are forever with us, our TCS Angel. We love you and will miss you always. _

_Shay: UV I will always think of you when I notice all of Rob's moles and pics of him in the beanie because you always posted them for me. Love you always._

_Clpsuperstar: These words came to me as I was reading this week's post (loved the tidbit about the mole). UV was what I'd call a superfan, and an even better person in general. I wanted to do a little something to express my sadness over her loss, and writing is all I know. So, I'm just going to say thank you to her with this:_

_Something pulls at her, beckons her to breathe. But the breaths, they do not come. Eyes remain closed. Limbs remain unmoving. Heart remains still._

_Sleep overcomes her. Beauty lies peacefully, encased in tranquility._

_She rests. Not for an eternity, but until her journey is complete._

_She is weightless, body floating with no push or pull. As if she is being carried upon wings._

_She falls, landing upon billowy clouds that cradle her, keep her safe. All is perfect here._

_Behind closed lids, she senses the light. She is compelled to see, but she dares not._

_Her life on Earth has ended, but the circle is not yet complete. A new one begins. She can feel it. She can smell it. Just within reach. She needs only to take it within her._

_Finally, her rosebud lips part and pure air seeps into her longs with one long pull of breath. She is renewed. She is energized. She is more alive than she had ever been._

_She takes a chance. Eyelids flutter open and she is looking into a cloudless sky. Hues of blue, amber and ivory are painted onto a canvas by an artistic hand._

"_Ania." Her name floats upon a whispered breeze and wraps her in warmth and love._

_She turns, only slightly, and beholds the face of pure love smiling down at her. It is not a loved one who passed before her. It is not the face of a Creator long sought._

_It is the face she chooses to see on the angel of her design. A mane of soft brown frames creamy skin. Long, lush lashes surround eyes of bluish grey. High cheekbones tinted a natural rouge. Strong jaw, lightly kissed with fine hair. A crooked smile of lips that promise Heaven. One mole purposefully placed along a graceful neck that begs to know a lover's kiss._

_Lengthy fingers extend from a palm made to touch, and he beckons her to his side. She takes his hand, her eyes never leaving his. Their unspoken words promise forever, promise peace, promise dreams brought to fruition._

_A velvet voice caresses her skin, and his eyes speak the sincerity in his words. "Welcome home, Ania. I've been waiting for you."_

_Rest in Peace, Ania. Your loss is felt by many._

_Mels: I will miss UV. Even though I didn't get to know her well, I did get to know her a bit in the brief time I was able to get on here with school, kids, family, etc. Ania, you are loved and you will be greatly missed._

There wasn't a dry eye in the room as Mila finished reading the devotions from all over the world. The number of people that Aini had touched was astounding. She truly was a unique and beautiful soul and the world was going to be a bit sadder and grayer without her in it.

Mila went on to place the pages she had read from into a bowl after lighting them on fire with a candle. We all watched, curious as to what she was doing, then she explained.

"Aini was cremated and I think that she would want the beautiful words of her family and friends with her. Please, I'd like each of you to take a piece of paper from up here, write one thing about Aini that you want her to keep with her forever, then burn it and place it in the bowl. The ashes of these memories and feelings will be combined with her ashes so that she can forever rest being surrounded by the love we all had for her."

One by one, each person stood up and went up front, writing something on a piece of paper, then lighting it and putting it in the bowl. When it was Edward's turn, he was shaking as he stood and walked up front.

His hand trembled as he picked up the pen and pressed it to the paper, letting our love flow through.

_Aini, I never did tell you the truth, that I really did love you. I will always remember you and love no other like I loved you. Goodbye my dear, sweet Aini. _

The tears flowed down Edward's cheeks, dripping onto the table cloth as his trembling hand raised up and touched the paper to the flame. He held it for a moment and then placed it in the bowl alongside all the other words of love and loss.

Before he left the front he turned to Aini's urn, leaning down to kiss it before he whispered, "goodbye my love."

Edward choked back a sob as he turned and quickly exited the room, not meeting the eyes of anyone else as he almost ran back to his car. Fumbling with his keys, he finally managed to get inside and shut the door before he broke down fully. He was crying so hard that he almost didn't hear the knocking on the window. I had to twitch in his pants to get him to look up.

Mila, Aini's cousin, was standing there with her own red rimmed eyes. Edward opened the car door and stepped out to see what she wanted.

"You're Edward, right?" she asked softly, her voice hoarse from her own tears.

"Yeah," he said as he furiously wiped at the wetness on his cheeks.

"My cousin, in the hospital before she passed, told me to tell you something if you showed up. She told me to tell you that she loved you, too."

That was too much for Edward and he broke in that instant, dropping to his knees in the parking lot as he cried violently. She had loved us too. Mila just stood there, allowing Edward to hold onto her as he cried. She stroked his head in a soothing way as he tried to cry out the tears. Finally, when they were mostly stopped, he pulled back and stood up while I stayed broken from the admission.

"I don't know how you two knew each other, but she talked sometimes of a man named Edward and how he was wonderful, inside and out. I want you to know that you were always in her heart," Mila told Edward before she turned and walked back inside.

For the first time that day, Edward smiled. It was that smile, and the knowledge that Aini really had loved us, that allowed him the strength to keep going that day. Edward drove back to the hotel, changed and packed, then checked out. Before we headed back home, there was one more piece of unfinished business left to take care of…

* * *

**The messages from Aini's online friends are actual messages that people left, thinking of her through a series of posts over at the favorite perving site that Aini and many of us have, The Cold Shower. All of us Cold Shower ladies really miss Aini and her perving ways that she shared with us on The Cold Shower and over at Twitter and Tumblr. We all spoke daily and never imagined losing her when we did. Aini/Uber Vamp/UV, we love you angel!**

**To visit The Cold Shower and see where Aini loved to spend her time, go to http:/thecoldshower(.)wordpress(.)com/**


	7. Chapter 7 Turning Back Time

**So I'm back. The last chapter was posted out of order because I wanted to post Aini/Uber Vamp's memorial chapter ASAP. Now, I'm back with the regularly scheduled update. This chapter goes back in time some more. The star of this chapter is the TCS baby girl, Lior. Oh, and there is some info about Hot Puss somewhere in here too. I hope you all enjoy the plot development!**

**Thanks go to my lightning fast beta, preciousfairymom80 who is the cheese to my macaroni, the peanut butter to my jelly, my soul sister. I love you lady!**

**Disclaimer: Even though SM and I have the same initials, I'm not her so I don't own this. But I do own the peen pov!  
**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 7

_Previously:_

"_I don't know how you two knew each other, but she talked sometimes of a man named Edward and how he was wonderful, inside and out. I want you to know that you were always in her heart," Mila told Edward before she turned and walked back inside. _

_For the first time that day, Edward smiled. It was that smile, and the knowledge that Aini really had loved us, that allowed him the strength to keep going that day. Edward drove back to the hotel, changed and packed, then checked out. Before we headed back home, there was one more piece of unfinished business left to take care of…_

As Edward pulled the car up to Newton's Grocery Store, I began to shrink and shrivel in his pants. I knew who was here, it was that bitch! Even after the payback we had gotten, the thought of her was like nails down a chalkboard…like teeth biting down on my body…it was fucking horrible.

Edward had heard that she married Mr. Newton's son, Mike, shortly after high school. There was some scandal about pregnancy or something. I was just glad that that prick would get tortured by the bitch instead of us. It was unfathomable that I had ever gotten hard over her.

It was so long ago but felt like just yesterday in a way…

_High school hadn't started out great for Edward or us. We weren't scholars, requiring a tutor most of high school, and there wasn't a sport that Edward excelled at. But he did work his ass off on the junior varsity football team, finally making varsity. He was still second string, which meant that we got our ass handed to us every practice and hoped for a chance to ever play during the game, but one day that chance came and Edward got to play. _

_In addition to that, Edward had been working at Newton's Grocery saving money to take out _her_. The 'her' we were all worked up over was Lior. She was the captain of the varsity cheerleading team and was perpetually single, preferring to be spoiled and fawned over by many guys instead of one. When Edward had made the varsity team, she began to watch him, which made me stand up and take notice. Edward chastised me multiple times for rising at inappropriate times, like in the locker room showering, or on the field during practice. But Lior was just so fucking hot that it was nearly impossible. _

_Lior was obviously not from Forks with her Middle Eastern looks and naturally tanned skin. She had long, dark brown hair, and light brown eyes. She was only five-foot-six, much shorter than the rest of her family, but she had been adopted as a baby by the Mallory's, who found out they were pregnant shortly afterwards. Even though the Mallory's finally had a daughter of their own, Lauren, they treated Lior as their own. She was a year older and a grade higher than Lauren and she taught her well in the ways of popularity and school cliques. Edward had once found Lauren beautiful, but then I saw Lior and stood up for her, making Edward turn and look. That one look and he was done for, enamored with Lior and determined to take her out at least once. _

_That determination led to him working his ass off for a spot on the varsity team and the job at Newton's. He had enough saved to take her out and was determined to ask her that night after the game, when he was told to go in by the coach. I behaved for him while he was on the field and Edward actually sacked the other team's quarterback, resulting in a fumble which he grabbed and ran in for the winning touchdown. _

_Edward was ecstatic and was even more so when Mike Newton, our quarterback and team captain, invited him to the team party after the game. Even with Edward being on the varsity team, he had never been invited to the party, and you didn't show up uninvited if you were on the team. Hell, you didn't show up uninvited if you weren't on the team. Bad shit happened to those that decided to crash the party. And the bad was public ridicule and total embarrassment. One kid, Eric Yorkie, actually begged his parents to change schools after he made the mistake of showing up to a party uninvited. They ended up moving to Port Angeles to get him away from it. _

_Edward showered after the game and threw on the outfit he always brought just in case that night would be the night of the invite. He put on a pair of dark washed jeans, some biker style boots, a v-neck plain white tee, and this mustard yellow button-up shirt that Mom had bought him. I was practically vibrating with excitement because I knew about the scandalous happenings at the parties. The other guys always talked about them in the locker room. _

_I was fucking stoked to think about any of those scandalous things happening to me, let alone Edward. Maybe I would finally get the chance to become a man…peen…manpeen? Whatever I would become would be well worth the wait, I just knew it!_

_Edward knew where the party was so we headed over in his car, parking along the road with all the other cars. He and I were both nervous as fuck as we walked up toward the house. Did he knock? Did we just walk in? I was shaking in Edward's boxers, half scared out of my nuts about entering that house, when the door opened and Mike pulled Edward in, announcing to the party that he had arrived. _

_There were shouts of 'good game' and 'way to go' and other various congratulatories. A beer was placed in Edward's hand and everyone started shouting 'chug, chug, chug' so Edward did. He was just so ecstatic that he was there, being accepted, part of the crowd, that he did whatever they said, drank whatever was given to him, and kissed any girl that crossed his path. _

_What shocked him and me was when Lior walked in with Lauren and Jessica flanking her. The crowds parted as they strutted through the room in their barely there dresses, shaking their hips and bouncing their chests with every step. Lior looked amazing with her long, lean, tanned limbs exposed in her short, white baby doll dress. Her cleavage was prominently displayed and I began to stand up a little more and then more to look at, and hopefully down, it. Lior's long brown hair was straight tonight, even though it was naturally curly, and it hung down her back in a silky curtain of dark brown, begging to be pulled. _

_Edward stood there staring at her as she walked straight up to us and kissed him straight on the lips, before offering him congratulations on the win. There were whoops and hollers filling the air as Lior linked her arm through Edward's and began pulling him through the crowd and down the hallway toward the bedrooms. This was it, the scandalous shit that the guys talked about! And it was with our dream girl, the girl that Edward abused me to, the one he dreamed about nightly._

_She walked through a bedroom door and pulled Edward in. I was literally screaming like a fucking fan girl when she closed the door and slowly stalked toward us, her eyes fixed on me as I stood up for her appraisal. _

_We found ourselves pushed down on the bed and Lior was leaning over us, kissing Edward's lips again. He just sat there, unsure of whether or not this was actually happening. When she undid his jeans and reached in to palm me, we both knew it was real and this shit was going down! Tonight I was going to become a manpeen! I was going to lose my big V status and join the ranks of men. Tonight I was going to get to taste the dream puss. _

_When Lior wrapped her hand around me, Edward finally joined in and began kissing Lior back with purpose, flipping her over to take charge. While we had never done this before, we had seen movies and knew basically what to do. Plus, guys talk so we heard all the juicy details._

_Lior kept her hand wrapped around me as Edward put a shaky hand on her thigh and began inching it north. Apparently he wasn't moving fast enough because Lior grabbed his hand and pulled it higher, under her dress, revealing the lack of panties. I swear Edward and I groaned in appreciation at the same time and then he was in a frenzy, his hands all over her as he began to rock his still clothed hips into her bare ones. _

_Lior's feet came up and began pushing Edward's jeans down, revealing me poking out of his boxers. Edward helped shimmy them down to free me and Lior pulled him down on top of her, spurring him closer to the promise land, the honey hole, hell, the place I wanted to be balls deep in. _

_Edward stopped for a second and looked up at Lior, giving her a questioning glance because neither of them had even spoken a word since entering the bedroom._

"_What's wrong? I thought you wanted me," Lior purred to Edward, her voice making me almost spurt prematurely. It was like liquid puss or some shit._

"_I…I…how did you know?" Edward asked, his voice quavering slightly._

"_Oh honey, _everyone_ wants me, and I've been watching you watch me for some time now and I'm here to give you what you wanted. Call it a welcome party for two. Now, are we going to do this or do I need to go grab Mike?" Lior asked. _

_Hearing his rival's name, Edward grew bold and I became determined. This was _my_ puss and I was going to lose that V card and become the manpeen that I wanted to become._

_Edward eagerly began kissing Lior again and grabbed me, quickly test pumping me to ensure that I was ready. He leaned forward until I was resting just at Lior's opening. I could taste her juices and I began begging Edward to just push me forward and let me get it over with._

_Edward took a deep breath and then moved his hips forward and I was suddenly sheathed in Lior's puss, my dream puss. What wasn't a dream was the sudden queasy feeling I got deep down in my brothers. I couldn't go that fast! No! I had been practicing with Edward! But the puss felt so damn good, better than lotion and Edward's hand could ever feel. _

_Edward pulled back and then plunged forward again, making Lior moan as her hands roamed Edward's back, pulling him to her. She started mewling and making noises even without Edward or I doing anything. Edward pulled and pushed another time and I started to feel the rise in my throat as I fought to keep it down. _

_I don't know if Edward felt the nearness of my embarrassment or if he was lost in the vanishing V card, but he started pumping in a frenzy, leaving me no hope for a prolonged experience. I wanted to scream at him…yell and shout for his dumb ass to slow the fuck down, but he didn't and I couldn't hold back any longer. _

_Edward began to grunt and seize as I spurted my stomach contents in the treasured puss that I had coveted for years. Once I was done and Edward had stilled, the blow to our egos and the severing of my brothers commenced. _

"_That's it?" Lior asked in a shocked tone. _

"_Uh…" Edward said as he pulled out and quickly pulled his boxers and jeans up to hide me in my embarrassed state._

"_You're shitting me, right?" Lior asked and then started to snicker as she smoothed her dress down and sat up on the bed._

"_Look, I can explain…" Edward began but Lior cut him off._

"_Oh my god! You were a fucking virgin weren't you? Oh my god! No wonder you were so fucking pathetic!" Lior exclaimed as she burst out laughing and bent over, clasping her hands over her mouth._

_Edward didn't say anything. He just flushed red with embarrassment and ran from the room, through the crowds, and out the front door to his car. I had let him down. I was the reason that he fucked up. I was no manpeen._

That memory was a horrible one, but it was the first memory that came to mind whenever Edward or I thought about her. I noticed Edward shift uncomfortably in his seat and I stood up some to look out the window towards the store. There she was and she still looked as hot as ever! How fucking fair was that?

She was the bane of our existence, but in a way we should be thankful of her. If it hadn't been for her we would have never gotten the job at Newton's store and then wouldn't have met Aini, our goddess, and then we wouldn't have gotten payback ever! That payback was a sweet memory for Edward and me.

_Aini had trained us well and tonight was going to be the night we showed that bitch, Lior, who'd be laughing at the end. It'd be us this time. We would laugh when she begged for forgiveness, but it would never come for her. She had ruined that. _

_In Edward's determination to show her up, he continued to perform well with the team so the coach moved him to first string. That kept the invitation to the parties wide open for him also. But, there was only one more party we would attend and that was tonight. _

_Edward took his time after the game to shower and dress perfectly to impress, in addition to boosting his self esteem and mine. I was practically strutting to 'Staying Alive' doing my best John Travolta impression as Edward walked up that sidewalk and into the party._

_There were quite a few looks over shoulders and some snickers from acquaintances of Lior's. Apparently the bitch had been talking. Well, after tonight, she'd be singing a different tune._

_Edward walked up to the makeshift bar and poured a double shot of tequila, getting a bit of liquid courage for what he was about to do. After swallowing down the golden liquid of heaven, Edward turned and scanned the room, looking for his target, which he locked onto and began to approach. _

_Edward walked right up behind her without her knowing he was there, and gripped her hips, pulling her ass into me. Lior gasped as I bounced up against her ass cheeks through the jeans and her short dress._

"_Let me show you something," Edward murmured into Lior's ear before she turned to see who it was. _

"_Oh, you want to show me another minute of your patheticness?" Lior sneered when she saw it was Edward._

"_Trust me, doll, there'll be nothing pathetic this time," he replied as reached down and cupped her ass, squeezing it and making Lior's eyes roll back in her head slightly. Apparently she liked things a little rough. Well, Aini taught us about rough and it was one of Edward's specialties._

_Edward let go of Lior and walked off and down the hallway in search of a vacant bedroom, finding one quickly. He entered the room and stood with his back against the wall of the darkened room, waiting for her to enter._

_She did a minute later, looking around the room for him. He shut the door and quickly stalked up to her, grasping her from behind as he fisted a hand in her hair, pulling her head back as he licked a trail up her throat. Lior groaned as she tried to push her ass against me. Edward gripped her hips and stilled them, whispering in her ear again._

"_Last time I didn't properly take care of you, allow me to make that up to you, Lior?" Edward asked as he finally pulled her hips flush against me as he nibbled on her collar bone area. "Huh? Will you let me show you what I can really do?" Edward asked again as he pushed his hips, and me, up against Lior's ass, grinding us together._

"_Ugh," was all Lior said as she nodded her head and then dropped it back onto Edward's shoulder. _

_He took the opportunity to kiss her, really kiss her…a kiss with force and power and raw need. Lior moaned into his mouth as I strained against his jeans, eager to come out and play. I had recently learned the ways of loving the puss and I wanted to show Lior that I wasn't a pathetic peen. I was a manpeen!_

_Edward moved Lior forward to the bed and spun her around before pushing her down. If she had been Aini, Edward would have been worshipping that puss with his tongue before I got a hold of it. But, this wasn't Aini and we didn't know where Lior had been, so no foreplay of that nature. _

_Edward hovered above Lior as he kept pushing his clothed pelvis, and me in my rigid state, against her groin, inching her dress up higher and higher. Again, it was revealed that she wasn't wearing any panties and that was fine by me. It meant easier access to the puss. But before I got to play, Edward had some playing to do. _

_He began to kiss Lior, his mouth on hers and their tongues tangled together. Lior was moaning and pushing her body up to meet me, but Edward stilled her hips with his hands as he began to massage the crease of her hip and thigh with his thumbs. Closer and closer his thumbs inched, massaging the flesh, until they were pressing into Lior's puss, massaging her clit from both sides. _

_Lior was moaning and writhing on the bed, her hips and pelvis twitching with Edward's manipulations of her flesh. He moved one hand away from her puss, trailing it north to cup a breast and pull it free from the material of her dress. His other hand stayed at the puss, his thumb on her clit and he plunged two fingers deep into her, making her moan audibly. _

_I smiled like the cocky cock I had become, and twitched in Edward's pants, begging him to let me out to play. But Edward had a mission first, he wanted to make Lior beg for me, beg for the peen. And beg she did._

_Edward was curling his two fingers deep inside of her while flicking her clit roughly with his thumb. His other hand had freed one of her tits and the exposed nipple was being rolled between Edward's thumb and index finger while his mouth licked and bit up and down her throat. He was just waiting for the right moment to finally free me, and that moment came just before I began to beg! _

_Lior's body tensed and seized as she moaned and screamed out through her orgasm, panting as she came down. She looked up at Edward incredulously, and he just smirked at her before speaking. _

"_No, that's not it and I'm not shitting you," he said, using her previous words on her and she just groaned her response. Apparently we had rendered her a bit speechless and I hadn't even come out to play yet. _

_Edward chuckled darkly and began to unbutton his jeans before pulling them off completely after toeing off his shoes. He removed his boxers too, then did that weird one armed reach behind his back and pulled his shirt off over his head, dropping it on the floor. Lior was quickly pulling her dress up to allow us more access to her puss. But Edward had one more thing to do before he let me dive in and play. He bent over and reached in his jeans pocket, pulling out a wetsuit. Lior looked at what he was about to put on me and spoke up. _

"_You know that's not necessary, right? I'm on the pill," Lior said in a breathy tone, trying to act all sexy._

"_Ha, yeah, right," Edward replied and slipped my suit on me._

_He knelt on the bed in between Lior's legs and leaned over, gripping me by the base and positioned me at her juncture. _

_Lior was looking up at Edward with half lidded eyes and he took a deep breath before sliding me home. I sighed as I was sheathed in the previous puss that had devirginized me and it didn't feel any different than the first time, other than being not as purge inducing. I had been trained since then and I wasn't going to embarrass Edward this time. Nope! I was going to make Lior squeal by the time I was done with her. _

_Edward braced his hands on either side of Lior and began thrusting deep inside of her, letting me greet her cervix. _Hello there_. Edward pulled me out then pushed me back in. _Long time no see._ Edward was out then in again. Over and over he punished her puss, allowing me to regain the respect I had lost on our first encounter. _

_Lior was moaning and groaning and her head was thrashing back and forth as Edward kept pushing in and out of her. I began to feel the nausea of my demise and Edward must have felt it too because he pulled me out completely, griped Lior's hips, and flipped her over before pulling her onto her knees. _

_Lior growled lightly with the way Edward was manhandling her, but it wasn't a pissed growl, she was turned on. Edward gripped her hips and pulled her back as he thrust me through the air until I contacted with her slit, plunging back into her warm depths from a new angle. _

_Edward began to thrust a bit slower but harder as he pulled her hips to meet his, practically beating it into her that I had become the manpeen she didn't believe I was. Harder and harder, Edward shoved me against Lior's cervix as she screamed out and clenched around me. _Yeah, that's right. Cum all over me, the cock. Choke me out with your walls, bitch!

_Edward and I were relentless, punishing her puss for the way she had laughed at us before. Thinking about our previous encounter, Edward began to get pissed and he moved one hand from her hip and grabbed her hair, wrapping it around his hand as he pulled her head back._

_She tried to lift her body up but Edward's other hand pushed on the small of her back keeping her down, using her hair as leverage for his thrusts now. Harder and faster, harder and faster, Edward's new pace had me worried about missing the hole and breaking off in a backbend or something, but he never faltered once, always lining me up with his target and allowing me to abuse Lior's puss perfectly._

_I felt the nausea begin again and I knew I was close to blowing my load all over myself. Edward, spurred on by my nausea, jack hammered Lior's puss, making her cum one more time before he pushed her flat on the bed. He pulled me out as he pushed her down and the feel of the quick and forceful withdrawal had me purging all over myself. _

_Edward began to redress after discarding my wetsuit in the trashcan by the bed. Lior continued to lay on the bed, panting while her lower half was still exposed. Just before Edward strutted out of the bedroom he looked back over his shoulder at Lior. _

"_Thanks," was all he said as he strutted out of the room, down the hall, and out of the house to his car. We had done it; we had shown her that I was the greatest manpeen of all time! _

_Over the next few weeks at school, Lior was adamant about Edward giving her another chance, assuring him that she really liked him, but Edward wasn't interested and I couldn't even get hard for her like I had done on so many other occasions before. Finally, Edward had had enough of the begging and ended it with one line._

"_Your warm pussy isn't enough to over look your cold, dead heart," Edward said in a low tone before he walked away from her and into his new life._

We were brought out of our memories by a sharp knocking on the window of the car. Edward looked up and there stood the chief of police. Edward rolled his window down and I cowered in Edward's britches. Police scared me and turned me into an innie instead of an outie.

"License and registration, son," the Chief said and Edward complied, handing over the required documents.

"What did I do?" Edward asked as he looked up at the Chief.

"You've been sitting out here in your car for over an hour. Mrs. Newton called you in as a suspicious vehicle. Now, Mr.…Cullen, wait, Edward Cullen? Didn't you go to Forks High?" the Chief asked.

"Uh yeah."

"You knew my daughter; she tutored you I think, Isabella."

_Isabella? I thought Edward's tutor's name started with a B. It was like Becca or Becky or Bailey or something like that?_

"You probably called her Bella, she preferred that name."

"Wait, Bella…Swan?" Edward asked, suddenly confused.

"Yep, one in the same. She's living up in Seattle now doing something with movies or something. Say, you live there too," the Chief commented as he looked back at my license, "maybe you two have run into each other and didn't realize it."

"Maybe," Edward said, at a loss for words as everything sank in.

"Well, Edward, it was good to see you again and you should probably get a move on. And remember; don't sit in a parking lot for so long next time."

The Chief handed Edward back his license and registration and Edward numbly put them away as the realization took over his senses. Hot Puss, the most desirable of all pusses, was our fucking high school tutor, Bella Swan…

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**DUN DUN DUN! There will be another TCS gal chapter after this with more Hot Puss developments, then Operation Hot Puss will officially begin! I hope you enjoy! Reviews are better than Rod Pattinhead abusing your cervix!**


	8. Chapter 8 Call Me Master Peen

**So, I'm back, my lovelies and this chapter is for my girl ShayTwilight! BB, I told you to trust me and I hope you enjoy this! Thanks to everyone who's reading, reviewing, and enjoying this peen show. And, on we go with it!**

**Just a note, several of my stories have been nominated for The Sunflower Awards! Total of 13 nominations! I'll let you know when the voting is because our beloved Rod is up for a few!**

**Thanks go to preciousfairymom80, my soul sister and beta babe! She had a bit of a difficulty getting through this chapter without spontaneously combusting from orgasmic delight. With that said, get the ShamWow panties out because this is a hot ride!**

**Disclaimer: don't own Twilight but I do own the PEEN POV!  
**

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The COUP Chapter 8

_Previously:_

"_Yep, one in the same. She's living up in Seattle now doing something with movies or something. Say, you live there too," the Chief commented as he looked back at my license, "maybe you two have run into each other and didn't realize it."_

"_Maybe," Edward said, at a loss for words as everything sank in._

"_Well, Edward, it was good to see you again and you should probably get a move on. And remember; don't sit in a parking lot for so long next time."_

_The Chief handed Edward back his license and registration and Edward numbly put them away as the realization took over his senses. Hot Puss, the most desirable of all pusses, was our fucking high school tutor, Bella Swan…_

Holy shit... Hot Puss was our tutor. Our tutor was Hot Puss. Hot Puss was our tutor. Our tutor was Hot Puss.

No matter how many times I ran the thought through my purple head, it still shocked me. The entire ride back to Seattle was consumed with trying to remember exactly what Hot Puss looked like when she was back in high school. Neither Edward nor I could quite remember her, seeing as how we had been obsessed with bitch ass Lior.

The moment we got home, Edward started digging through his closet trying to find an old yearbook. After an hour of searching through random boxes, he finally located his senior year yearbook and flipped through to the S's. Locating _Isa_bella Swan was easy, seeing as how the senior class was miniscule, and Edward and I gaped at her picture.

Now, I'm not gay in the least bit, and neither is Edward, but we've both been tortured through a viewing or twenty of _The Princess Diaries_ by pieces of puss we were trying to land._ What was it with chicks and chick flicks?_ Well, if you've ever seen it, then you know how the chick looked before the transformation and then after. Well, Hot Puss, I mean Bella, looked even worse than she did before the transformation.

Frizzy didn't even begin to describe her unruly hair. It shrouded her face too. She wore thick, plastic framed glasses, had braces, and dressed like she had been rummaging through the church bins. After a closer inspection of her features, though, Edward and I could both see the hidden Hot Puss deep inside of her. Of course she had filled out much more since high school, getting breasts where none had previously been, having her hips curve outward in a seductive bow, and actually showing off her curves where she had always worn clothes at least a size too big, and definitely never form fitting.

Now that Edward knew who exactly our conquest was, he realized why she was so cold to us. I mean, we had literally spent almost every school day together for over a year as she helped us graduate. Sure, _my_ mind was elsewhere, but Edward had at least paid attention because he was able to pass the tests honestly, not with the coach making the teacher give a certain grade.

Every day, during study hall, we would meet in the library and work side by side for the entire hour. Five whole hours a week was spent sitting next to her and we hadn't recognized her at first sight. She was pissed at us, that much we both knew. First chance we got, we had to rectify the situation, tell her we knew her, or else I feared I would never get to taste her hot, wet, juicy, dripping, tasty...well, her puss.

But all that had to wait for the moment because Edward and I needed our rest, after my prefilming grooming that is. Tomorrow we were shooting our segment for Cold Shower Studios and had received the info that it would be a BDSM style scene with one of their headliners, Shay.

They had included a photograph of her, standing nude, for us to see. I had to admit that I got hard just looking at her. I didn't even have to imagine the punishment we were going to inflict on her the next day. Shay was the average height at five-foot-seven. She wasn't a twig either. She had all the curves in all the right places. Her hips were full as was her ass. In fact, her ass looked like it was begging to be teased and spanked. Her breasts were obviously natural, slightly tear dropped from their large volume and weight. She was probably a full D cup, if not a DD. Her stomach wasn't rock hard and ripped, thankfully. Instead, she opted for the natural feminine body. And her skin looked like she had been baked to perfection in the sun. No tanning bed could have ever replicated her color. Her hair was shorter, bobbed to right below the chin, and was thick and jet black. Her eyebrows were perfectly arched and almost begged to be covered in my goo. But we'd get to that later. All in all, she was stunning and I couldn't wait to make her beg to suck me.

Edward performed my grooming ritual, giving me a haircut so I would look bigger than the average peen tomorrow. Well, I _was_ bigger than the average peen, but the camera always took off a half inch. I hated it too. Damn camera voodoo shit making me look smaller than I was. But I was still impressive on film. Rod Pattinhead never looked small!

The next day dawned and Edward got up, while I was already standing at attention. Damn Hot Puss wet dreams. But, they'd be useful later on. The whole BDSM lifestyle was something that Edward and I weren't fully into, but we had taken classes on it as a requirement in our contract with Volturi Videos. We had done several of the scenes before, and they always took a lot out of Edward. Shay was hot as hell so that would help with the extra enjoyment factor. What better way to make a living than to get paid to fuck hot pusses all day long!

Edward got dressed and we headed out for Cold Shower Studios filming location for the day. They had acquired a warehouse for the scene and sent the address with the other paperwork. Edward plugged it into his GPS and we were off, after a quick stop for some coffee.

Arriving at the warehouse, I noticed that it was a cold metal building that just screamed rough. Edward took a few minutes preparing in his car before he got out and headed inside. One of the production assistants spotted Edward and rushed him off to wardrobe to get ready for the scene. The outfit of the day was a pair of tight, black leather pants that Edward had to oil up for just to get on. They were paired with a plain black t-shirt and a pair of twenty-hole black Doc Martens.

After crushing me into the tight abominations known as leather pants, Edward was led out to the filming area. We saw our costar, Shay, already on set in a pair of small, black leather boy shorts, a barely there black leather bra with the nipple coverage cut out so that her nipples were poking almost painfully through, a black collar with a few metal rings around it, and she was barefoot. She was helping one of the production assistants set up the assortment of items that would be used in the scene.

Edward stood off to the side, out of the way of everyone else, waiting for filming to start and his cue to enter. One of the assistants let him know how he was to begin and to go with what he felt like, but that there would occasionally be commands called from off camera for him to enact. He just nodded his head while I sat, squished in his pants, and waited patiently. Finally, once everything and everyone was positioned, including Shay down on her knees with her hands clasped behind her back and her head bowed, Edward was given the cue to enter.

He allowed us to slowly strut onto the set, taking in the industrial, stainless steel table with chains, the pulley and lever system suspended above, the assorted crops, floggers, ropes, clamps, toys...it was a dom's paradise. There was even a hydraulic dildo setup. Edward cringed slightly when he pictured us as the submissives in the scene. Thankfully, Edward didn't let me get dominated. Instead, he would always make sure to get in a few Rod Whips across the puss's face.

But it was game time. Time to break out Master Peen, or would that be Master P? I wouldn't mind being called Master Rod. Yeah, Master Rod, tamer of the wild puss, wielder of the pain. But, it wasn't me that Shay called Master. She called out to Edward, calling him Master, but the sound of it still made my pubes curl.

"Silence!" Edward said in a sharp tone. "I have not given you permission to speak yet, now have I?" he asked and I half expected Shay to answer, but she didn't, which made Edward's mouth curl up into a slight smile. Yes, she was good, but we would have to test how good she really was. I bet I could make her slip, make her defy an order, make her get her face fucked by me.

Edward walked slowly up to her perfectly bowed form, taking in everything with his eyes, before reaching a slightly trembling hand forward. The first contact was always tense, wondering if there would be a connection of sorts or not. As he reached forward slowly, trying to calm his nerves, I began to chant for a connection. It was so much more enjoyable with a connection.

The moment that Edward's hand touched Shay's bowed head, I felt the connection in my brothers. Sure, it wasn't as strong as the electro shock therapy inducing connection that I had with Hot Puss and her carrier, Bella, but there was something there. I began to get a bit eager for the punishment Edward would let me dish out. I needed a little dom outfit if we were going to keep these scenes in our contract.

Edward slowly pet Shay's head, humming lightly to himself as he did so. Then, the domineering, possessive, commanding character began to peer out and take form as Edward got into the scene.

"You've disappointed me, my pet. You spoke out of line," Edward crooned at her in his panty dropping voice. Hell, if I was a puss I'd be wet hearing him. Even being a peen, I felt myself seeping a bit. Did that make me semi-gay? I'd pocket that topic for later. For now, it was time to get to work.

"You know what that means, right?" Edward asked her, gently cupping her chin and tilting her face up to look at him. Shay didn't speak a single word, anxiously biting her lip in response to the unspoken threat. "You will have to be punished for your mistake."

The look in Shay's eyes made it perfectly clear that she was hoping for this, but her posture and actions played the part of being slightly scared. This puss was good!

"Come," was Edward's only command and the tone made Shay quiver on the spot.

She carefully got onto her feet while Edward hooked a finger through a ring on her collar, before leading her over to the stainless steel table.

"Up."

Edward helped Shay onto the table, making note of her wincing at the cold temperature of it, then had her lie down on her stomach with her head hanging off the end. He picked up the chains that were dangling from the sides of the table and laid them over Shay's shoulders and thighs, not fully fastening them yet. Before he fastened, he went ahead and got the other items that would be coming into play soon.

Edward bent over by the wall and picked up a spreader bar with ankle cuffs, as well as a riding crop and a black suede flogger. When I spotted the anal hook, I bounced for him to take notice, and he did, raising one eyebrow at it before picking it up along with a short length of rope. Oh holy hell yes! I loved some anal play. It was fuck hot!

Edward carried the items over to the table where Shay laid and started setting them down, some on the table and some on her. He began to affix the spreader bar to Shay's ankles when her voice called out to him, barely a whisper.

"Master, I'm sorry."

"That's the second time you've spoken out of line, my pet. You must really want to be punished, hmm? What if I told you that I wouldn't punish you for your indiscretions? What if I said that I would just restrain you and leave you untouched and unsatisfied all night? Is that what you want? You may speak," Edward said in his velvety, yet clipped, tone.

"No, Master, I would not like that," came Shay's submissive voice. It was almost like she was about to cry at the possibility of not being touched. _Oh, my dearest Shay, Rod will take care of you. Rod will comfort you. Come to me and lick me, suck me, make me yours and I'll make you mine. I'll treat you so good that you won't ever want another peen._

Edward interrupted my wooing of Shay when he began to adjust the cuffs on the spreader bar. He walked back over to the assorted items and picked up a few lengths of nylon rope and a blindfold. Walking back over to the table, he deposited the rope, but moved toward Shay's head with the blindfold.

"Safewords," came from off set, some female with a somewhat seductive voice, and Edward complied within the scene.

"My pet, what are your words?" he asked. "You may speak."

"Green...yellow…red..." Shay said in a small voice.

"What color are you now?"

"Green."

"And now?" Edward asked as he slipped the blindfold over her face and tightened the clip on the elastic to ensure it did not slip off.

"Green, Master, very, very green."

Edward chuckled lightly at her enthusiasm while I was just hoping that I would get to come out and play sooner rather than later. Hearing Shay's breathy voice, seeing her completely submissive before us, and knowing that I would eventually have her, had me hard as a steel rod, practically on my knees too, hoping and praying for my turn.

Edward moved back to the assorted items he grabbed and began to peruse them, deciding where to begin. He picked up the riding crop but dismissed it, going to the wall for a short, wide paddle, and moved the other items to a small shelf under the table, then tightened the chains slightly to keep Shay from falling off her perch.

"My pet, you spoke out of line twice, which means you get twice the punishment. Five swats for each infraction. And I want you to count each one out...out loud. You miss one or take too long and we start over at the beginning, plus five additional swats. Are we clear? You may speak."

"Yes, Master."

Edward looked at the leather boy shorts that Shay was wearing and sighed. They were quite sexy, but he needed them off. So he grabbed a pair of scissors and carefully cut the material away from her skin, depositing the shreds and scissors when he was done. Then Edward gripped the paddle in his hand and took a deep breath. The hardest part was the first swing, the first bit of initial pain inflicting contact. Once that was out of the way it was a little easier for him. He took one more deep breath and placed the tip of the slightly curved paddle against one of Shay's ankles, making her shift slightly. He slowly moved around her body, dragging the paddle along her skin from her ankle to her shoulders and back down the other side. Shay was panting with the anticipation of the first swing, but Edward wanted to surprise her.

After caressing the soles of her spread feet with the paddle, he moved to her plump rear, looking at the rich golden color of it, and tried to picture what it would look like with the angry red blush he was about to inflict.

THWACK!

The paddle flew through the air and even I jumped when it made contact with Shay's ass.

"Ahh, one, Master," Shay called out, desire and lust lacing her voice. She was fucking enjoying this shit. Fuck yes! Maybe she's down with counting out the cervix smacks I wanted to give her.

THWACK!

The second swat came before Shay could compose herself.

"Two, Master," Shay grunted out as her ass began to redden slightly from the blows.

THWACK!

"Three, Master."

The smacks and counting continued through to the ninth one. Shay was beginning to tremble and her ass was red as fire. There was one smack left but Edward was hesitating doing it because of the condition of Shay's cheeks already. But a command came from off set and he had to finish.

"Finish!" was the sharp command from some unseen female. Edward took a deep breath and raised the paddle again.

THWACK!

The final blow landed with loud smack, making Shay cry out, almost pleasurably.

"Ahh! Ten, ten, Master."

Edward threw the paddle off to the side before walking up to kneel before Shay's blindfolded face. There were a few tear trails down her cheeks that had escaped the blindfold. Edward reached up to gently brush them from her cheeks before whispering in her ear.

"What color, my pet?"

"Green," Shay whispered before smiling slightly.

"Good girl, good," Edward said as he began to pet her head. "Now you'll get your pleasure, my pet. You may thank me now."

"Thank you, Master," Shay said in a reverent tone, making Edward smile.

He stood back up and moved to her side, reaching down for the rope and anal hook he had previously selected. He set them on Shay's back before loosening the chains that had previously held her down. He pulled her arms back until her elbows touched and began to wrap the rope around them securely. Once he was satisfied, Edward had Shay get on her knees on the table. He wrapped the same rope from her elbows around her torso, above and below her breasts, making a figure eight around them so that they stood, almost painfully, out.

Once he was satisfied that her upper body was sufficiently bound, he helped Shay lay back on her stomach before retrieving a small bottle of lubricant. The anal hook could be menacing to look at, but, when used right, was very pleasurable. Edward put a small amount of lube on the ball of the hook and rubbed it around, fully coating the tip. He also put a small amount of lube on Shay and noticed her tensing some.

"Color?" he asked.

"Green, Master," Shay answered before moaning pleasurably as Edward spread her cheeks and slowly inserted the hook.

"Yes, that's it. Good little pet. Let me hear your sounds of pleasure," Edward crooned, making Shay shudder under his touch.

Somewhere off camera came a soft moan as well. Both sounds had me stiff and rigid against the confining leather of Edward's pants. I felt like I was going to suffocate in them if he didn't let me out to breathe soon. But, Edward was still busy prepping Shay. The anal hook had a small eyelet at the top, where he threaded some rope through before looping it through one of the hooks on her collar, pulling it until her head was up. He tied the rope securely.

"If you drop your head, this pulls tighter," Edward said as he tugged on the rope connected to the anal hook. Shay moaned and writhed slightly under the sensation and I started to cry happy cum tears at the sound.

The new position of Shay's head was perfect for fucking, and I began to beg Edward to let me fuck her face. I apparently wasn't alone with the desire, because that off camera female called out too.

"Pull your dick out, stroke it, fuck her face..." At the end of the command her voice faltered some, making Edward want to look and see who it was. Instead, he kept his eyes on his work - worshipping and punishing Shay.

Edward reached down to his pants and began to undo them while I jumped for joy. _Oh boy! Rod's coming out to play! Think thick! Think long! Show that camera who the Master Peen is! _Edward finished unlacing the front of the pants and pulled them back some before pulling me out. I was already hard and ready to play, so the stroking wasn't necessary except for the show of it. However, it did feel great when Edward touched me lovingly.

He moved toward Shay's head, stroking along her body with his fingertips, until he came to her face. Using his thumb, he traced her pouty lips, making her part them slightly.

"Color?"

"Green, Master," Shay breathed out onto me as I was just inches from her mouth. The feeling of her hot, moist breath washing over my head sent shivers through my body and Edward's too.

Edward gripped me around my knees, or what would be considered knees if I was anatomically correct, and stepped forward, brushing me across Shay's lips. Her tongue darted out to taste me and Edward pulled his hips back, _fucker_.

"Ah, ah, ah. Did I say you could lick my dick?"

Shay shook her head, causing the anal hook to pull some and she groaned, panting slightly as her body trembled.

"Open wide," Edward commanded and Shay dropped her jaw, keeping her teeth covered by her lips. Edward stepped forward again, gripping me and guiding me into her warm, wet mouth. _Ah, sweet serenity that is mouth fucking. Prepare to meet me, tonsils. Get ready to know all of me, tongue. And uvula, it's boxing time!_

Edward started slow, gripping the back of her head as he pushed in and pulled out. He knew that if he moved her head too much, he'd be pulling on the hook, but off camera woman spoke up again.

"Harder! Faster!" the commands were delivered by her sultry voice.

I was spurred on by them and the feeling of Shay's sexy mouth wrapped around me. Edward gripped the back of her head with one hand, grabbing the ropes around her upper arms with the other, and started to get into it more.

Shay was moaning as she took all of me, balls deep, into her mouth. Edward kept fucking her mouth, temporarily forgetting where he was, until the command came from off camera once more_. That bitch was getting annoying._

"Switch it up."

Edward pulled me out before I had a chance to empty myself down Shay's delicious throat, and she pouted at the loss of me, making Edward chuckle some.

"Good girl, good. Keep behaving and there's more for you," Edward purred at her, making her moan in anticipation.

He helped her up and off the table, still tied up, and assisted her with walking to the suspension system. Walking with a spreader bar was tough, especially blindfolded with your head pulled back. He got her positioned under the suspension system, then went back to retrieve some more rope.

Edward tied this rope around Shay's hips so that she'd have her weight distributed across more of her body, not just her arms and chest. He then pulled the ropes down for the suspension rigging and laced them through the ropes on Shay, testing them to make sure they held tight. He didn't want her to fall.

"What color, Pet?" Edward asked.

"Green, Master, green..." Shay trailed off with a squeak as he pulled on the chains to hoist her into the air.

He secured the chains, locking them into place when her ass was right at my eye level. Her feet were hanging about six inches off the floor and spread apart with the bar. Edward walked back over to the accessories and picked up the Magic Wand - an electric powered, high speed vibrator. That thing was the dream orgasm machine. He also pulled the hydraulic dildo machine over and set it up behind her.

Edward adjusted the machine to the right height and moved it forward, sliding the silicone shaft into her as she sighed luxuriously. Edward flipped a switch and adjusted the speed dial, allowing the machine to pump into Shay at an excruciatingly slow pace. I'd rather be in her, but Edward was unfortunately in charge at the moment. _Fucker!_

"You've been good, my pet. Do you agree?" Edward asked, but Shay behaved and didn't speak. He hadn't given her permission. "Do you feel that it's time you had some release?" Still no answer from Shay as the machine pumped slowly into her suspended form. "Good girl, good pet."

Edward bent over and placed a sweet, lingering kiss to Shay's hungry lips, and then moved to her side, kneeling on the floor. He flipped on the magic wand and lifted his arm, spread Shay's lower lips, and pressed it directly to her clit. Shay jumped immediately, moaning out loudly, the moan reverberating through my entire being. Even my brothers were tingly after that throaty moan she expelled.

He held the wand on her clit until she was writhing, attempting to drop her head which pulled on the hook, adding another sensation to the pleasure. Finally, Edward pulled the wand away and slapped at her swollen clit a few times before returning the wand to it. Again, he brought Shay, moaning and whimpering, to the edge of her orgasm, but pulled away before she could get it. She was panting roughly now, biting her tongue to keep from begging out loud for him. Shay really was the perfect little pet. But, if I had a mouth I would have begged for Edward to get it over with and let me fuck her pussy...hard.

Again, Edward put the wand to Shay's clit, making her scream out pleasurably before he denied her, yet again, of her sought after orgasm. I was near tears with the desire to get myself wet, and apparently our off camera female was the same way.

"Now! Fuck her!" the command came in a less sensual tone than the other commands. This one was a bit icy and sent shivers through my brothers as they tried to suck up inside Edward and hide.

Edward turned off the wand and set it to the side, then turned the machine off and removed it from Shay's trembling puss. She was hot and ready for us. I bet the moment I shoved inside her to greet her cervix, she would cum.

Edward moved behind Shay, pulling his shirt off with one arm in the way only guys could, and threw it off to the side of the set. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out one of my wetsuits and put it on me, making my view of Shay's puss slightly blurry through the latex. _Fucking wetsuits!_

Finally, though, Edward grabbed me and positioned me up at Shay's entrance.

"Color, my pet?" Edward asked one last time.

"Green, always green for you...Master!" Shay said, screaming out 'Master' orgasmically because Edward chose that moment to slam into her puss, making me bottom out on her cervix.

The feeling of warm pussy surrounding me was almost too much after the torturous moans and cries from Shay throughout the scene. I wanted Edward to fuck her brains out, and apparently our off camera femme had the same idea.

"Harder! Fuck her harder! Faster!" the command rang out in a breathy tone.

Edward gripped the ropes around Shay's hips and used them for leverage, swinging her in the air to counter his thrusts, meeting her swing each and every time. I was being beat black and blue by the pace and depth, and I welcomed the abuse on my body. Anything for the pursuit of puss...anything...

Edward fucked Shay through two intense, squirting orgasms, before her body began to weaken and go limp from the exertion of the scene. Edward, god knows how, picked up the pace and force a bit more, fucking her puss, and me, to death, before he pulled out, ripped my wetsuit off, and jerked me until I purged all over Shay's back and ass.

Edward stood there panting, me hanging out of his pants, as the lights began to rise on the rest of the set. He leaned over and whispered thanks in Shay's ear, kissing the side of her neck, before two assistants came over to release her from her confines. The aides came to perform Shay's after care, much to Edward's displeasure. He preferred to do that.

Just as Edward started to put me away, a light, breathy moan came from behind the cameras and Edward turned to see who it was.

_Holy shit! Was that...was she...? It couldn't be her...could it? No! That wasn't... It was!_

Edward took a second to realize who was there, staring at him with hungry, yet hateful, eyes. When the recognition hit him, his mouth dropped open.

Hot puss had been there the whole time, watching us, commanding us..**.**

* * *

**So...are you hot? Are you all bothered? Are you going to go wake up the significant other or break out the toy drawer? HELL YEAH! Get your O! While you're at it, drop me a line and let our beloved Rod and Edward know what you thought of the chapter! Until next time! SMOOCHES!  
**


	9. Chapter 9 Switching Roles

**So, look who's back! And he won't be taking another hiatus like before. I finished 2 other stories (minus their epilogues but they can wait). I already have the next few chapters planned out and will be working on the next one soon. I actually have a set date to get it out by for something special, but I can't say what special thing exactly. **

**Now, this chapter is for a delicious lady I've recently become engaged to on facebook, lol. She asked and who was I to turn her down when the diamond in the ring was shaped like a peen? I met Nyddi when I started reading her story Broken Headboards, Power Panties, and Penis Charms. Seriously ya'll, you HAVE to go read this story! She also has two spinoffs of it to cover Rose and Emmett's story and Alice and Jasper's story. Broken Headboards is still pretty low in the chapter count so get in while the earth is still freshly tilled under it. Really, it's fucking hot! You can find her on here http:/ www. fanfiction. net/u/619762/ and on Facebook at http:/ www. facebook. com/people/ Nyddi-Torrid-Malfunction /100002206752559 (remember to remove the spaces). She's also on Twitter and Tumblr under Nyddi. **

**Ok, so, totally go check Nyddi out and start your own romance with her. She loves all the love and adoration, I'm sure of it lol. And Nyddi...prepare to throb like I told you you would! FLUV YOU!**

**Thanks go to preciousfairymom80 who beta'd this like a stealthy ninja, somehow keeping her kiddos from seeing or hearing any of the naughtiness that is about to commence. FLUV YOU HARD MY WIFEY!**

**Remember, too, that I don't own Twilight or the characters, but I do own the Penis POV!**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 9

_Previously:_

_Just as Edward started to put me away, a light, breathy moan came from behind the cameras and Edward turned to see who it was. _

Holy shit! Was that...was she...? It couldn't be her...could it? No! That wasn't... It was!

_Edward took a second to realize who was there, staring at him with hungry, yet hateful, eyes. When the recognition hit him, his mouth dropped open._

_Hot puss had been there the whole time, watching us, commanding us..._

Edward finally got his shit together, after Bella had walked off, because I poked him in the thigh trying to spur him into chasing after her. Edward started down the path she had disappeared, not even caring that he was still in his set attire. Rounding a corner, I found myself face to face with Hot Puss as Edward almost knocked her over.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry," Edward said as he gripped her arms to keep her from falling. That would not be the appropriate greeting for her at all. Not if Edward still held hope of getting her in his bed.

Hot Puss just stood there in front of me, smirking her pretty curly haired self at me, or did she suffer from alopecia? Either way, haired or hairless, I wanted to separate those smirking lips and slide myself in. Just as I was about to start my suave moves, sweet talk her into playing poke the pussy, hide the peen, see who can make the other lose it first, Bella, Hot Puss's owner, had to open her snide little mouth and take my fun away.

I knew what would make her moan though; I knew how to keep her quiet. All I had to do was shove myself in her pretty little mouth. I knew she would moan over me. Just moan as she took me balls deep, my brothers resting on her chin.

But the words she spoke were like ice, cutting through me, making my brothers blue with cold.

"Let me, the fuck, go," Bella seethed.

Edward slowly released her arms and backed up, his arms raised up defensively as he took a step back. I cowered, trying to crawl back up inside his body, as Bella's eyes were alive with fire. There was a fury there that made no sense. What had we done to her? She was just our tutor back in the day, right?

"You do _not_ touch me, got it?" she spat at us. "You _work_ for me, for as long as I want you to, as long as I'm allowing Volturi Videos access to you when they need you, but your ass is mine!" Bella was growling, her body shaking.

What in the fuck was she talking about? We didn't work for her, we worked for Volturi Videos, our contract said so. Bella was just borrowing us, using us in a few of her videos, then we'd be going back. Shit, our contract with her said that…right? I'd make Edward check when we got home.

"I don't understand, Bella, I don't work for you," Edward said suddenly. I guess the wheels were churning in his head too.

"You damn sure do, and I'm going to make sure that I get my pa…" Bella cut off suddenly, not finishing what she had started to say.

"Oh hey, Nyddi!" Bella said in a suddenly sweet voice as she looked over Edward's shoulder.

Edward slowly turned and I peeked out of my hiding spot as I took in a luscious, tall, dark, and gorgeous woman walking towards us. Her six inch black stiletto thigh high boots clicked deliciously across the concrete floor. Her body was barely covered by a black leather bra and panty set. Only, there wasn't much to them. The bra actually just outlined her breasts, which hung and swung freely with each sway of her slender hips. Her nipples were covered with black electrical tape, done in an x shape, like they marked the treasure spots. The shoulder straps moved up into a black leather collar. Oh how I wanted have Edward pull on it as he guided her mouth over me. The panties were a series of straps of leather, joined together by small metal rings and rivets. The straps came together at her slit, just barely covering it and the goods that lay beneath.

Her boots, they actually had me fucking panting. _Yeah, I know, a dick panting…well I was!_ They were shiny black leather, thigh high, six inch stiletto, and the tops of the boots moved upward into a garter, with the belt slung low on this goddess's hips.

Finally, I allowed myself to take in more of her, to really look at her. Her skin was creamy looking, with mocha coloring. I wanted to lick her and see if she tasted like mocha, too. Her hair was long and black, hanging in loose waves over her shoulders and down her back. Her face was slightly elongated, giving her angular features that made her exotic looking. Her eyes were almond shaped and her brows perfectly accentuated them. Looking closer, I tried to discern the color. Were they dark brown? Were they black? No matter the color, they looked like liquid dark chocolate and I suddenly wondered if I could somehow taste them.

Her lips were full and pouty, curving at the sides into a natural smirk. I actually drooled on myself as she licked them. That was when I noticed her tongue ring. _What the fuck! Was her tongue ring…it was! It fucking was! Her tongue ring top ball was a fucking dick spread out across her tongue! Holy shit! Did that mean she loved to suck dick? If so, I was the dick for her. Come to Rod baby._

Nyddi smirked down at me, almost as if she busted me staring, and that was when I noticed that I was saluting her. _Shit, Hot Puss was going to be mad at me! Oh fuck it! This exotic fuckhot woman strutting up to me had sprung me from my hidey hole, and I wanted to hide in _her_ hole!_

"Nyddi, darling," Bella greeted her, kissing her on each cheek. "I want you to meet our newest star, Edward." Bella said, motioning to Edward and me.

_Newest star? Edward was so going to check out that contract when we got home._

"Nice to meet you, Nyddi," Edward said, being a gentleman and taking her hand, kissing the knuckles gently.

"Please, the pleasure is all mine," Nyddi said in a cum inducing voice, full of a New York accent. Her voice was like a phone sex Rosie Perez, all delicious and tantalizing. _Fuck! It felt like she actually caressed my brothers when she spoke, all velvety and shit!_

"I do hope we will get a chance to work together in the near future," Edward purred at her, all croony like he wanted to court her or something when I just wanted to fuck her senseless.

Nyddi quirked an eyebrow at Bella, then looked back at us.

"Oh, Edward, I forgot to tell you, you're filming twice today," Bella said all innocently, but her eyes told us that it was intentionally left out of our schedule.

"Nyddi, could you show him to Stage C, the bedroom set. And, Edward, darling, make sure to shower and change into the outfit that I had placed in your dressing room. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some things to attend to," Bella quickly clicked away on her heels and I was left speechless. I swear, I grew a fucking jaw and it was on the floor. _A double feature kind of day? What did she think I was? Hercu-peen or something? Or was I Spidey-peen, or Super-peen? I had it, I was The Incredible Peen! Shit! Get it together, Rod. You can do this. You've fucked like five times in one day before, back to back a few of the times. You can do it!_

After my little pep talk, I looked up to see Nyddi eye fucking Edward and him actually returning the look. Then, he offered her his arm and she gladly took it, leading him off to Stage C.

Once we knew where it was, Edward excused himself and went back to his dressing room to shower and change. Peeling the leather pants off of me was great. I finally felt like I could breathe again. And then he made sure I was sparkling clean in the shower, even massaging me some to prepare me for what was about to happen. God, I hadn't worked like this since I first started. Stars didn't get treated like this. It almost felt as if Hot Puss and Bella were punishing us for something, but what could it be?

I got lost in thought, trying to figure it out, but was snapped back to reality when I saw the _outfit_ that had been set out for us. _How had we missed this shit when we came back in the room?_

Edward was holding up a black leather thong, complete with peen pouch, and four leather cuffs, along with a leather collar. The cuffs and collar had rings attached to them. He was about to storm out of the room and demand an explanation when an assistant knocked on the door and told him he had three minutes to get on set.

Huffing, he dressed in a hurry, strapping on the cuffs and collar, and nestling me in the pouch. I had to admit, it felt pretty good, but still, I was very unsettled by it and was worried about what was going to happen on set.

Edward threw on a robe and walked out of the dressing room, the assistant grabbing his arm and yanking him toward Stage C while I just hung out in the built in hammock and swung away. _Just needed some ocean waves, a cool breeze, a touch of sand, and Hot Puss serving me…_

When we entered, the assistant told Edward to just play along and improvise, but that Nyddi would lead the scene. I was fine with that because we have improvised before. But then I took in the set and started quivering in my pouch. _Please God, help me_.

While there was a bed in the center of the set, the walls surround it looked more like a dungeon set for medieval torture than a sweet loving bedroom scene. The faux brick walls looked dark, dank, wet… The only wet I wanted to explore at the moment was Nyddi. _SHIT!_ _What in the hell have we gotten ourselves into?_ I no longer felt like The Incredible Peen, instead, the remnants of him after the big, bulging, green muscles faded away.

The assistant tugged on Edward's arm, moving his unyielding body to the set. The robe was removed and there we stood, in submissive gear, before Nyddi in all her dominating power. I quivered, trying to shrink back into Edward's body, trying to hide from the leather flogger that she was wielding, standing there in her fucking sexy outfit. _Shit, I started to stand up because of that damned outfit!_ _Get soft! Get soft! If I can't get hard then we can't be forced to do this! Get soft! Old grannies, dead puppies, nasty pussy…FUCK! Not working, not working, getting harder, standing up more… The leather disappearing between Nyddi's thighs…harder and harder… NO! Dead kittens, Oprah naked, Betty White naked. NOT WORKING! Mayday! Mayday! Edward, run for your life and take me with you!_

Someone yelled 'quiet on the set,' and the lights around us dimmed. Then someone yelled 'action,' and my world began to reel. Maybe if she just went easy on us we could get through this. _Maybe, please?_

Nyddi whipped the flogger through the air, smacking it into her thigh high boot and Edward jumped at the sound.

"Slave, here, now!" Nyddi commanded, pointing at the floor in front of her as she stood by the bed.

Edward swallowed audibly and then moved forward, the metal links clinking and clanging with each step. I was fucking rigid and couldn't do anything to stop it, standing straight up like I was surrendering. _Fuck, hang a white flag from me if you must, but this puss was too hot to say no to at the moment._

Edward stopped right before her, on the exact spot she pointed out.

"Knees, now!" Nyddi commanded again and Edward complied, dropping down to the floor making me bounce with the sudden altitude change.

"Such a good little pet you are, such a fine little submissive. I knew I was right to make you mine," Nyddi purred as she began to run her fingers through Edward's hair. The tingles of it reached all the way down to me and my brothers, making us jerk and twitch with anticipation of our own petting. _God please let her be gentle with me_.

"Now, no talking unless I tell you to speak, is that clear?"

"Yes, Nyddi," Edward said, and it sounded like he was being intentionally defiant, not calling her mistress.

"Yes, Nyddi what?" she asked, yanking his hair into her fist.

"Yes, Mistress Nyddi," Edward almost growled out.

"Good boy, good pet," she purred as she resumed petting him. _Pet me, please?_

Edward let out a deep sigh as he realized that we could get through this if he just followed her commands and played the part to a T.

"Now, my sweet little kitten," _Wait, what the fuck? _Kitten_, is she fucking kidding me?_ "I seemed to have gotten my pretty boots dirty and I need you to clean them up, can you do that for me?" she asked in her purring tone.

Edward nodded and looked around for a towel or something with which to clean them off, but my eye was trained directly above me, on the delicious leather covered apex that I wanted to crawl in to. _Please be a good boy, Edward. I want to taste her, see if she tastes as good as I imagine._

"No, my dear boy, you're mistaken. You need to clean them with your tongue," she explained as she pushed her right leg forward, tapping the toe of the boot on the floor.

Edward huffed slightly, then leaned forward, hiding my view of the power puss. He slowly extended his tongue and began to lick a line from the toe of her boot upwards.

"I can't hear you enjoying yourself, sweet one," she crooned at us and Edward began to make moaning noises as he licked further and further north.

Rising back onto his knees, from his hands, he reached the top of the right boot and Nyddi pushed him back by his forehead, forcing him to sit on his heels. I felt one of the loops on an ankle cuff dig sharply into one of my brothers and I hissed, just as Edward bit his matching hiss back. _Damn that hurt!_

"Now the other one, and let me hear how much you enjoy it," she said, a sharp tone punctuating the last words.

Edward dropped back to his hands and licked the other boot in the same manner, making his moans louder as he began to thrust his hips, and me, forward as if he was getting off on licking her shoes. They were fucking hot so maybe he was…

When Edward finished, Nyddi grabbed his chin while his tongue was still sticking out, bending down to suck on it. Edward moaned for real this time, and I think I moaned too… _If dicks could moan that is. Whatever it is that we could do, I fucking did it, just imaging her sucking on me like she sucked on his tongue got me even harder, if it was possible. _

"See, I knew you loved being a dirty little slave, I knew you loved licking up my mess. Let's see how good of a mess maid you really are," she said as she suddenly released his face, but grabbed the hair on the back of his head, fisting it roughly.

Edward cried out from the sudden pain and then the cry was muffled…by her PUSS! Nyddi had grabbed his head and shoved it forward into her crotch, moving it around.

"Lick it up, lick up the mess you made," she demanded and Edward started licking, sucking, and cleaning up her juices that somehow were already soaking the leather of the panties.

Her scent began to invade my general vicinity and I began to drool, my own juices seeping from my mouth, dampening the pouch I was still hiding in.

Edward was licking like a madman, eating her through the leather, and maybe even the leather too. But, before he could go too far, before he could enjoy himself too much, Nyddi pulled him back by his hair. He was gasping for air like he had been suffocated by puss, but the wild look in his eyes made it seem that he had enjoyed it. _Fuck, I wanna be suffocated by puss! I never get short of breath like him! Give me a chance. Pretty please, Mistress Nyddi. I can be better than him! Let me show you!_

God I was begging like a fucking dog for a steak, but the puss steak above me had me ready to sit, beg, roll over, and play flagpole.

Nyddi resumed petting Edward's hair, cooing words of adoration.

"Oh, such a good little pet, you know how to please your mistress, don't you? Now, let's see how much you can behave while pleasing me. Get on the bed, hands and knees, facing the headboard," Nyddi ordered Edward and he listened, quickly getting into position.

I realized that the position that we were in had Edward's ass pointed almost directly at camera. _What the fuck? Was this scene supposed to be a humiliation for us? What in the fuck was going on?_ _At least our asshole was still covered. Wait…no it wasn't!_ Nyddi had just cut off the leather thong and freed me from my protective pouch. _Well this was different._

Edward tried to look down at the bed but his eyes wandered, as did my eye, and we watched as Nyddi pulled a dildo off of a shelf and began to approach us, her heels clicking ominously on the floor.

"Spit on this, Pet," Nyddi commanded and Edward did as she said, spitting hesitantly on the offending tool before him, keeping his eyes trained on her and that _thing_ as she moved around some more.

I began to pray that he could clench enough to keep us from being violated, but my prayers weren't needed as Nyddi climbed onto the bed and placed the dildo onto Edward's back, directly above me, then straddled him, sinking down with a breathy moan.

She was facing the cameras as she began to rock and bounce on us, making me bounce in time, smacking against Edward's stomach with each rise, and almost kissing the bed spread with each fall. _Ok, this isn't so bad. Just play good, Edward, and we'll make it out of this intact. _

Nyddi's bouncing increased and I tensed when I felt her hand come down, smacking Edward's ass cheek hard. Edward moaned, secretly enjoying the spanking. He was a closet freak like that, and Nyddi groaned her approval at his enjoyment.

"Yes…good pet…enjoy it…take it…fuck!" she uttered as she bounced harder and harder, her hand coming down again as she rode Edward's back.

The bed squeaked and rocked as she moved on top of us, harder, faster, rougher. More and more she bounced upon us. Then, she began to cry out, her movements ceasing as she rocked and quivered above us. Wetness spread across Edward's back as she came, and came hard. The sweet nectar dripped down his sides, across his abdomen, and started to coat my body. _Closer, closer, closer, oh yes, fuck that shit tastes sweet as fuck!_ I thought, as her juices reached my head, finally allowing me a taste.

Slowly, oh so slowly, she rose up and off the dildo, dropping it onto the bed between Edward's legs. I saw it glistening with her fluids. _Was I a sick dick since I wanted to rub against it? Gather up her scent all over me? Fuck anyone who cared because I wanted to do it even if it did make me a sick dick!_

Nyddi moved off of the bed and grabbed a bottle of water, taking a swallow, then placed it back on the shelf she had grabbed it from. Not even looking at Edward, she began to command him again.

"On your back, Pet. I want your arms and legs spread."

Edward took a deep breath and complied, rolling over, careful to avoid the still wet dildo on the bed. It wasn't that he was offended by its wetness, he just wasn't fond of anything penis shaped other than me. He's a one dick kind of guy.

He moaned as he settled onto his back and stretched his now tight limbs out, reaching the four corners of the bed. We watched as Nyddi picked up a small foam wedge and brought it over to the bed.

"Hips up," she said and Edward lifted them up so she could place the wedge under his ass, lifting me up in the air like a maypole. _Maybe she would wind ribbon around me while she danced around naked… No? Oh well, a peen could dream._

After positioning the wedge, she moved to the headboard and attached the wrist cuffs to chains hanging from it. She repeated the motion with Edward's ankle cuffs and I began to hyperventilate.

_What in the hell was she going to do to us now? The dreaded dildo was still on the bed, practically pointing at our ass. That hole was staying pure if I had anything to say about it. FUCK! I COULDN'T SPEAK! Oh god, Edward. Please listen to me, somehow, someway, get us out of here man! GET US OUT!_

I pleaded with Edward as his eyes grew wide when Nyddi picked up a bottle of lube off of a nearby shelf, bringing it back to the bed. She lubed up the dildo before setting it back on the bed, its glistening coat mocking us. Then, she moved and picked up a dreaded device. The round metal cage came into view and I started to shrink, like literally shrink.

_Mayday! Mayday! SOS! SOS! Peen going down! Cock cage in the vicinity. Revolt! Revolt! Edward! Save me! Save me! Edward…Edward…EDWARD! SAVE YOUR DAMN DICK, NOW!_

As I was pleading with Edward, he began to plead with Nyddi.

"Mistress Nyddi, what are you doing?" she didn't answer as she began to open the devil contraption meant to cage me alive like a zoo exhibit. "Nyddi…Nyddi…Nyddi!" Edward began to yell as she moved closer and closer to me. I was a quivering mess of muscle, quickly softening as she neared. "Nyddi! No! NO! RED! Fucking RED! STOP! I fucking said STOP!" Edward screamed out in guttural growls, sounding more animal than man.

When I felt the cold metal began to touch me, a primal roar sounded above me and I heard wood cracking and snapping. Suddenly, Edward was sitting up, even with the wedge below us, and he smacked the cock cage out of Nyddi's surprised hand. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pushed her down on the bed beside him, growling.

"I. Said. No!" Edward seethed and I felt the bed shaking as Nyddi trembled. The look on Edward's face kept any of the crew from coming closer, and no one yelled cut or anything. I was vaguely aware of the sound of someone running away, a door slamming open then banging closed. But I couldn't care less as I began to smell Nyddi's fresh arousal at being dominated by Edward. Edward seemed to smell it too.

"Oh, you like that, do you? You like being controlled? The dom gets dominated? Well, let's see how good of a _pet_ you are, dear, sweet Nyddi."

"Uncuff my legs, now!" Edward commanded Nyddi and she quivered under his words.

"Yes," she simply said and her hands moved to the cuff closest to her, but Edward's other hand reached out and stopped them.

"Yes, what?" He asked as he pulled her head up to look at him.

"Yes…Master," Nyddi breathed out and the scent of her became heavier in the space. Damn, she really was getting off to this.

"Good girl, now, do as I said and uncuff me," Edward said in a softer voice, realizing that she was going to comply for the moment.

Nyddi reached up with trembling hands and slowly undid the ankle cuff closest to her. Edward kept his grip on her hair as she finally released his leg, then guided her across the foot of the bed, on her hands and knees, to the other cuff, which she removed as well.

When Edward's legs were finally free and I could breathe a happy peen sigh, he got off of the bed, finally releasing Nyddi's hair, and told her to bend over the foot of the bed, her arms spread across the width of it.

"Stay," he ordered her as he released his wrists from the cuffs, chains, and remnants of the broken headboard that hung from each of them.

Nyddi's ass was sticking straight up in the air, put on a pedestal by her 'fuck me' boots. I wanted to bury myself in brown town and get balls deep in that shit, but it would have to wait. Edward had to get our payback first.

I literally groaned looking at her pert ass up in my face. _Don't ask me how I groaned when I don't have vocal chords, I have super peen powers, remember? _

Edward reached up and removed the collar that was still around his neck, dropping it to the floor with a clank. The sound echoed through the sound stage and no one moved or said a word, they just kept rolling film.

Finally free of the slave apparatus, something we would make sure to _never_ wear again, Edward placed his hand on Nyddi's lower back, slowly sliding it up until he found the back of her neck hidden under her flowing hair. Gripping onto it, he leaned over, allowing me to nestle in the crack of Nyddi's ass. _Oh fuck! This shit was fucking comfortable. It's like I'm a hot dog and her cheeks are the bun specially made for me. _I may have twitched once or five times…intentionally that is.

Edward leaned down until his chest was flush with Nyddi's back and nipped at her shoulder with his teeth, making her bite back a gasp of surprise and desire.

"Now, you dirty little cock slut, you filthy little slave, what are your safe words?" Edward asked in a dangerous, yet velvety tone. Oh shit! He means business when he uses that tone. _Oh yeah, oh yeah, this shit is about to be on like donkey kong!_

"Green, yellow, red…_Master_," Nyddi moaned out the last word and I swear my brothers tingled a bit when she did.

Edward kissed her earlobe and slowly stood back up, moving his hand from her neck and trailing it down her arm as he grabbed the cuff with the other hand. He strapped her arm inside the cuff, then grazed his finger across her body to the other arm, repeating the motion. Once he was satisfied that she was secure in the restraints, he stood up and looked around the room, looking for his weapons of choice.

He spotted what he wanted and walked to the shelf, picking up the vibrating egg bullet, a bottle of lube, and a leash. On the way back to the bed, he picked up his discarded collar and dropped it on the bed beside Nyddi's head. She didn't move, didn't speak, damn, she was well trained!

Edward opened the collar and slid it under her neck, moving her hair to the side in order to fasten it. He picked up the leash and clipped it to one of the rings, then let it drape casually across her back.

He undid the buckles of her leather thong and let it drop from her body, revealing the well groomed puss underneath, giving the camera a great view of everything. He tossed it to the side of the room.

He then picked up the lube and squirted it across Nyddi's ass, making sure it dripped down the crack as well. Then, he closed the bottle and set it on the bed before beginning to rub the lube across her cheeks, making them glisten under the set lights.

Off on the side of the sound stage, we heard a door open and close, and heels clicking rapidly across the floor. Edward looked up and saw Bella standing there, the out of breath aide panting by her side. Bella's hands were on her hips and she was glaring daggers at us, but Edward didn't give a fuck. He smirked at her, then returned his attentions to Nyddi.

I, on the other hand, was fearful of Hot Puss never letting me play after we were apparently blatantly disobeying her plans for us. But, no one, and I mean no one, not even Hot Puss, would ever cage me up like that.

I kept staring at Hot Puss, and Bella, and smirked their direction. Yeah, it was my panty soaking peen smirk, and I swear I saw Hot Puss drool some, but then Nyddi moaned in front of me, her puss calling to me, '_oh Rod, oh Rod, come and get me Rod, fill me full of your thick peen meat. Make me cum, Rod_." What kind of peen would I be if I denied her that?

The moan from Nyddi was because Edward had just smacked her ass. I turned my attention back to the available and willing puss before me and watched Edward do his thing, patiently waiting my turn.

"Now, my sweet pet, what made you think you could dominate me?" Edward asked her as he massaged her ass. Nyddi started to say something and his hand rose up and smacked down on the glistening skin, making a sharp smacking sound.

"Did I ask you for an answer? Did I give my little slave permission to speak? Be a good little cock slut and don't speak unless I say you can," Edward crooned to her before spanking her again for no reason.

Nyddi didn't answer, except to bite back a moan. Edward smiled, satisfied, and reached up to pet her head, running his fingers through her hair. I felt Bella and Hot Puss staring us down, but forgot all about it when I saw Edward pick up the dildo that Nyddi had apparently planned on using on us.

He looked at it, passing it between his hands, then put it in front of Nyddi's face.

"Sweet girl, were you planning on using this on me? Answer me," Edward said as he turned the offensive object in front of her face.

"Yes, Master," Nyddi replied in a small voice.

"You do realize that I don't enjoy that sort of thing, don't you, my pet? Answer me."

"Yes, Master," came another soft reply.

"Thank you for being honest, pet, but now, I must punish you for attempting it. I want to hear you, I want you to count these ten out, do you understand? Answer me."

"Yes, Master," Nyddi replied once more.

Edward pulled the dildo back and looked at it, then stepped back from the bed, spreading Nyddi's legs apart until she was wide open for everyone to see. He stood to the side, showing the camera my profile and allowing me the opportunity to look at Bella and Hot Puss, who were seething on the sidelines, an assistant holding them back from coming on the set.

Edward rubbed Nyddi's ass cheeks some, looked up at Bella and smirked, then lifted his arm up in the air and swung the dildo down until it spanked Nyddi's wet pussy, making a smacking sound and causing her to moan out.

"One...," Nyddi groaned but she had apparently forgotten her place. _Oh, Master Eddie boy won't be happy with you, Naughty Nyddi. More punishment for you. How about me up your ass? Edward, please can we punish her that way? It looks nice and tight. Let me be One Eyed Rod, plunderer of the poop chute!_

"Ah, ah, ah…you didn't say Master… Now that isn't being a good little slave, is it?"

Nyddi just shook her head and Edward tsked her, then got a devilish grin on his face.

"I guess you need more punishment then, huh? Does my pet need to be punished? Does she need to be put in her place?" Edward asked and Nyddi just whimpered, knowing not to answer. "Good girl, now, continue being good and count these out right.

Instead of just spanking her with the dildo as he had, he dropped it on the bed and looked around the room, spying a bench against one wall. He walked over and picked it up, careful not to pinch me up with it, then moved back to the bed. He slid it up right behind Nyddi's legs, then grabbed her by the hips and hoisted her up, kicking the bench under her feet. Her ass was now raised up to face level, and she was bent almost in half, her arms still cuffed to the bed.

"Comfortable, pet?" Edward asked and she nodded but didn't speak.

"Good, good girl. Now, remember to count properly," Edward instructed her as he picked the dildo back up, respread her legs, and positioned it between them.

He reached around the outside of her left leg and between them, spreading her pussy wide open with his left hand. I was aware of a cameraman getting closer, moving around on stage to get a better view, but I ignored him and stared straight up at the glorious inviting pussy above me.

Not even giving her a chance to prepare herself, he quickly slapped the dildo upward, spanking her clit hard. Nyddi gasped and her legs quivered, but she quickly counted.

"One, Master!" she called out loudly.

"Good girl, you're learning." Edward smiled to himself and even I had a cheeky grin, but it was quickly replaced with a drooling blow hole when he spanked her clit again with the dildo, hitting it perfectly with the head.

"Two, Master!" Nyddi screamed out. I looked up and saw her juices beginning to leak out of her entrance and wanted to lick them. _I know! I don't have a tongue, but go with me here, ok?_

The next three slaps came in quick succession and Nyddi barely had time to call out the counts, panting and screaming through each one.

Edward paused after the fifth one, sliding the dildo slowly up and down her swollen and throbbing clit, drenching it in her own juices.

Then he pulled it back and slapped her clit once more.

"SIX! MASTER!" Nyddi screamed out as her thighs quivered like they were experiencing a magnitude ten earthquake.

Edward slapped her clit rapidly two more times, making her scream and shake so much I thought she was going to collapse, and Nyddi obeyed the counts, calling them out breathlessly.

The ninth slap sounded and Edward kept the dildo there, pressing it hard into her clit as she moaned out the next count and following master.

"Color, my pet?" Edward asked roughly.

"Green, Master," Nyddi answered in a meek voice, nothing like her commanding one earlier. Both had me pulsating with want and need for her pretty pink pussy.

He paused before the tenth spank, blowing lightly across her soaking slit and throbbing clit, then he pulled his hand back and let the dildo fly with more force than any of the other spanks.

When it impacted with her clit, Nyddi exploded, squirting her juices down her legs as her knees faltered and hit the bed, quivering and unstable.

"Shit, fuck, ten! Ten! Ten, Master!" she screamed out as she rode out the explosive orgasm he had given her.

"Did you just? Oh, you did, didn't you? Did I give you permission to squirt all over me? Did I say you could shoot your juices down at my cock? Did I, pet?" Edward asked in a cold, yet enticing tone.

Edward sighed as Nyddi shook her head, still trembling from the aftermath of the punishment. He kicked the bench to the side, right at Bella and Hot Puss, then smirked in their direction as he pulled Nyddi's legs off the bed, causing her to drop her feet back to the floor. The boots impacted with a resounding thud, and Edward held her hips for a moment to make sure she could stand unassisted. _He really was a sweet master, wasn't he?_

"What am I going to do with you, pet? You are such a bad little cock whore. Can't even follow my directions. Guess I'll have to show you what happens to little fuck slaves who can't follow orders," Edward said with an exaggerated sigh as he moved around the bed. He picked up the dildo again. This time, instead of spanking her with it, he began to slide it up and down her lubed crack, teasing her back entrance with it.

Nyddi moaned and wiggled her hips some, almost begging for it.

"Oh, you like that huh? You like me teasing that naughty ass of yours? Beg, beg for it with your body. Beg for me to fuck you and maybe I will. Come on, little slut, wiggle those hips and show me how much you want me to fuck you."

Nyddi obeyed and began to gyrate her hips, pushing them backwards every time that the head of the dildo came near her puckered hole. On one of the passes, Edward pressed it in some, opening Nyddi up slightly, and she moaned as if it was the greatest thing she had ever felt.

"That's a good girl, good little fuck whore," Edward said as he pushed the dildo in more, Nyddi opening up to take it eagerly.

I was about to need a bucket, I was drooling so much over the sight before me. Fuck that ass, I wanted in her dripping puss more. _Fuck, Edward, enough with the dramatics. Let me in! Open that door and make her accept me! Please?_ I shot Edward my best puppy dog eye and hoped he would do as I begged, but he wasn't paying me any attention. I practically pouted as I realized all of his attention was on Nyddi at the moment.

She was still moaning, still wiggling her hips, and the dildo was rapidly disappearing between her taut, tan cheeks. With one final loud, guttural moan, the dildo was fully flush with her ass, the light peach a sharp contrast against Nyddi's mocha skin. Edward slapped it once for effect, earning a deep groan and another wiggle of Nyddi's hips, then he reached for the leash, which had slipped off of Nyddi's back.

"Be a good girl and keep that in there," he said as he pulled on the leash, making the collar pull against Nyddi's throat some.

"Color?"

"Green," Nyddi groaned out as he tugged on the collar again.

She whimpered, but I saw her ass muscles contracting to hold the device in. Edward smiled in approval, then began to wind the leash around the very base of the dildo, making the leash pull the collar tighter and tighter against her throat. Nyddi moaned as he did so and swayed her hips some more, pleasing both of us with her vibrant display.

"Perfect. See, I knew you could be a good little pet. Would you like your reward now?" Edward asked as he rubbed her still glistening ass cheeks. Nyddi nodded and moaned her answer and Edward finally reached down to acknowledge me.

_Fuck yes! Finally! I get to play, I get to play!_ I sang out as I did my little peen dance, complete with top hat and cane. _Don't ask where I got them from because I don't really know._

Edward gripped me and pumped me a few times, checking to see if I was ready, and ready was I! I wanted to dive head first into the puss, literally and metaphorically speaking.

She was soaked and practically calling for me. "_Rod, please fill me, Rod. Take me like Calgon and make me scream,"_ Nyddi's pussy sang to me, calling me home. What kind of peen would I be if I denied her?

Edward stepped forward, still slowly stroking me, and lined me up with the dripping slit that desired my cream filling. I was a willing Twinkie, ready to expel my insides for her hungry little mouth, too!

Edward smirked at Bella and I winked at Hot Puss, then he plunged me deep into Nyddi's depths, making her scream out in pleasure. Once I was fully seated in the hot, wet hole, Edward spoke in a strained voice.

"Color, sweet slave?" he gritted out, not moving within her.

"Green, green, Master, green!" Nyddi yelled out as she sashayed her hips, making me twitch and wiggle within her.

Edward didn't say another word as he set a relentless pace, pounding into her like he was tenderizing her pussy for dinner on the grill.

In, out. In, out. In, out. I slammed into her cervix with each pass, most likely giving myself a black eye in the process. _Occupational hazard, if you will._

In, out. In, out. In, out. Nyddi's nectar surrounded me, practically drowning me in pools of it as she freely flowed like Niagara Falls. _Heh! Niagara Nyddi is more like it. _

Edward had been gripping Nyddi's hips as he slammed into her over and over again, but he released one and reached for the bullet egg vibrator, turning it on full speed, and pressed it directly onto her overly swollen, throbbing, sensitive clit.

Nyddi screamed out, her back arching as her torso rose off the bed, her arms keeping her from flying completely straight up. She cried out as she clamped down on me, strangling me with her walls as the flood gates opened and Niagara Nyddi released, almost washing me down the River Puss.

I felt like I grew arms as I held on for dear life, not done with her yet. I didn't even feel the need to purge my Twinkie filling.

Edward held the bullet directly on her clit through the orgasm and continued to do so as he fucked her within an inch of my life. Releasing her other hip, he gripped the leash, pulling it tighter, drawing the collar deeper into the flesh of Nyddi's elegant neck.

She gasped and moaned as he pummeled her pussy with me, stamping the Rod Pattinhead seal of approval on her vaginal walls. _This puss would forever be marked as Rod charted territory. My empire expands…_

Just as Edward began to tap the bullet onto her clit in time with our thrusts, I began to feel the queasy feeling deep in my stomach. I knew I was about to make Nyddi's puss into Twinkie filling headquarters.

Edward released the leash, letting Nyddi's head drop back onto the bed and used that hand to press onto the dildo that was still seated deep within her ass. She bucked her hips wildly, another flood of her nectar exploded around me, rocking me like a category five hurricane. The queasy feeling took over and I was suddenly thrust back into the harsh set lights, gasping for release as I squinted to the light change. Edward gripped me roughly, pumping me like a piston, and I soon purged my creamy protein supplement all over Nyddi's back and ass as Edward moaned in a prehistoric manner.

The entire set stayed quiet for a second longer after Edward and I had our big finale, then someone yelled 'cut' and the staff was a flurry of motion and movement.

Someone walked over to us and handed Edward a hot, moist towel to clean up with while two other assistants began to clean Nyddi up and release her from her confines. She stood up once she had been release and walked over to us as Edward slipped on his robe. I was still sticking out proudly, almost like a robber's gun at a heist.

Nyddi kissed Edward softly on the lips as she gently stroked me.

"I'll make sure that a repeat gets scheduled for us, _Master_," Nyddi purred the last word, making erotic shivers run down my spine.

Edward just smiled his panty dropping grin at her and told her that he was looking forward to it. She turned away from us and began to stumble off the set, an assistant helping her after the intense scene.

Finally tucking me away, Edward turned toward where Bella had been standing during the scene. She was still there, still seething, and motioning us over with her tiny little index finger. Edward sauntered over to her, his cocky grin fully plastered across his face. I was sure I was wearing a similar one as I watched Hot Puss turn her back on me. _She'd come around in time, or cum around me in time that is._

"My office, _now_!" Bella fumed as she spun on her heels and stalked off, expecting us to follow right behind her, and what a behind to follow.

Edward finally began to follow her and, after a few twists and turns down various, nondescript hallways, Bella walked through a door labeled with her name.

_Wait, what did that fucking plaque say? Isabella Swan, CEO, Cold Shower Studios? No. Fucking. Way!_ My mouth was on the floor, as was Edward's as we both read the door marker.

But, we were yanked out of our stupor when Bella grabbed Edward's arm and pulled him into the office, slamming and locking the door behind us.

_Oh shit!_

* * *

***Walks back in with hip waders on in order to navigate through the sea of orgasmic bliss that occurred.* Did you like it? Are you happy Rod and COUPward are back? And what is going on with the contract? Didn't Edward have it checked out? Why did Bella lock the office door? Stay tuned for all the answers and more delicious Rod Pattinhead action. **


	10. Chapter 10 Party Hard, and Long

**So, I was approached by Lior, you remember her from a previous chapter...right? She was the one that popped Eddie boy's and Rod's cherries... Anyway, she approached me and told me that her gal Tal, aka Rozi, was about to turn 18 and wanted to know if I could write her a chapter of COUP for a birthday present. And it was perfect because I actually had a minor hole in the story that I was trying to figure out how to fill, and this did it! I hope you are all ready to take another trip with Rod Pattinhead and Edward as they take you back in time on this one... **

***smmiskimen is not responsible for any computers damaged from spontaneous spewing of a drink while reading, and is not responsible for any panties that may require wringing out and washing after reading the exploits of our favorite peen***

**Thanks go to preciousfairymom80 who beta'd this in a pinch for me, since I was on a deadline and needed it quickly. I fluv you my wifey!**

**We all know that even though my initials match the great SM's, I am not her and don't own her shit. But I do own the PEEN POV!**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROZI! I HOPE YOU LOVED THIS CHAPTER AND LIOR FOR ASKING FOR IT!**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 10

_Previously:_

"_My office, _now_!" Bella fumed as she spun on her heels and stalked off, expecting us to follow right behind her, and what a behind to follow. _

_Edward finally began to follow her and, after a few twists and turns down various, nondescript hallways, Bella walked through a door labeled with her name. _

Wait, what did that fucking plaque say? Isabella Swan, CEO, Cold Shower Studios? No. Fucking. Way!_ My mouth was on the floor, as was Edward's as we both read the door marker. _

_But, we were yanked out of our stupor when Bella grabbed Edward's arm and pulled him into the office, slamming and locking the door behind us._

Oh shit!

"What in the _fuck_ do you think you're doing? You don't run this fucking company! I! DO!" Bella screamed at Edward while Hot Puss gave me a decidedly smug look with her arms crossed and a hip stuck out. _ I know, I know. Pussies don't have arms or hips, but she spontaneously grew those things. I swear to you she did!_

"Look here," Edward started to say but Bella cut him off, glaring at him and me in a manner that was just pure evil.

"Shut the fuck up and sit down," Bella seethed at him and he complied, reclining back in the chair while she stormed around the office, not saying a word.

I spied some photo frames on Bella's desk when Edward's robe fell open in the front, and apparently Edward spied them too. He looked over his shoulder and Bella was elbows deep in a filing cabinet so he reached up and grabbed one frame.

Turning it around, he was greeted with a picture of Chief Swan, Bella's dad, and a younger Bella, from when she was in high school, apparently. She had the frizzy hair, the glasses, and a text book clutched to her chest. Looking closer, Edward noticed that the picture was taken in the kitchen of her house back in Forks. It looked familiar too, very familiar.

"You know," Bella sneered, breaking us out of our trance, "you can't just do whatever you want!"

Those words, the way she said them, coupled with the picture of her in her kitchen, brought back a long dead memory...

It was the senior year of high school, finals the following week, and Bella was offering one last cram session on Saturday night for Edward. But, it had to be at her house. He agreed, really wanting to pass his finals that he hadn't prepared for, but then he was wrangled into a pregraduation party at Lior and Lauren's house. How could we say no to it? Especially when there was college puss coming to it since Lauren's older sister was out for the summer and was bringing her friends with her?

So, after much debate, Edward and I decided to forego the study session in favor of uncharted puss territory.

We arrived at Lior and Lauren's house and were immediately welcomed by everyone but them. But given the history with Lior, it was understandable. No worries, I'd been there and hit that. Didn't usually go back for seconds either. Especially not with the college puss buffet that we were presented with.

Edward started checking them out, waiting for me to signal and point the direction for our conquest and point I did when I took in the delicious piece of pussy that was slowly swaying her hips in a seductive manner.

Edward downed his cup of beer, then refilled it from the keg along with another cup for our target, and sauntered over, me proudly standing up for all to see. Once he reached the seductive swaying hips, he wrapped one arm around her to present the cup to her. She spun around and we were greeted with a pair of delicious chocolate eyes, creamy pale caramel skin, and rich coffee colored hair that framed a luscious face. Simply stated, this chick was gorgeous and was practically a walking cavity waiting to happen. I took notice of her extremely large rack just seconds before Edward did, but when he noticed, she smirked.

"I'm up here," she said with a cocky tone as she took the offered cup of beer and swallowed it down quickly before grabbing Edward's cup and drinking it down too.

"Thirsty?" Edward asked, finally looking back to her face after letting his eyes travel down the length of her womanly body, full of the perfect curves set in all the right places. She definitely wasn't a high school chick.

"Just a little, let me go refill this for you," she smiled and turned, strutting off with a shake and a wiggle to her ass. Edward and I watched her go, mesmerized by the goddess who had just stunned us, bouncing our heads with the movement of pert flesh hidden beneath the barely there dress. But we got it together because she was uncharted territory and we had some exploring to do, claims to lay, and an empire to build.

_Oh yeah, this puss is going to be called Rodville when I'm done with it!_

She eyed us and smirked over her shoulder from the makeshift bar set up for the party, then turned with two new drinks in her hand. As she made her way back over to us, she handed Edward his drink and he thanked her with his signature panty dropping crooked smile, then downed the entire thing at once.

_Damn! That shit was stout! I can feel my brother's hairs standing on end from that liquor concoction! _The drink was full of god knows what but we definitely tasted tequila and jager in it. But it wasn't anything we couldn't handle. Nope, tonight was going to be good and the little minx in front of us began to sway her hips once more, twisting to press her delicious derriere right into me. The already super short, skin tight dress she wore began to ride up more and more.

Edward placed his hands on her hips and began to dance with her, grinding me into her ass as he did so, and she appeared to love it, laying back against his chest, giving him a nice view down the front of her dress and straight into her cleavage.

_Oh yeah, this is so going down! And I want to fuck those titties! Edward better let me fuck those things!_ I was getting eager as fuck to explore her civilization, and apparently she was too because with a wink she grabbed Edward's hand and started to make her way towards the stairs.

As we were walking through the foyer to head up the stairs, I was doing my happy peen dance in Edward's pants. No one went upstairs at these parties unless they were going to play a game of hide the sausage. And this sausage was ready to be hidden!

Pushing open the first door she came to, our college goddess pulled us in and shut the door behind her. Edward, being the cocky motherfucker he was, strolled over to the bed and sat down on it, knowing where he wanted to be. But, before any fucking could commence, he had one question for her.

"So, beautiful, what's your name?" Edward asked in his suave voice.

"Tal, but most people call me Rozi," she replied as she sashayed over to us and slipped out of her fuck me heels.

"Rozi, interesting name," Edward began but she interrupted him with a finger over his lips.

"Shh, less talking, more touching," she murmured as she began to kiss and lick along his neck as she fingered the buttons of his shirt, quickly revealing his sculpted chest. _Yeah, we worked out_.

It seemed as if Rozi was eager for some action, and who were we to deny a lady what she apparently wanted? _If this tiger wants to play, we can definitely play with her. Take charge Edward! Take charge!_ I didn't have to tell him, though, because he gripped Rozi's hips and pulled her forward until she was straddling his lap, her dress lifting up and exposing the lack of panties underneath. I growled as Edward spoke.

"Ready, are we?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow as his hand began to drift up her thigh, higher and higher, until his fingertips brushed the well groomed, and dripping wet, pussy that was smiling at us, begging us to come hither.

"Like you aren't?" Rozi asked as she reached down and gripped me through Edward's jeans, almost choking me in her eagerness.

"Easy there, tiger," Edward croaked out as he began to stroke her wet slit. Rozi began to squirm on top of us, lightening her grip on me as she began to stroke me through the offensive denim that was in between us. _Edward? Do I get to get undressed here anytime soon? Yes? No? Please?_

"Mmm," Rozi moaned as she slowly rocked on top of us. "More, please," she said in a breathy voice and Edward knew it was all go for takeoff.

He kept one hand teasing her slit and used the other to grip her waist as he stood up and turned around, but the movement made him slightly dizzy and the three of us tumbled onto the bed. But Rozi didn't act like she minded as the movement caused Edward's fingers to plunge into her wet depths.

Edward groaned as Rozi moaned and I was just begging to be deep in that feisty puss.

"Oh, fuck me!" Rozi cried out as Edward pulled his hand back and pushed it forward again, thrusting his two fingers back into the slick depths, searching out for her magic O spot.

"Don't worry, I plan on it," Edward said, slightly slurred as the amount of alcohol he had consumed started to really get to him. But I was still standing strong. _Ain't nothing going to get me down! I'm the long, hard, always ready Rod Pattinhead!_ _Get ready, Rozi, because I _am_ going to fuck the hell out of your feisty puss!_

Edward kept one hand working the needy puss in front of us as he used his other hand to begin disrobing. He kicked off his shoes, toed off his socks, stepped out of his jeans and used his free hand to remove half of his shirt. He finally pulled his hand out of Rozi's pussy, sucking each finger off before he finished removing his shirt, leaving us in only his boxers. _No, undress me too! I wanna play!_

"Let's see what's under here," he said as he leaned his now nearly naked body over Rozi and pulled the top of her dress down, far enough to expose the beginning of her nipples. The fabric strained over the large mounds and I wanted to be buried between them. _Can they be the bun to my hot dog? Ask her, ask her!_

Apparently Edward was taking too much time admiring her breasts, but in his defense they were mouthwatering, so she arched an eyebrow at him and began to move her hands toward them, cupping them before rolling each of her nipples between her thumbs and index fingers.

That snapped Edward out of it and he took over, removing her hands and replacing them with his own. He was almost like a virgin, molding them and playing with them as if he had never touched breasts before, at least not this big, but he bit back the nerdy chuckle he wanted to let out when he practically slapped them together. However, he finally put on his game face and leaned down to take one of her quickly hardening nipples into his mouth.

The moment his mouth closed over her pert tip, she let out a rushed breath and arched her back toward him, pressing her chest into his face, almost smothering him with her bountiful breasts. I was getting a little jealous of the breast face time and still wanted to be buried in between those titties, and I hoped Edward would get the hint as I did my best acrobatic movements in my cotton prison.

_Please let me dive into the valley of the shadow of breasts! I will walk in bravely. I promise I'll return with great tales of my conquest of the excursion!_

I was salivating for the chance to titty fuck her, and Edward seemed to want it too. He began to crawl up her body, slowly kissing and licking every inch of skin that was exposed, until he was bent over, with me positioned right below her bouncing balloons.

"I'm going to fuck these then I'm going to fuck you," Edward said and I just shook my head at him. _What was it with seventeen year old boys and their inability to think maturely when presented with titties?_

But I was rendered speechless when he dropped my cotton tent down, allowing me to breathe the fresh air.

"Spit on it," Edward commanded as he began to stroke me and Rozi did it, licking her lips afterward to catch the spittle trail connecting her mouth to my face.

Once I was good and ready, Edward plunged me between the mountainous breasts in front of me. Rozi gripped Edward's hips as he started to thrust slowly, grasping her breasts and smashing them together for leverage. It was a little stiff, as in skin burn stiff, but I forgot all about it when Rozi's tongue darted out and started to lick at my eye every time I moved forward.

_Oh yeah, lick my Cyclops eye, lick it honey! If you lick it just right I may have a protein surprise for you._

Rozi's mouth began to engulf my head each time I was close enough and I swear I went cross eyed, even though I only have one eye, mind you. But somehow I did it. _Yeah, fuck them titties! Fuck them good! Shit! Now I was reduced to a seventeen year old boy's mind, but hey, I was only a seventeen year old peen, so sue me!_

I was getting a bit bored with the titty fucking, and thankfully Edward was too, because he finally moved away from the beautimus boobs and pulled the bottom of her mini dress up around her waist.

"Mmm, yeah, finally," Rozi said with a sly smile as she readily spread her legs to accept us. But, before Edward let me go swimming in the River Puss, he reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out my biohazard suit, guaranteed to protect from anything or any surprise babies.

"You sure about this?" Edward asked as he lined me up with the canal of orgasms that I wanted to venture down.

"Wait, what's your name?" Rozi asked and Edward just smiled at her.

"Edward," he said right before slamming me into her, allowing me to knock on her cervix door. _Knock, knock, knock. Rozi! I'm HOME!_

Rozi screamed out as Edward's hips became flush with her pelvis, and he pulled back slowly, before slamming in again. Then the relentless pace began.

In, out.

In, out.

In, out.

_Damn this puss was tight!_

In, out.

In, out.

In, out.

_I bet she'd feel even better doggie style._

Apparently Edward had the same idea because he lifted up one of her legs and brought it in front of his face, beginning to twist her around onto her stomach while staying seated deep within her. But, before she could fully twist onto her stomach, I felt the promise land of vag engulf me from the position. Rozi was laying on her side, both of her legs pressed together, and Edward had a hold of her thigh, ramming me in with a force I hadn't felt since the Lior grunge fuck.

_Shit man! Don't give me a black eye! I only have one, you know!_

But Edward didn't listen to me as he continued to pound into her, over and over again. Rozi was screaming and her upper body twisted so that her shoulders were flat on the bed. Each time Edward pulled me out, I got a view that made me grin. Rozi's tits were spinning opposite of each other, around and around and around and around. Edward's eyes were glued to the movement and I could only think of one thing to say…

_Helicopter, helicopter, helicopter, helicopter. _

In my titty induced daze, I didn't realize that I was about to purge the contents of my brothers. They had sucked up to me like I was their only hope, and before I knew it, Edward stilled in Rozi's depths as I spewed stream after stream of my hot cream filling.

Before pulling me out, Edward leaned down and kissed Rozi full on the mouth, letting his tongue slide between her lips and tangle with hers. But, in my ever softening state, he realized that I needed to be tended to, and he pulled me out and cleaned me up, discarding the offended suit in the trash.

After getting dressed, Edward, Rozi, and I – now happy in my cotton sleeping bag – headed back downstairs to rejoin the fun. Rozi grabbed another drink but Edward declined knowing that he had to drive home later.

Sitting on the couch, with Rozi on his lap, Edward joined in the conversations with his friends. But something felt off. Rozi seemed to sense it and reached for her purse, bringing out a small metal trinket box. She opened the lid and pulled out a small white tablet with a rainbow printed on one side. She held it between her thumb and forefinger, and told Edward to open up.

"Come on, sugar, this will make you feel _real_ good. And maybe later, we can go for round two…" Rozi suggested as she deposited the pill on Edward's tongue. Being the suave fucker that he is, Edward closed his lips around her fingers and slowly sucked on them, teasing the tips with his tongue as the pill began to dissolve in his mouth.

But, before he could do anything more, before Rozi's fingers were completely out of his mouth, there was an eerie shrieking coming from behind us.

Edward turned to look, causing Rozi's fingers to slip from his lips, and there stood Bella, glasses and frizzy hair in a bun, seething at us. I cowered deep within Edward's pants, fearful of the wrath in her eyes.

"You fucker!" Bella screamed and stormed out of the room, slamming the front door behind her.

* * *

**So...are your computers still functioning after reading this or did you spray your drink at the screen? Also, this chapter leads to a major plot point which will be coming up in the next chapter. I finish my bachelors degree this MONDAY so I should be able to post a lot more, but I'm not going to promise it and let you down. Love you all for reading and I can't wait to see the love you leave for Rod and Edward!  
**


	11. Chapter 11 Putting the Pieces Together

**So, shocked at my quick update? I am too, but then again, I'm done with college and have more time to write in between job hunting and all. Anyone know of a place in or around Atlanta looking for an entry level accounting graduate? Yes? No? Oh well, it was worth the shot anyway.**

**The last chapter set the stage for this one, and I can happily say that this chapter is the beginning of the Hot Puss and Rod escapades. There will be no other puss's dancing around his maypole any time soon. Hope you all are happy about that.**

**Now, thanks go to my beta, bff, and wifey, who is currently cheating on me with her new BF. Preciousfairmom80, Crystal, I still love you even though you chose _him_ over me. HAHAHAHA!**

**Remember, I don't own anything except the peen pov, and quit sending those bills for laptop repairs and ruined panties to me. I'm broke enough as it is! lol! On with the show!**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 11

_Previously:_

"_Come on, sugar, this will make you feel real good. And maybe later, we can go for round two…" Rozi suggested as she deposited the pill on Edward's tongue. Being the suave fucker that he is, Edward closed his lips around her fingers and slowly sucked on them, teasing the tips with his tongue as the pill began to dissolve in his mouth._

_But, before he could do anything more, before Rozi's fingers were completely out of his mouth, there was an eerie shrieking coming from behind us._

_Edward turned to look, causing Rozi's fingers to slip from his lips, and there stood Bella, glasses and frizzy hair in a bun, seething at us. I cowered deep within Edward's pants, fearful of the wrath in her eyes._

"_You fucker!" Bella screamed and stormed out of the room, slamming the front door behind her._

"Fucker!" Bella screeched at Edward, yanking the photo frame out of his hand, and in the process knocked his robe further open, further revealing me.

"Excuse me?" Edward challenged her, sitting up straighter as she sat down behind the desk, a stack of papers in front of her.

"Close your fucking robe, I don't need to see _that_ _thing_ again," Bella commanded and Edward smirked before closing the robe and hiding me. _Bella was looking at me! Happy peen dance! Happy peen dance!_ _Yeah, I totally looked like Carlton from Fresh Prince but I didn't care. White peens can't dance._

"Better?" Edward asked, acid lacing his voice even though he tried to hide it behind his cocky grin. He didn't really play well with others when someone was screeching at him like a banshee.

"Much, now, you weren't listening to a word I said, were you?" Bella retorted in her condescending tone. She had us and we knew it. We hadn't been listening; instead we had been taking a trip down memory lane.

"As I said," Bella started before Edward could even respond, "this is _my_ company and you can't do whatever the fuck you want! I don't know what Volturi Videos let you get away with over there, letting you think you ran the place or something, but that shit doesn't work over here. You do what I say, when I say it, how I require it, and you do it without question!"

"Wait a fucking minute, I know what my contract says and I have a _hard_ limit on shit going in my ass, and I know that is what was planned just a bit ago! Besides, I don't work for _you_, I work for Volturi!" Edward interrupted her, suddenly furious. Hell, we both said no-no to the ass play. That hole was exit only! _The poop shoot only goes one way, babe!_

"Do you, now? Well, let's take a look at your contract, shall we?" Bella began flipping through the pages in front of her and came to the one she wanted. She spun it around and pointed to a section and asked Edward to read it out loud.

"_I, Edward Cullen, agree to terminate my employment with Volturi Videos, voluntarily, and work exclusively for Cold Shower Studios, Inc. With this employment offer, I, Edward Cullen, agree to only produce films for Cold Shower Studios, Inc. In addition, in the event of my contract ending or being terminated, I, Edward Cullen, agree to not work for any other adult film company or franchise for a period of no less than three years._ What the fuck?" Edward yelled, suddenly looking up with a furious expression. "That is not the fucking contract I signed!"

"Look at the initials and the bottom of the page," Bella said in a snidely.

Edward looked and his eyes grew wide. It was all there, his signature and initials, in his handwriting, the indentations still on the paper from the signing.

"This isn't right! This isn't the contract I picked up from my attorney!" Edward stood up with a sudden fury, knocking the chair over behind him. I began to cower up inside of him. I had seen this wrath before and something was about to get broke. _And it sure as hell wasn't going to be me. I refused to be a broke dick._

"No, it isn't. I realized that my assistant had made a mistake, sending over the normal contract when we borrow someone from another company, but I wanted you to work exclusively for me. So, I had a new one drawn up and shipped to your agent and to Volturi Videos. In fact, I was told by your agent, Crystal, that she went over it with you in front of the Volturi brothers. While they didn't want to let you go, I paid a hefty sum for your rights. And you signed it so now, _I own you_." Bella looked up at us, smiling in a sinisterly sweet manner. I swear she grew horns at that moment and had a pitch fork beside her, because she was surely the devil in disguise. Even Hot Puss was looking evil. _And I still wanted to be brothers deep in her, horns and fiery canal of vag be damned._

"You can't do that! You don't own me! No one owns me!" Edward screamed out, pounding his fists on the desk.

"Be that as it may, I still can do it and you signed it so it's legally binding. You have an issue with it, take it up with your attorney and he'll tell you the same thing. But, as I've gotten what I needed out of you, I don't believe that I'll be needing your services anymore. As of this moment, you are no longer an employee of Cold Shower Studios and you need to leave the premises." Bella had her game face on and Hot Puss was sitting pretty between her legs with a 'nanny nanny boo boo' look about her. _Best be careful or I'll poke that smirk right off your slit. _

Hot Puss sneered at my cockiness and Bella turned her back on Edward, dismissing us from her office. Edward, still fuming, tried to get in the last word.

"This isn't over, Bella, not by a long shot. You'll be seeing me again."

"It is over, Edward, now get the fuck off of my property or I'll call security to escort you off."

"Fuck you!" Edward screamed, irate over the entire situation and the threat of security being called. But, Bella didn't respond to his comment like he expected her to. Instead she spun totally around, walked around her desk, and right up to Edward's face. Hot Puss was staring me down, silently challenging me to do something, but I was still slightly cowering at Edward's current mood. I didn't want him abusing me out of frustration.

"No thanks. Been there and done that and it wasn't memorable enough to do it again. Now, get the _fuck_ out of _my_ building!" Bella reached behind Edward and yanked the door open, then placed her hands on his chest and shoved us out of the door, into the hallway.

Edward was seething and his temper got the better of him and he was swinging before he realized it, only recognizing what he had done when his fist went through the sheetrock beside her door. Bella's eyes were wide and her mouth dropped open while Hot Puss turned into Bella's thigh, shaking. I crawled up inside of him, afraid that he wouldn't calm down ever for me to see the light of day or the sight of puss again.

Other office doors opened and people were peering out, curious to watch what was going on like rubberneckers on the highway with a car accident. But instead of giving them any more of a show, Edward pulled his hand out of the drywall and glared at Bella, then turned to walk away. But, before he could fully head back to the dressing room to gather our belongings, he had to say one more thing to Bella.

Looking over his shoulder, he smiled at her in a menacing way. "You _will_ be seeing me again, just remember that."

With those final words, he stalked to the dressing room, discarded the robe and threw his clothes back on. Safely snug in my banana hammock, I decided to emerge from my hidey hole and try to decipher what Bella had meant, saying that she had 'been there and done that.' We hadn't ever fucked her or Hot Puss. I'd definitely remember that, wouldn't I?

Edward stormed out of the building, got into his car, and squealed tires exiting the parking lot and I sat there, racking my brain over what Bella had said.

_Come on, Edward. Help me man! Help me remember! Did we ever fuck her? Did we? Think man! Think!_

"Fuck!" Edward screamed, hitting the steering wheel while at a red light. "Did we ever fuck her? Think man, think!" Edward pleaded with me while looking down. _Well, it isn't like I didn't just ask you the same damn thing, asshole! If I could remember I would. I don't see you remembering anything, now do I? When was the last time we saw her?_

"Shit, when was the last time we saw her? She avoided us at school during finals, didn't she?" _Fucker, I don't know! What do I look like? A brainiac? I'm just a fucking dick! Fuck, I only have one fucking eye! You're the brains behind this operation!_

"Wait, shit, no! The morning of finals, she walked up to us in the hallway, right? I think she did. But the last time I remember really seeing her was at that pregraduation party, when we fucked Rozi." _HOLY SHIT! Fucking A! Edward! Mayday, Edward! Mayday! She was at the fucking party! She saw you sucking on Rozi's fingers when we were supposed to be studying with her! Don't you fucking remember?_

"Wait! She yelled at us at the party!" Edward exclaimed as he started driving again, the light turning green. "We were supposed to study with her that night. And I felt bad about standing her up after seeing her there, after she yelled at us. Did I go after her? What happened?" I couldn't answer Edward because I had fallen back into the flashback that had started in Bella's office, back to when she had appeared and called Edward a fucker.

_(FLASHBACK)_

Everyone at the party grew quiet as Bella stood there, seething at Edward. I was thankfully covered by Rozi's ass so she couldn't shoot daggers at me, willing me to die. Edward just shot her an apologetic grin and shrug, and tried to get up to talk to her, but Rozi refused to move and pulled his face to hers, planting a kiss on his lips right in front of Bella. Edward pushed her back, but not before the front door slammed and Bella's old rickety truck could be heard, firing up out front.

People began to laugh and talk about the scene she had just made, but Edward was pissed at Rozi's actions. She had no right to do what she had done, and he gripped her hips, picked her up while standing up, and deposited her ass on the couch, turning to stalk out of the house. But before he could leave, Mike Newton had stopped him, trying to talk him into staying.

After a ten minute battle with Mike about leaving, Edward finally got out of the party and walked to his car. But he was blocked in. Not wanting to go back into the party to get people to move, he started jogging toward Bella's house. He knew the way; hell everyone did seeing that she was the Chief of Police's daughter. We all knew what house to avoid on our high school prank nights of TPing trees and other juvenile shit.

But, as he jogged, he began to feel weird. Hell, I was feeling woozy too. Figuring it was the alcohol, Edward tried to shrug it off, but the feeling kept coming, harder and faster. Then, to make the night worse, the fucking skies had to open up and dump a deluge on us. Even though it was May, the rain was still freezing cold and we quickly felt the effects of it. My teeth were even chattering. _I know I don't have teeth, don't remind me!_

Finally, Bella's house was in sight, but it felt like it had been at least an hour since we had left the party and Edward and I were feeling really fucked up. Swaying on his feet, Edward stumbled up to Bella's door and began to bang on it with his fist. A moment later, a light came on inside and the door opened, surprising Edward as he had been leaning on it. He fell inside, barely catching himself, but not before he had grabbed Bella in the process.

"What the fuck, Edward?" Bella yelled as she helped right him on his feet. "What in the fuck are you doing here?"

"Came to study," he slightly slurred at her while I shook fiercely in my frozen cotton cage. _I was so fucking cold I had blue balls without even getting worked up!_

"What?" Bella asked looking thoroughly confused. She helped Edward inside and to the kitchen table, shutting and locking the front door behind us. But, as Edward tried to sit down in a chair, he almost fell out of the other side and Bella screamed, running to catch him. "Edward, are you alright? How much did you have to drink?"

"Not much," Edward said with a goofy grin as he looked up at Bella. She had showered and her hair was still wet, hanging down loosely around her face. She was also dressed in navy blue, capri style sleep pants with a matching camisole top. Edward's breath caught, just as mine did and I began to stand up and take notice of Bella, I mean really notice her. "You're beautiful," Edward said as he reached a hand up to tuck some of Bella's hair behind her ear.

"Are you on something?" she asked, sounding uncomfortable at the compliment. But it was true! If Bella looked like this at school then she wouldn't be the geeky girl. Hell, if she looked like this any time out in public, Edward and I would have been all over her, hitting that hot puss for all it was worth. _Heh, hot puss...Hot Puss...yeah, that was what she was and I'm sure that her puss was hot!_

"Dunno," Edward said with a shrug as he tried to get up. Bella helped him, and when he was standing he didn't let her go. Instead, he began to trail his fingers up and down her exposed arms, reveling in the feel of the contact. It was like his fingers were tingling from the touch, and the feeling was moving up his arms and down his body to me.

"Are you sure, Edward? Did someone give you something? I need to know so I can help you."

"Dunno, some pill I think," Edward replied before a violent shiver shook his body and me.

Bella suddenly took notice of how cold we were and she muttered a low oath under her breath and shook her head. Then she started leading us upstairs. _Wait, why were we going upstairs? Did she want us?_ I started to try and prepare myself_,_ but I was too cold to really stand up fully, with my knees shaking and all.

"You need to warm up," Bella said when Edward's hands began to roam as she helped him into the bathroom. She swatted his hands away and bent over to turn on the faucet for the tub, getting the temperature right before turning on the shower head. Edward, spurred on by her bent over state, began to quickly strip and pressed my half hard form up against her barely covered ass.

Bella gasped, then moaned as he gripped her hips and rotated me up against her, grinding away. But, she stood up, and twisted away, quickly realizing that Edward was naked and I was saluting her at half mast. _Give me a minute to warm up, baby, and I'll show you how to slide down the fireman's pole!_

"Get in the shower. I'll go dry your clothes for you." Edward moved to hug her, suddenly feeling the urge to thank her for being nice to him, but she moved out of the way and closed the door behind her.

Edward quickly got into the shower, well as quickly as he could in our fucked up state. What had Rozi given us? Whatever it was, the little bit of contact I had with Bella's clothed ass was better than any contact I had ever experienced. It felt like she was wrapped completely around me, when I was just barely touching her in reality. But, that thought was banished as the water began to dance across my skin, and Edward's, bathing us in a luxurious hot massage.

But all too soon, the water began to run cold, and Edward got out, drying himself, and me, off with a towel Bella had set out for us. Not seeing anything else to wear, Edward wrapped the towel around us, barely covering my mostly hard state, and headed in search of Bella.

He found her, down stairs, leaning on the kitchen counter, her head in her hands. Not saying a word, he tried to walk up behind her, but he stumbled and she turned, hearing us. However, Edward lost his balance due to whatever substance we were on, and the next thing we knew, Bella was pinned between us and the counter, and I was pressed right against her puss, which was covered by the thinnest of cloth. Hell, I could smell her puss, the honey sweet scent of it attacking my nostril. _Which was conveniently also my mouth and eye. Hey! I'm a multi-talented peen!_

"Ed...Edward, what are you doing?" Bella asked, one hand on Edward's chest while the other moved to cup his face since he was looking down. But the moment her hands touched our skin and began to shift slightly, a current started, and it was undeniable and it was full of lust and need and want. Lifting Edward's face up, Bella looked into his green eyes and gasped as he licked his lips, his expression changing from one of simple desire to a full on lusty want.

"Isabella..." Edward murmured and the hand she had placed on his chest slowly dropped, her fingertips gently dragging down the skin, leaving a tumultuous streak of desire in their wake. "God, you're so beautiful," Edward said as the need within him grew even more exponentially when Bella's hand reached the top of the towel I was barely hiding behind. It almost looked like I was trying to wave a white flag of surrender; I was standing up so much and bouncing around, begging for her to notice me.

Bella whimpered slightly when Edward leaned forward and brushed his nose against hers, but ducked her chin when he tried to repeat the gesture with his lips on hers.

"Edward, wait, you aren't thinking clearly," Bella began to say but Edward lifted a hand and placed a finger over her lips, shushing her.

"I mean it, Isabella, you are beautiful," he whispered before quickly dropping his hand and capturing her lips in his.

The electric jolt the contact created had me standing on end, literally, and it felt like someone was caressing me from the inside out as her soft lips, at first unyielding, began to move with Edward's, slowly creating a sensual dance. It almost felt as if her lips were kissing me instead of him, but I was still nice and snug behind the terry cloth curtain. _But the curtain needs to rise so this grand production can begin, with me as the lead! Now showing on Broadway! Rod Pattinhead in The Dance of a Thousand Thrusts! It'll be a sellout! Can you say Tony Award?_

Edward's hands, which had been braced on the counter, trapping Bella in, began to gently roam her body. She was all into it, moaning softly and sighing, until they reached the sides of her breasts, causing her to freeze.

"Stop, Edward, stop for a minute," Bella mumbled around his lips and he pulled back slightly.

"What, you don't want this?" he asked, gently grasping her arms and pulling them up and over his shoulders, where her hands promptly began to tangle in his hair, making him growl lightly.

At the sound of his growl, Bella's puss flooded and I could smell the sweet nectar calling me forth._ I swear it was saying, 'Oh Rod, oh Rod, come and fuck me Rod.'_

Edward swiveled his hips, pressing me into her center, causing her to gasp and her head to drop back at the sensation. But the movement felt like there were a hundred hands all touching me and caressing me at once.

"I...I...I do," Bella mumbled, her face flaming red as she admitted that she wanted him, me, us.

That confirmation was all it took for Edward to press his mouth back over hers as her hands began to comb through his hair. I was sitting there salivating at the sensations and I hadn't even been touched yet, but just wait until I was. I would be one happy peen.

The kissing quickly turned heated as Edward's hands began to roam over Bella's skin once more, drawing the front of her camisole down until her nipples began to peek over the top of the fabric. They were just too pretty to ignore so Edward broke his mouth from Bella's and began to kiss down her jaw, throat, collar bone, until he finally reached her chest, quickly taking one of her nipples into his mouth before she could stop him.

Bella cried out in ecstasy at the sudden sensation and her scream reverberated straight through me, making me vibrate in a sinful way. I wanted her to scream like that for me, because of me. _Come on, Isabella. Let me knock on your cervix's door. Be the corn bread to my hot dog. The gift wrapping to my package._

Bella's hands fisted in Edward's hair, causing him to nibble on her nipple, making her frenzied. Suddenly, instead of a shy kitten, we had a feisty lioness in front of us. Her hands began pawing at Edward's exposed skin, her nails making tracks across the flesh.

Spurred on by her actions, Edward became more aggressive and I was his one peen pep squad. _Let's go, Edward, let's go. Woo Woo! Let's go, Edward, let's go! Give me a S! Give me an E! Give me an X! What's that spell? SEX! Yes please!_

Edward, pushed further by my cheers and pom-poms, began grasping at Bella's sleep pants. She seemed to have the same idea, pulling us closer and assisting him with a shift, a shimmy, and a wiggle to get them down and off of her. She finally released Edward to pull her camisole off, and then stood there blushing, biting her lip. _Oh sweet little Isabella. You have no idea what that look does to me. Here, watch as I show you my dance of seduction._ I began to twitch and bob underneath the towel and Edward knew what I wanted. I wanted her!

He reached up and took Bella's hands and put them on the tuck of the towel, waiting for her to remove the final piece of fabric separating us. Edward's eyes didn't leave hers, even as his lids wavered under the influence. With a held breath, Bella grabbed hold of the towel and pulled slowly until it dropped to the floor. She held his gaze a moment longer before her curiosity got the better of her and she looked down at me, finally. _Hey there, sugar pie. I'm Rod, nice to meet you._ I introduced myself. Edward raised me with manners.

Looking quickly back up at Edward when I jumped to say hi, he broke the silence.

"Isabella, are you sure?" Edward asked her as his fingers descended down her stomach, causing her and me to shiver. The skin on skin contact was driving me nuts, crazier than I had ever felt before. It was like our skin was alive and moving while being touched my multiple people all at once. But I only wanted one set of hands on me at that moment, and her hands were moving my direction.

"Y...yes," she breathed out as Edward's hand parted her soaked folds and began to tease her clit. Her hands slowly, timidly, wrapped around me and I shuddered at the sensation, almost overwhelmed.

Edward wasted no time and plunged two fingers deep into her, making her cry out his name as she about choked me. _Can't breathe! Can't breathe! Release the death grip!_

Edward pulled his fingers out of her tight honey hole and thrust them in again, massaging her clit with his thumb. She moaned and her hands released me to brace herself on his shoulders, the jolt of ten thousand fingers traveled through Edward and into me, making me feel like a cartoon character that had just been smacked by a locomotive. _Doinggggggggg_.

I wanted to dive right into her hot puss, savor the flavors of vag, and Edward had the same idea because he wrapped his free arm around Bella's waist, hoisted her up while still fingering the fuck out of her tight little puss, and laid her across the kitchen table, her ass half hanging off. From this vantage point I could see the promise land. _Table requested for Rod Pattinhead at the pearly gates please. _

Leaning over Bella's prone form, Edward ducked his head and began to lick and kiss her nipples, alternating from one to the other and back. I was just dying to dive head first into my second home, but Edward wanted to hear her scream first. His free hand came down to me, caressing me, preparing me, as his other hand rapidly pounded at the hot puss before us.

Suddenly, Bella's light moans became loud and voracious as her back arched and her thighs clamped down on Edward's arms, signaling her first climax. Before it could even fully pass, Edward quickly removed his dripping fingers and shoved me in rapidly; knocking my head against her cervix and making her orgasm double back for another round of wave riding. He pulled back and rammed me in the cinched canal toward the cervix, making me rap on the door once more. Bella's moans in time with my beats against her set the rhythm and I had to break into song. _Knock, knock, knocking on cervix's door, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Ooooo ooo sweet puss of mine! Oh, oh, oh, oh, sweet puss of mine! Squirt some juices on me, in the name of love, squirt some juices on me! Yeah, I was a total hair band junkie._

The songs wouldn't end and neither did our relentless pace. The feeling of Bella's puss wrapped tightly around my polska kielbasa was pure heaven, and somehow it felt better than it ever had. I swear it was like there were fingers deep in her puss, touching, caressing, and massaging me every time I dove head first in or slid balls first out. It was seriously indescribable.

Bella's hands grasped onto Edward's shoulders as he thrust me deeper and deeper into her, embossing my logo onto her walls. But, somehow, I felt myself beginning to lose it. The sensation was too much, and I was on total sensory overload. _Danger, Edward Cullen, danger! The peen is about to purge! All hands to the puss! Time to launch the orgasm missle._

Edward must have heard my cries because he slid a hand between the slapping, sweaty skin and began to vigorously rub Bella's clit, making sure that she came again before I fully went into my final tailspin, turning her puss into a Twinkie.

Just as Bella began to cry out Edward's name, right as her walls squeezed me like a vice grip, I felt my brothers suck up to me, emptying my stomach into her, stuffing her full of protein goodness. Edward cried out with Bella, calling out her name. And suddenly, the world was still but I still felt like I was being caressed and massaged. _It was like being in the ocean all day then going home, I still felt the waves of pleasure rocking my boat._ _I don't want to leave, Edward! No, let's stay one more day! Please, Edward, please!_

Edward slowly slid out and Bella lay there for a minute not saying anything. Then she quietly rolled off the side of the table, grabbed the towel Edward had worn downstairs, and began to pick up her clothes while Edward and I caught our breath. _Sex was a workout! I'm telling you! You think it's rough as a person, try being the peen!_

Suddenly, the buzzer sounded on the dryer and Bella screamed, dropping her clothes back to the floor. Realizing what the sound was, she quickly wrapped the towel around herself and went around the corner to retrieve Edward's dried clothes. She called out to him and we followed in the direction she had disappeared to, stupid grins on our faces.

Coming around the corner, she handed Edward the clothes and pointed to a door, stating that it was a half bathroom that he could get dressed in and that she was going to run upstairs to get changed.

Awkwardly, as if she was second guessing herself, she stood up on her tippy toes and kissed Edward softly on the lips, then turned and disappeared, dashing into the kitchen and then up the stairs. Edward quickly got dressed, still feeling weird. The clothes caused his skin to feel as if something, or someone, was constantly touching it, and we weren't used to the sensation.

Coming out of the bathroom, we started to head into the kitchen to wait for Bella, but the front door opened and the familiar sound of Chief Swan's voice rang out, calling for Bella. _Shit! Run! It's the po-po! Don't let him catch us after porking is precious little girl! Run, Edward, run!_

Edward, scared shitless, looked around and spotted the back door. Quietly turning the handle, he was able to slip us outside, where he promptly began to run as if Chief Swan was right behind us with a loaded gun, and in reality he really was, just still in the house.

Not stopping until he made it home, Edward dove us under the covers of his bed after drinking half a bottle of Nyquil, hoping to make us pass out and get through whatever was going on. We didn't get out of bed until Sunday night, everything that had happened since end of school on Friday ceased to exist.

The following Monday at school, Bella had approached us, a shy look on her face as she smiled sweetly. Her normal frizzy bun had been exchanged for a sleek pony tail and her clothes didn't seem as frumpy. She wasn't even wearing her normal black framed glasses. All in all, she looked pretty damn good, but she was still dorky Bella to Edward.

"Hi, Edward," she said softly, leaning against the locker beside him.

"Um, hi, Isabella," Edward replied, not really paying her attention as he pulled some of his books out of his locker to turn them in during class.

"Are you ready for your finals?"

"I hope so; I really didn't get to study since I forgot that we were supposed to meet up Saturday night at your place. I'm sorry I didn't make it. Forgive me?" Edward replied, honestly feeling bad that he hadn't made it over like he had promised, and Bella's face screwed up into a look of pure rage and hatred. She spun around and stormed down the hall, not saying a word at all.

Edward just shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what was wrong with her, and went about his day. He felt like he was forgetting something, but couldn't remember much of anything from the entire weekend. After that weekend, he had vowed never to trust any pills, or possible drugs, in the future.

_(Present day)_

Realizing what had happened, remembering it now, and knowing that it was the drugs and Nyquil combination that made us initially forget what had happened, made me dickpalm myself. _Jesus fucking Christ! No wonder Hot Puss hates me and Bella hates Edward! Shit! Fucking A, Edward! Way to fucking go, dipshit! We have to figure out a way to fix this shit, like now! _

Edward, apparently having the same flashback as I did, facepalmed himself as he pulled into his parking space under the building we lived in.

"Jesus fucking Christ! No wonder Bella hates me! Fucking A! Way to fucking go, asshole. I've got to fix this shit, like now!"

With that, Edward got out of the car and headed inside, carrying me safely inside my cotton sleeping bag, determined to find a way to make it up to Bella so we could have at least one more go with the hottest puss we had ever fucked.

* * *

**So, in case some of you were wondering, the drug that Edward was given was ecstasy. In my wild days of youth, I had my experience with it and I can tell you that I've forgotten some things I've done on it, only remembering them after when someone tripped the memory. Now starts the big battle of Rod vs. Hot Puss, Edward vs. Bella. And I hope you are all ready for the ride. Reviews get you Rod knocking at your cervix's door!  
**


	12. Chapter 12 Road Blocks

**So I'm back and this one is the first chapter that doesn't have Edward and Rod doing other chicks! So YAY! But, now starts the Bella/Hot Puss issues so be prepared. The comedy will still come and I promise there will be laughs and a lot of hotness still to come!**

**Thanks go to preciousfairymom80 who is my beta, bestie, wifey, agent, manager, marketing director, promoter, and everything else she can be to me. Also, thanks to her main squeeze Nick who helped with a few of Rod's lines in this. Nick, just fuck her already lmao! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I love you Crystal!**

**Don't own, at least not Edward and Bella, but I do own Rod and the Peen POV!**

**BIG NEWS BELOW, PLEASE READ THE BOTTOM A/N!**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 12

_Previously:_

_Edward, apparently having the same flashback as I did, facepalmed himself as he pulled into his parking space under the building we lived in. _

"_Jesus fucking Christ! No wonder Bella hates me! Fucking A! Way to fucking go, asshole. I've got to fix this shit, like now!"_

_With that, Edward got out of the car and headed inside, carrying me safely inside my cotton sleeping bag, determined to find a way to make it up to Bella so we could have at least one more go with the hottest puss we had ever fucked._

Once inside, Edward emptied a bottle of whiskey into his gut, something I would pay for later when he pissed the fiery shit out of me, and promptly passed out. The next morning, amazingly hangover free, he placed a call to Crystal to see what she said about the contract that Bella had swindled him into, but Crystal said that she went over it with him in front of the Volturi brothers, and that while they were sad to see him go, it was up to him and that Edward had chosen the new contract.

Pissed off over her response, Edward put a call into Garrett, his lawyer, but Garrett was currently in a meeting so he decided to just drive over there to talk to him in person. Walking inside, Edward headed straight upstairs to Garrett's office, determined to see him once he was out of his meeting. As he reached Garrett's office, he spotted Debbie.

_Oh Debbie, Oh Debbie! Maybe Edward would let me play? It could be a good grunge fucking. Please, Edward? Ooh, look, Debbie's eyeing me. She wants me to service her in the quiet room again. Come on, Edward, let's get this frustration out!_

But Edward wouldn't listen to me. He did smile pleasantly at Debbie, making her blush as his signature panty dropping grin spread across his face.

"H...hi, Mr. Cullen," Debbie blushed.

"Debbie, sweetheart, aren't we on a first name basis now? I mean after all, we do _know_ each other quite well, _inside_ and out," Edward smirked as he said it, knowing he would get her all flustered.

_Come on, Edward. Let me get wet again. My skin's drying out. You know, from the mushroom to my balls, til the jizz runs down her jaw, on her knees she crawls, I'll make her skeet, skeet, mother fucker!_

Edward totally wasn't listening to me, instead, he was making lust eyes at Debbie, making her even more flushed and flustered.

"Sorry, um, Edward. Ga...Garrett's in a meeting right now. Do you mind waiting? Debbie asked, clearly bothered by _my_ presence.

"Not at all sweets, not at all. At least there's a great view while I wait," Edward said, being the suave fucker he is.

Debbie almost choked as he said that and tried to busy herself with her work, but she kept stealing glances at me the entire time. _Yeah, Debbie, I want you too but this stingy fucker up there who's holding me hostage is apparently too high strung to let me come play in your tube slide. Help me convince him? I'll totally tickle your tonsils if you do._

Before I could finish trying to talk Debbie and Edward into giving me some action, Garrett strolled into the office and took us back to his desk.

"Edward, my man, what can I do for you?" Garrett asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"I want to know what's up with this contract," Edward said, flinging the copy he had found across the desk at him.

Garrett took a few minutes, reading over it, then shook his head while letting out a breath.

"Damn man, this thing is solid as hell. But this isn't the one that I gave you the other week. Where'd you get this one from?"

"Apparently this is the one I signed. Something about the first one being the wrong contract so Bella sent the right one over to Volturi Videos. I talked to my agent and she said that she went over it with me and that I agreed to it. But the thing is, is that I don't remember it at all. I had just gotten the news about an old friend passing and was on my way to her funeral. Can't I get out of this shit by citing emotional duress or some shit?"

Aini's passing had been hard on both of us, and I wasn't even aware of what was going on at that meeting, and I'm normally more aware than the average peen.

"Look, I'll see what I can find out, but from what I see, this thing will hold up in court, if you decided to take it that way. But, give me a few days and I'll see what I can find. Want me to check up on this Bella Swan chick and see if I can find any dirt on her? Maybe she'll let you out of the contract if you have something over her head."

"As tempting as that is, I'd rather not resort to those kind of tactics. There's history with this one."

"History?" Garrett asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, long story short, she was my tutor in high school, and one night I stood her up for a study session to go to a party and fuck some random chick. She showed up, pissed at me, but not before I was slipped some ecstasy. That, with the alcohol, made it infinitely worse. I went over to Bella's house to apologize and ended up fucking her, but didn't remember it until yesterday, when she made an offhanded comment that triggered the memory."

"Well, if I was a chick, I'd be pissed about that too. But not enough to hold onto it for this long and get this kind of retribution for it. Think there was more to it than just a fuck, on her end I mean?"

"Hell, I don't know. Maybe, probably not. But you might be right. No matter what, I'm going to find some way to make it up to her, somehow. But first, I need this shit taken care of because I need to work."

"Well, might want to hit those want ads while I see what I can do."

"Ok, thanks, man. I'll talk to you in a few days," Edward said as he and Garrett stood up. They shook hands and headed out of the office.

Debbie watched us heading out and spoke right before we were totally out of the door.

"Is there _anything_ else I can _do_ for you, Edward?" Debbie asked as she leaned over the desk slightly, giving us a delicious view of her cleavage. _Yeah, Edward. Let her _do_ something for us. You know you want it._

"As lovely as that sounds, now isn't the best time, Debbie. But, I'll definitely call you if the circumstances change," he said as he turned back to her, walked over and took her hand, kissing it sweetly as he stared her right in her eyes. I smelled the gush that released from her puss due to Edward's actions.

Satisfied with himself, Edward winked at her, released her now limp hand, and strolled out of the office. He had one more stop to make before heading back home to do just as Garrett suggested, hit the want ads.

Pulling up outside Volturi Videos, Edward was accosted by Stephanie.

"Edward!" she squealed as she ran across the parking lot, her voluptuous breasts bouncing in front of her, almost as if they might bounce right off of her chest if she wasn't careful, or give herself a black eye.

"Stephanie," Edward said with a big smile as he caught her in his arms. Boy did I miss her 'Steph Jobs.' Maybe I could talk Edward into at least getting one of those.

"Where have you been, baby? I've missed working with you. My tonsils are lonely without you here. Eric and Tyler just don't have what you have," she said as she dropped one hand and began to rub me through Edward's jeans.

_Oh yeah, that feels great. Fuck, Steph, I've missed your mouth and your puss. Edward, can I please taste her again? I need it Edward, I need to work! You can't deprive me now!_

"I've been working over at Cold Shower Studios. But not anymore," Edward said as Stephanie continued to rub all over me, making me stand up and take even more notice of her.

"Oh, well, are you coming back here then?" she asked, her eyes all bright and excited with the prospects.

Her rubbing continued and I began to bend at an unnatural angle. _Um, Edward? Do something man, do it quick. I'm gonna be a broke dick if I bend much more at the current rate of hardening. I'm like epoxy dude, once I begin to set, there's no hope for movement unless you do it ASAP! _

Edward began to feel the uncomfortableness of my current crookedness and gently pried Stephanie's hand from where she was molesting me. I wasn't complaining, but I needed to be in a different position for it to resume.

"Uh, that's what I'm here to talk to Aro, Marcus, and Caius about. Do you know if they're in?" Edward asked.

"I think Marcus is, but Aro and Caius are off doing something. They left about an hour ago," Stephanie informed Edward.

"Ok thanks, Stephanie. I'll see you around, doll," Edward said, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek, but she had other ideas and grasped his face, shoving her tongue in his mouth while she resumed rubbing me through the denim.

Edward kissed her back, but only for a minute before pulling away and removing her hand once more.

"Babe, I don't think Marcus would like talking to me when I'm pointing this loaded weapon right at him," Edward explained.

"Oh, yeah! You're right. Ok, see you around, Sweetie."

With that, Stephanie placed a chaste kiss on Edward's cheek, petted me once more through my confining denim prison, and strutted to her car, apparently done filming for the day.

Edward finally adjusted me and headed inside to talk with Marcus about possibly working at Volturi again. But Marcus just confirmed what Crystal, Garrett, and Bella already had, that he couldn't work for them unless the contract was negated or Bella released him from it, but otherwise, it was binding and legal.

Defeated, Edward hung his head and headed home. But, entering the building to check his mail, we were greeted with the view of Bella's ass in front of us.

_Fuck man! Now's your chance! Beg! Grovel! Kneel, open your mouth, smile, and pray before Hot Puss! Do something, anything, to make her forgive us and give us another chance. I NEED TO WORK! I NEED TO FUCK!_

I was getting adamant about it because Edward had now turned down two stellar fucks and I was rock hard, staring at Bella's ass as she got her mail. She didn't realize we were there at all, talking away on her phone. So of course, we had to eavesdrop.

"Yeah, yeah, Alice. I did like you suggested. The contract was taken care of and the asshole got what was coming to him. He didn't even know what hit him! I wish I could have recorded it for you to see. You wouldn't believe the way he reacted. Ok, well, I gotta go. I'll call you later, ok?"

Bella hung up after a quick goodbye and turned around to walk up the stairs to her apartment, but gasped, dropping her mail in the process as she took in Edward and I standing right behind her.

Being the gentleman that he had been raised, Edward dropped down to retrieve Bella's mail for her while she stood frozen in front of us. As he stood back up, I said hello to Hot Puss.

_Hey there, honey. Oh no, don't turn your back on me. Let me see your beautiful lips. Let me kiss them, stroke them, penetrate them. You know you want me; you know it and can't deny it. You remember how wet I made you before, all those years ago. Well baby, I'm new and improved since then. Let me take you on a Rod Ride. Here, let me clear off a spot for you to sit...ON ME!_

Edward handed Bella her mail back and stepped so close to her that he was totally violating her personal bubble, which I didn't mind because it got me even closer to Hot Puss, who was leaky after my wooing.

"Here, I believe you dropped this," he said in his debonair voice, much different than the one he used with her yesterday.

"Um, thanks," Bella said as she began to turn to dart up the stairs, but Edward wasn't having any of that.

"Hey, can I talk to you about what happened?"

"About what? There's nothing more to say. You fucked up your end of the contract and I was totally in my rights to terminate you over it." Bella was all hoity and shit as she said that, pissing Edward off slightly. Hot Puss was sitting there, her lips sealed and unresponsive to me, other than the leaky faucet syndrome she had developed.

"You know about what. About the past, about what happened that night."

"Oh, so _now _you want to talk about it? Well, sorry, but I don't have time to talk to you, now if you'll excuse me," Bella made to slide past Edward but he reached out to grip her arm, stopping her in her tracks as she shot daggers from hell at Edward with her glare.

"We _need_ to talk."

"You _need_ to let me go...now!" Bella was seething and Edward knew when to back off...sometimes. Releasing her arm he called out to her as she darted up the stairs.

"I'll get you to talk to me sooner or later. You can't hide from me forever. We live in the same building!"

Sighing with frustration, Edward grabbed his mail and slowly headed up the stairs. He paused briefly by Bella's door but decided not to knock, instead heading up to our apartment. As he sat down in front of the computer, he began to look up job sites, but I was still rigid in his pants, calling out to him.

_Edward, Edward, play with me, Edward. Rub my disco stick, let's play some Staying Alive or something for the disco mood. Or better yet...why not surf the free porn sites for some good whacking material. You know you wanna. Come on, Edward. Rub me. Let me show you my gooey genie in my bottle._

Edward finally succumbed to my pressures and unzipped his jeans, retrieving me from the warm den of comfort as he clicked on some bondage porn he found. As he began to stroke me, he started to picture Bella's face on the woman in the video, and soon had his eyes closed as he began to moan her name lightly.

Rub down, twist, rub up, swipe the thumb over my head.

Rub down, twist and clench, rub up, rub the palm around the head.

Over and over, he set the pace as he stroked me harder and faster. But soon, he was moaning Bella's name loudly and I moaned for Hot Puss. Spent, with my jizz all over the desktop, Edward and I realized that we were both totally fucked and that our obsession with Bella and Hot Puss was only getting worse by the day.

* * *

**So, there will be more and I just wanted to let you know that I've started a new story called Cougar Town. Go check it out. Also, Rod and Edward have been nominated in The Tomato Soup Awards so SQUEEEEEEEEE! AND! thecoldshower(.)wordpress(.)com has started to do a weekly Ask the Peen feature with none other than our dear ROD! So, go to the page and look for Ask the Peen. Leave a comment if you have a question you want answered by the peen and new posts are Friday!  
**


	13. Chapter 13 Auditions

**So, I know I'm a little later than I wanted to be, but I was writing a lemony oneshot for Tantalizing Tuesdays for Southern Fan Fic Review. It should hopefully be up soon. Also, I'm going to be writing a picspired lemony oneshot for dirtycheekymonkeys(.)blogspot(.)com that will post on September 28th. Hope you all check it out. **

**In other news, I'm up for multiple Tomato Soup Awards. The voting starts tomorrow (according to the blogspot) and you can find it here thetomatosoupaward(.)blogspot(.)com/p/v-ote(.)html Our beloved Peen, Rod is up for several categories so go vote for your fav peen!**

**Oh, and I'm taking liberties with this chapter as to how stuff goes down below. I know that things really don't occur that way but for the sake of this story, they will go this way.**

**Thanks, eternally, go to preciousfairymom80, who is the yin to my yang, the strawberry to my cheesecake, and the lime and salt to my tequila. I fucking love you bish!**

**Disclaimer: I know I don't own Twilight or anything dealing with it but I do own the peen pov!**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 13

_Oh yea, Hot Puss. I'm going to poke you so deep that you're going to be permanently embossed with my profile. Fuck, yeah. Take me deep. Take me deep, Hot Puss. Fuck you're so tight. _

Edward thrust me in deeper and deeper, harder and harder with each shift of his hips.

"God, Bella, I fucking love fucking your tight pussy," Edward moaned as he thrust his hips faster, bouncing the mattress underneath us as the headboard slammed into the wall with resounding bangs.

_UNF! Fuck, Hot Puss. You taste and feel so good. Fucking better than I ever imagined._

"Shit, Bella. So fucking good. Gonna come, I'm…I'm…aaahhhhhhh!" Edward moaned while I was rendered speechless, hot spurts of my stomach contents surging forth from my mouth, coating me in my own spooge.

BUZZ!

BUZZ!

BUZZ!

BUZZ!

Edward reached over and smacked the alarm clock buzzing on the table as I realized what had just happened. The sheets were covered in my mess and looked like they had had better days, and Bella and Hot Puss were nowhere to be seen. It had all been a dream, a very fucking real dream, but a dream nonetheless.

And they had been happening for a fucking month now. Every fucking night we went to sleep, and every fucking night _they_ appeared. Which meant that every morning saw the need for clean sheets. The building laundry room was getting a serious workout. But, as often as we had been down there, we never saw Bella or Hot Puss make an appearance. Didn't they have panties to wash or some shit?

_Mmmm, Hot Puss…panties…Hot Puss…panties…mmmmmmm._

"No! Down boy! Haven't you made enough of a mess of my sheets lately?" Edward scowled at me and I just gave him the dick eye and tried to loosen myself out some to dispel the blood rush that was currently occurring.

Edward threw some clothes on and stripped the bed, tossing my fouled sheets into the corner of the room before remaking the bed. _Oh, the satin sheets. Those feel especially good against my naked form. Tonight should be fun!_ I thought to myself, standing up some, which caused Edward to groan dejectedly at me. _What? I was only a dick after all. What else was I supposed to do?_

After making the bed, Edward went to his computer to start the daily job hunt, but all he found were lonely office jobs and lowly positions flipping burgers. Don't get me wrong, every job is important. But when you are a former porn star, those kind of jobs really aren't in the same league as the ones you want.

Finally facing the reality that he wouldn't be able to do this alone, Edward picked up the phone and called his agent, Crystal, for help.

"Crystal Fredrick here," she said when the line connected.

"Crystal, it's Edward Cullen. Look, I need your help," he said in his flirtatious voice.

"Edward, honey, I was wondering when you were going to call. Want ads not meeting your needs?"

"Fuck no, and I'm dying for work here. Are there any companies that will take me even with the contract?"

"Even if there were, I wouldn't refer you to them because I could be held liable if Cold Shower Studios found out and decided to take you to court for breach of contract. So, no. But, I do have some other alternatives for you; you interested?"

"What kind of other alternatives?"

"Well, you're an actor, right?"

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything? I can't do the porn industry, remember?" Edward said snidely, not seeing where she was going with her current questions.

"Duh, Edward. Acting isn't just fucking in a porn. There are _real_ actors out there that make even more money than you were and they don't have to get naked."

"Hey! I am a _real_ actor! I can act better than any of those pansy ass fuckers on those damn shampoo drama thingies or on one of those stupid, they're-all-alike, doctor shows."

"I know, sugar. Just had to rile you up some. So I take it you want in on some auditions? And you might want to learn that they are called soap operas not shampoo drama thingies."

"Fine, fuck, yes. Please get me into some auditions. I'm fucking dying to work."

Crystal told Edward she'd call him when she found out details and they ended the call. While it sucked that I was now out of work, at least Edward would be able to, hopefully, and we'd meet some new puss. He wasn't even calling up his old booty calls. And I mean, come on! A dick needs to fuck! It was time to employ the pleading tactics.

_Edward! Come on! I'm on my fucking knees here! I NEED PUSSY! Hot Puss won't return our calls so you need to get me laid, fucker! Come on, pretty, pretty please! I'll be a good dick. I won't purge prematurely anymore. I won't mess up the sheets for a month...week...I mean a few days. Just please let me get some!_

Edward turned a deaf ear to me and went about his day. In fact, it was a whole week before he even looked twice at me. And yes, I made messes of the sheets every single fucking one of those nights too. _Take that, fucker!_ _Let me get laid and you can skimp on the Tide for a while._

Crystal finally called him back two weeks after, and had him an audition for a show that we had to appear at the following day. From what she told us, it was a new show about a guy that lost his house somehow so he turned to prostitution to make money. Sounded like the perfect show for us.

I went to sleep that night a giddy peen, and didn't even mess the sheets, too worried about the audition.

The next day dawned and, as Edward was heading downstairs to go to the audition, I heard them, Bella and Hot Puss. Edward must have heard them too, because he took the stairs two at a time and reached her floor just as she locked her door. She was on the phone and didn't notice us there.

But, when she turned to recheck her door, she spotted us and quickly ended her call, glaring at us the entire time. Even Hot Puss was glaring at me.

"What the fuck do you want?" Bella sneered at Edward.

"I just want to talk to you. Don't you think you at least owe me that much given our history?" Edward countered, inserting his signature grin at the right moment.

"I don't owe you shit. If anything, you're the one that owes me something, mainly an apology, after what you did."

"Well, if you just give me your undivided attention for more than two seconds when you're bitching at me, then maybe I just might apologize, but you'd have to also, for the stunt you pulled with Nyddi and her dildo," Edward countered, crossing his arms and quirking an eyebrow at Bella. I raised _my_ eyebrow, the only one I have, mind you, at Hot Puss, who was trying to ignore me but was failing miserably. _Yeah, I know you're getting wet at our assertiveness. Come on, open those lips up and let me slide right in. I'll be good to you, make you scream my name. It'd be like, 'Oh Rod, Oh Rod!' and you'd love it, baby._

"You got what you deserved!" Bella spat at us.

"That may be your opinion on the matter, but mine is entirely different."

"Just like always. Just like how you came to my house and fucked me, then completely 'forgot' that it happened the following Monday. I'm pretty sure you just wanted to forget it happened."

"That isn't what happened!" Edward screamed and suddenly, a door to the next apartment opened and an older man stuck his head out, glaring at all of us.

"Look, you have your version and I have mine. And I _know_ mine is correct, so if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be."

With that, Bella and Hot Puss spun and marched down the stairs, leaving Edward and I in a daze. _Follow her, coward. Follow her and make them listen. I'll work on Hot Puss, you work on Bella. I _need_ to be in that puss again!_

Apparently Edward took my suggestion because he started down the stairs after Bella, getting into his car and somewhat following her down the road. It did help that we were headed in the same direction. It also helped that Edward just _happened_ to want coffee from the same shop that Bella pulled into.

"What the fuck? Are you following me?" Bella scoffed at Edward and he just smiled.

"Not at all, I just needed to get some coffee," Edward said suavely, as he opened the door and motioned for Bella to enter before him.

She stormed straight to the counter to place her order and Edward slid up beside her.

"Make that two," Edward said to the girl behind the counter, quickly placing a twenty down to pay for both drinks.

"I can pay for my own," Bella said in an unpleasant tone.

"I know, but so can I. What? Are you offended by a nice gesture? Does it bother you when someone does something for you?"

Bella looked like a deer in headlights and Hot Puss, whom I had been watching, wouldn't look my direction.

_Don't worry, mon petite cherie, I'll get you to look at me soon. In fact, I'll get you to take all of me, deep, slowly, and for hours as you moan my name._

"That has nothing to do with it," Bella said in a defensive tone and I think Edward hit a sore spot with her.

_Do it again, hit her spot and make it sore!_ _I can do it internally if you want. Let's play submarine. Dive! Dive! Dive! Release the submersible! Let me explore the depths of cooch cavern, the Great Puss Divide, the unknown caves of puss. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain Rod speaking. We will be diving to a depth of two feet, entering the highly desired cave of wonders, also known as Hot Puss. Fasten your seatbelts because this ride is going to get rough._

"Well then, you're welcome for the coffee," Edward said with a smirk and spun around after grabbing his cup, strutting confidently out of the shop while I looked between his legs for a farewell glance at Hot Puss. She still wouldn't look at me.

Edward got back into his car and headed off towards the audition location. Pulling up, he saw various men and women filing into the building and his hopes dashed.

_Come on you suave fucker, you. You can do this. Besides, maybe there's new, uncharted puss territory in there awaiting discovery from us. Don't be a chicken, you pussy. _

My goading worked and Edward got out of the car, finishing his coffee as he headed inside.

The person working the desk asked Edward his name and for identification, then handed him a clip board with papers to fill out, which just so happened to include work history and experience in the industry.

Edward was, thankfully, honest and returned the clip board to the desk and was handed a script to look over. As he sat there, reading the lines and looking through it, the other men and women in the room were called back one at a time, some quickly returning and leaving, and others not reappearing.

Finally, we were the last in the room and it was our turn, and Edward stood up and followed the short female with black spiky hair, who had introduced herself as Alice. She went over some generalities about what he had to do, then led us into a room where she took a seat at a table with several other people. There was a lanky blonde haired guy who introduced himself as Jasper, and a woman with caramel colored hair named Esme. It was Esme that spoke up after the introductions.

"Edward Cullen, right?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied with a twinge of nervousness in his voice.

"Are you nervous?" she quipped, picking up on it instantly.

"A little. This isn't really my field of expertise."

"I see," she said, glancing down at his paperwork. "From what I see here, you do have experience that would most likely be beneficial to the role. Why don't you read through the lines you were given and we can be the ones to decide if this is your field of expertise, as you put it. Those are just a couple of random lines. We'll judge from those if we need to see more."

"Yes, ma'am," Edward replied politely before swallowing and glancing down at the paper in his hands.

The first line really seemed to fit our current situation, and Edward said it with some conviction. "I used to be a big deal. I used to be going somewhere. Now all I do is try not to drown. When did life become something you buy?" Edward took a deep breath and then tried to be nonchalant about the next line. "I always wanted to be a product." He delivered the next line with a sideways cock of his head as he looked straight at Esme. "What proof do I have that you're a good pimp, Tanya?" And the final line, he said starting with some reverence and ending with a twinge of hurt. "It was just me and her making out in my tent with the wind howling outside. It felt different this time. It felt real...which is why waking up next to that pile of cold hard cash felt like such a kick in the gut."

Finishing the few lines, Edward stood there waiting while Esme, Jasper, and Alice converged and discussed quietly, then they spun around to face us, each wearing equally sadistic grins.

"You seem to do well with the lines, but we have one more thing to run you through to see how you'll do. Given your history, we have high hopes," Alice said in her soprano voice that was almost like nails down a chalkboard, in a way.

They all stood up and exited through the other door on the opposite side of the room, motioning for me to follow. The door led to another room where several men and women were lounging. Jasper went to a familiar looking blonde woman and asked her to follow us as Esme led the way through yet another door into a room with a camera, television screen, lights, and a bed.

"Edward, this is Irina, and she'll be working with you in this scene. What we want the two of you to do is act out a sex scene to see the chemistry. Of course, no actual intercourse will occur, but we need to see your, shall we say, skills, Edward. Irina, can you please put on that nude bra and panties, and Edward, here is your costume," Esme said as she handed Edward a flesh colored thong, motioning to a curtained off area where he could change.

_Fuck and me! That looks like a spandex torture device! Are you really going to confine me in that?_

Edward wasn't listening to me as he took in the apparel. Once Irina came out from behind the curtain in her almost nonexistent bra and panties, I knew it would be nearly impossible for Edward to restrain me in the miniscule material.

_Ha ha, asshole. Try and stuff me in there now! _

Edward was an abusive host as he practically bent me to stuff me into the restrictive material, but finally got me to comply and soften some from thinking about naked sumo wrestlers. _Don't ask me why he thought of that! I'm just his dick!_

We came out from the curtain, and quickly sat on the bed beside Irina, who was under a sheet and sitting up. She introduced herself to us, shaking Edward's hand and smiling up at him through her lashes, and...

_HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Fucking A, Edward! Do you realize who this is? Remember the fucking blonde babe that Bella was macking on outside of her apartment that day? Think hard man! Think way back! This is her! I'd recognize that delicious mouth anywhere! This is the puss that was screaming with Hot Puss! The one that we battled with during the sex screaming matches! _

Apparently Edward realized at the same time I did and he began to blush and stammer, trying to cover the fact that he knew her. But Irina was quicker than that, slipping into conversation while the others adjusted the lights, camera, and television screen.

"You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?" Irina asked.

"I don't know," Edward said, trying to play it cool and not stumble too badly over the words. I was fucking jumping for joy.

"What's your name again?"

"Edward, Edward Cullen."

"Oh my god! I knew I knew you! You used to work for Cold Shower Studios and Volturi Videos, right? I'm a big fan! Oh, and don't you know Bella Swan? I'm a good friend of hers." Irina was practically glowing with awe as she looked up at Edward, almost eye fucking him before looking down and eye fucking me.

"Oh, um, yeah I did. And Bella and I are neighbors. I live above her," Edward said, trying to have it end there. But Irina wasn't letting it go.

"Wait, aren't you the one that used to make her pull her hair out and get all worked up from all the sex and moaning and thumping from upstairs?"

"Um, well...I don't know about all that," Edward said, stuttering some at being called out, but more at making Bella flustered with his activities.

"You know, she used to invite me over for girls nights and when you'd start up we would make fake noises back, banging on the walls, bouncing on the bed, and stuff just for some payback. She even shocked me one day by pulling me into a kiss when she heard you coming down the stairs. Apparently you had her all sorts of fucked up."

Did Edward realize the ammunition that Irina was giving us about Bella? I sure fucking hoped so because she was going down next time we got to talk to her, if I was allowed to speak that is.

"Oh, I didn't realize that," Edward said, but was cut off from saying anything more as Jasper began to direct them for the scene.

We had to make out some, then pretend to have sex, noises and all included, so they could see how we worked together and filmed together.

Getting into position, Edward took a deep breath, and leaned down to kiss Irina as he nestled me up against her puss. But, all either of us could think about was Bella and Hot Puss, and what our next move was going to be with the new arsenal of information that Irina had given us.

Maybe this new job thing was going to be just what we needed...

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**So, what's going to happen now that Edward knows one of Bella's secrets? And is Rod going to get a chance to explore Irina's puss? Check back in next time! Oh, and next up for posting is Cougar Town, featuring Cougarella and Cubward. You know you wanna go read it!**


	14. Chapter 14 Cooch Confessions

**So, I'm back. And before I get into this AN, I'd like to mention that The COUP, and Rod Pattinhead, are up for multiple awards over at The Tomato Soup Awards. Voting is open NOW so just google tomato soup awards blogspot and you'll find the place. Also, The Cold Shower, my fav blog in the world, which is also the place that features weekly interviews with Rod Pattinhead, is up for best blog. It is my home away from home and was the inspiration for Bella's porn company. So go vote, and then head on over to The Cold Shower at wordpress. You won't be disappointed.**

**Now, this chapter comes from a little different POV, Hot Puss. Over the last few chapters, people have been saying that Bella and Hot Puss don't have enough reason to be as pissed as they are. Well, remember that hell has no fury like a woman scorned, and this woman was scorned in her mind. So, for this chapter, Hot Puss begged to be heard so that you all can get a little insight into what is going on in their minds. Don't worry, next update, Rod will be back with all of his antics and sly comments. **

**Thanks, eternally, go to my wifey/beta preciousfairymom80 who was forced to fall in love with this story. So Crystal, how do you like Rod now?**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight...DAMN!**

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The COUP Chapter 14

Hot Puss POV!

"That cocky, ballsy, piece of shit, motherfucker!" Bella ranted as she slammed her office door shut. _Oooo! Bella smash! Bella mad!_ I snickered from underneath my comfortable cotton blanket and waited for her to calm down.

Yeah, Edward and Rod were cocky as hell, but they were hot as fuck too. I only gave them the cold shoulder because Bella wanted me to. She said I was traitorous after the ninth pair of panties I soaked in their presence. But she should have known. It was the same way in high school.

Edward had been our knight in shining armor our freshman year. Some dumb bitch on the cheerleading team thought it would be funny to invite Bella to a party, but it was really a joke and a way to embarrass her. Bella, thinking that the popular girls wanted to be her friend and that they liked her, got dressed up the best she could in semi-tight jeans and a flattering tank top paired off with a pair of decorative sandals.

When we first arrived at the party, I was a shy vag and Bella was a wall flower. But the cheerleaders found her, one being Lauren, and they began to feed her drinks. Even I was feeling the effects of them as we began to get really woozy, loosening up some.

Spurred on by the fake bitches, we started to dance and one of the seniors on the football team, Liam, got really handsy and kept rubbing his shrimp dick on me_. Let me tell you, I wasn't impressed._ Not that I had been with any dick before, but I knew they came in models larger than his compact size. I was looking for an Escalade, not a Festiva. My tunnel of love toll booth would only open for the right vehicle that paid the fare, and Liam's lollipop wasn't going to carry the correct change.

But, apparently Bella wasn't doing a good enough job thwarting Liam's hands, which were trying to enter the no fly zones. But, he was able to persuade her to head down the hall with him, while all the cheerleaders, Lauren included, stood and laughed, pointing their fingers and whispering.

I did everything in my power short of firing off some flares to get her attention, but Bella was lost in the alcohol and the male attention. However, when they made it to the bedroom, and Liam wasn't satisfied with just making out, he began to get rough.

Bella started screaming and pushing on his hands and arms, but Liam overpowered her. However, someone opened the door, a knight in shining armor, and suddenly Liam was across the room being held against the wall by a guy with oddly colored reddish hair.

Bella quickly put her clothes back in place while our hero stood there, growling obscenities at Liam. The fucker deserved it too.

When he finally threw Liam out of the room, he turned to look at us.

"Are you ok? Do you need a ride home?" he said in a voice that was so smooth that I felt it caress me. God, I could only imagine what his lips could do if they had actually touched me.

All Bella could do was nod and Mr. Good Guy very slowly put his arm around her shoulder, almost as if she would attack if he moved too quickly, then guided us out of the house through the back door and to his car.

He asked where we lived and Bella told him, but those were the only words spoken by her. I think she was in shock. I probably would have been too if Liam's fuck ass had gotten any further than he had. Mr. Good Guy drove us home and turned the car off when he reached the driveway.

"So, um, sorry about Liam, he's a prick," Mr. Good Guy said. "By the way, I'm Edward." Edward smiled at Bella and she and I couldn't help but fall a little more in love with him than we already had for him being our knight in shining armor.

"Bella, and um, thanks, you know, for what you did back there," Bella mumbled and I just shook my clit at her, sighing at her general awkwardness. Seriously, I needed to get her to harness her pussy power at some point or else she was destined to be single and a virgin forever, growing up into one of those old spinsters with thirty cats. _And let me tell you, unless it was a little spawn vag, I wanted to be the only pussy in her home. _

Bella got out of the car and he waited until we were safely inside before he pulled away. Such a gentleman. And I couldn't help but look when he was closer to us earlier in the night. For a teenager, he was packing a serious peen, which I wanted to take a ride on. However, all hopes of that were dashed the following months at school when Bella was on the receiving end of tormenting and teasing from Lauren, her sister Lior, and the other bitches at the school.

She receded into her own little world, not caring about her appearance, allowing the natural frizz of her hair to take over, and permanently ditching the contacts for her dorky glasses that she could hide behind. The clothes were even worse. I swear, the only contact I received from them was in the form of plain white granny panties that she bought to make her apparently feel uglier. And Bella was anything but ugly.

Edward, who used to smile at us in the halls when we passed, began to not notice us at all. He even forgot our name, as we discovered when we were paired with him for tutoring. That was the hilt of the dagger that had been slowly stabbing us since the beginning of high school.

However, that dagger was viscously yanked from us, leaving a gaping, bleeding wound, when Edward ditched our study session for a party. That night was the night Bella was finally going to confess to Edward how she felt about him. He had been feeding those feelings throughout the study sessions as he complimented her, told her how pretty she was, how nice she was, and all the other compliments she needed to hear.

We were worried about him not showing, but had a nagging sensation that he had gone to the party instead of coming over to study for finals. Over the months he had been very prompt and impeccable with his dedication to the study sessions, always letting us know in advance if he wasn't going to make it for one. Well, heading over there, our suspicions were confirmed when we found him, all cozy with some college cunt, whose fingers were in his mouth.

Bella screamed while I almost threw up, and we dashed out of there before he could even attempt to lie about what was going on.

At home, Bella took a long, hot shower, crying her eyes out, before settling into her sleeping clothes. But, what happened next couldn't have been planned. Edward showed up, drenched and freezing, and apparently drunk as hell, begging for us to forgive him, apologizing profusely.

Bella got him inside and made him take a hot shower so he didn't develop hypothermia or something, while she dried his clothes in the dryer. We were just expecting Edward to get warm, back in dry clothes, apologize, and then leave. However, what happened instead was the best thing imaginable. Edward actually introduced me to Rod, and we were a match made in sex heaven. The things he did while poking me were otherworldly. And I know that I have nothing to base the experience off of having been a virgin up until that point.

The best night of our life was completely obliterated when Edward acted like he didn't remember what had happened. I mean, we couldn't have been so bad that he would just act like that, unless he was ashamed of fucking us.

The rest of the summer following that senior year, we avoided him at all costs, knowing that in the fall we'd be off to college and away from everyone we knew so we could start a new life, a new identity.

Bella had been accepted to NYU, full academic scholarship, and we were off for four years of amazingness. We were introduced to guys, we weren't dorky Isabella and her virginal vag anymore; we actually learned to dress right, Bella learned to put on makeup and tame her hair, which was actually quite beautiful when managed. All in all, we gained new identities and new and improved confidence and personalities.

It was at NYU where we met Ben and Angela and they got us into film, more specifically, porn. The two of them had this little online site going where they would perform through their webcam, but some of their subscribers had started requesting DVDs of their escapades, which is where Bella came in. They had seen her work with a digital camcorder from a party one night, and asked her if she would be willing to film them a couple of times.

Well, a couple of times turned into every time, and she also helped market their DVDs on their site, create them, learned to edit from Ben, and eventually changed her major to film, although the professors had no idea the type of film she, well we, were interested in exploring.

Leaving NYU, Bella found work in New York at a few smaller companies, but eventually they always wanted her in front of the camera exploiting me, and fuck if I wasn't ok with it. I wanted it like you wouldn't believe! Our new womanly body and ability to take care of ourselves had apparently made us into sexy beasts, as one of the directors had called Bella. I got her to concede to him and I starred in my first film.

It was pretty interesting and we did enjoy getting paid to enjoy sex, so we did a few more, but the seats behind the cameras were calling Bella's name more than the guy that was fucking me at the time. So, we retired from our short lived porn star life and began to apprentice behind the cameras, taking on any task they asked her to do.

Those tasks, coupled with Bella's determination, had us moving up the ladder quickly, and a reputable company in California had made us an offer that we couldn't refuse, so off we moved out there.

Bella had a sizeable sum saved after a couple of years in California, topping off our already pretty bank account from the royalties of the films we had made. And she had enough of a reputation following her to get one of the owners of the company we were working at, to back her on purchasing a small porn company that was currently failing miserably in Seattle. Besides, Washington was calling us home, so we packed up, made the purchase, and started Cold Shower Studios, a film studio run by women with the sole objective of making videos women would actually enjoy watching, as well as men too. They were so easy, practically getting off at anything that involved some sort of sexual act. Women were a little more complicated being the sensual creatures that we are.

It was then that we learned that our heart breaker from high school was also working in the industry, so Bella, being obsessed still, and with lots of prodding from me, had purchased every single one of his films and we watched them back to back, practically breaking me in the process._ Vibrator abuse is a real thing, ladies. I've thought about starting up a hotline for vag's to call in when their owners buzz them into a tingly, hypersensitive mess. It could work, right?_

Well, after a few years of building Cold Shower Studios into the complete feminist power porn empire we had dreamed of, we had enough money and influence to really do something. However, our plans for the growth and expansion of the company changed when we moved into a new apartment and discovered that none other than Edward Fucking Cullen lived above us. That fucker didn't even remember us when he saw us!_ Rod even ignored me, and from what I remembered, he had thoroughly enjoyed himself while he visited my sex spa._

Bella and I agreed that it was time for a change of plans and Operation Destroy The Dick started. It was further fueled when he began parading the endless supply of pathetic puss through his apartment like it had a fucking revolving door. Sitting there night after night listening to him make women scream made our toes curl and me drool uncontrollably. Bella called me a traitorous twat, but what could I say? Rod had worked me over good back in the day and none had ever compared.

Our friend Irina began to help us challenge his sexual symphonies in an attempt to garner some attention. If he remembered us then it would make the plan even more of a success. Bella had told Irina all about the history with Edward and she had been more than willing to help, even though she was a fan of his.

Finally, we were able to procure a deal with Volturi Videos to buy out Edward's contract, and surprisingly he signed. And boy, did we work him over good, but he worked me over good while we watched. I was fucking soaked and Bella kept scowling at me. _What? I'm an innocent vag. I can't help it that dick gets me wet, especially Rod Pattinhead._

The piece-de-resistance was that our very own Naughty Nyddi wanted a piece of him, and she loved to dominate the men. Well, Bella and I were all set to watch Edward get what was coming to him, but then he turned the mother fucking tables on Nyddi and took over, taking charge and fucking the shit out of her in a manner that should have been illegal for its ability to knock a vag dead.

I totally became a traitorous twat that day because I was ready to get on my knees and call Rod and Edward, Master. Bella was fucking pissed at them and me, and let Edward fucking have it. She fired him for breach of contract and threw it in his face that he was done in the industry. Great, now we would be fucking known as the bitches that destroyed his career, somehow it would happen.

Edward was livid and stormed out of the building, but then was suddenly all sweet and shit the following weeks as he seemed to be stalking us. Bella was half tempted to get our dad to get a restraining order on him, but I talked her out of it with a few wet dreams starring Edward and Rod.

She was beginning to weaken for him, her shell cracking a little more every day as he tried to talk to her. The worst was when he followed us, borderline stalking, to the coffee shop and held the door open and bought our caffeine fix. Bella would never admit it, but I saw her checking him out while I was secretly watching Rod.

The rest of the day at work was unproductive, and we both needed to blow off some steam. Luckily Irina called and asked if we wanted to go out to the club tonight for some drinks, dancing, and dick. Who could turn that offer down? Especially with a wing puss like Irina's?

Heading home, Bella took the time to shave me nice and clean. _Oh yeah, make me a pretty puss. You know the guys like me nice and naked. Who wouldn't? Oh Bella...how about we go for the crotcheless black and red panties tonight? Pair that with the leather mini and the fuck me red pumps...no one would be able to resist our charms. Please Bella? I need to get poked. I need to feel like a sausage casing, nice and stuffed to the brim, full of man meat. _

Bella conceded and we dressed for the evening, putting on a knee length trench to cover ourselves on the way out and over to Irina's. She had mentioned wanting to celebrate a new role she had been offered and I had an odd feeling that tonight was going to be very interesting.

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**So we are up to the current state of Rod's affairs with this chapter. Anyone want to take a guess on what might happen at the club? And don't forget to run over to the Tomato Soup Awards on their blogspot and vote for your favorite peen! He loves it when you all stroke his ego with votes and reviews! Psst! Ego is another word for shaft! Bwahahaha!  
**


	15. Chapter 15 Feeling Frisky

**Hello all my peen addicts! It's that time again...UPDATE! But first, I must thank everyone who voted for me in the Tomato Soup Awards. COUP won Best Title, Best Genitalia Description, Best Cherry Pop, and Best Overall Character (Rod Pattinhead). I was awed by it all! Thank you so much!**

**Thanks, eternally, go to my Twifey preciousfairymom80 who beta's my chapters at 2am, giving up her BDB books for the task. (Side note, if you haven't read the Black Dagger Brotherhood books, GO READ THEM NOW! There are references to them in here fyi)**

**Disclaimer: I only own my fantasy peen and his pov!**

**And don't forget to visit thecoldshower(.)wordpress(.)com for weekly Q&A sessions with Edward and Rod! **

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The COUP Chapter 15

"Showered and all clean? Check. Dressed and ready to kill with my sexiness? Check. Nervous as hell and feeling like I'm going to throw up? Double check," Edward said, talking to himself in the bathroom mirror as he put the final touches on our attire for the evening.

_I'm with you there, buddy. I feel like I'm going to spew any second now, and that would be kind of messy, don't you think?_

We were about thirty minutes from heading out to meet Irina at BDB, a new vampire industrial themed club downtown. She told us that it was the big hangout for the late twenties crowd. She said that they would be in The Pit, which was apparently the lowest floor of the club, and to text her when we got in the building.

To say we were a nervous wreck was an understatement. It wasn't that we were meeting Irina that had us nervous. She had gotten Bella and Hot Puss to agree to go out and was staging an intervention for us with her. As she said, Bella and Hot Puss wanted us, badly. But, she was still pissed that we had wronged her back in the day. But she got her payback by fucking up our career. However, maybe it was a blessing in disguise since we couldn't do the porn thing forever.

Now that we were once again gainfully employed, this time as actors for a television show instead of porn, we didn't need to be nice to her in order to get work again. And truthfully, it was kind of nice to know that every day that we went to work, Edward wouldn't be sticking me in random pusses.

Knowing that we could survive and make a living without Bella and Hot Puss still didn't change our desire to make things right with her. And it didn't change my desire to get back into those hot, tight, wet depths. But that might not ever come, and I might be fine with that. Maybe...

_Come on, Eddie boy. Let's put on our big girl panties and hit the club. Besides, if Hot Puss isn't receptive then there will be plenty of other pusses to pick up. You know, pick, pick, pick a puss, throw her on the bed, panties off, condom on, and poke her with my head._

Edward scowled down at my enthusiastic attitude and form, but grabbed his wallet, keys, and phone, and headed for the door. The ride to BDB was full of gut wrenching thoughts from the both of us. What if Bella and Hot Puss rejected us again? What if they decided to harm me? But, we couldn't dwell on the what if's because we were pulling into the parking deck for the club and heading inside.

Edward shot a quick text to Irina, who replied saying that they were downstairs in The Pit and that she would be waiting for us at Bar #4. Heading down the metal stairs, Edward's Doc's leading the way, we spotted Bar #4 and walked over, quickly finding Irina in a barely there ice blue dress. It was more like a tube top and a mini skirt with mesh connecting the two pieces.

"Edward!" she yelled as we came up and hugged her.

"You sure this is going to be cool? I don't want to piss her off too much," he replied, clearly nervous.

"I'm sure. Here, drink this and relax a minute. She's out on the dance floor, feeling good herself," Irina said as she handed him a shooter that was red and ominous looking.

"What is it?" Edward yelled over the music.

"It's called a Vishous. It has three ounces of Grey Goose, an ounce of cinnamon schnapps, and a splash of grenadine to make it red like blood. Drink it, it's good and it'll loosen you up."

Edward didn't question her further and tipped back the shooter, feeling the alcohol burn his throat. _Hell, I felt that premium vodka go straight to _my_ head. Drunk fucking was not pretty so I hoped that Edward dialed it back some_.

"Ok, Bella just finished her third Zsadist and is on the dance floor feeling pretty good. Go dance with her, but approach her from behind. Trust me, once you start moving with her, like I'm sure you can, she'll fall over the edge for you and start opening up," Irina explained but we were stuck on what Bella had been drinking.

"She's been drinking what?" Edward asked, a confused look on his face.

"Damn, get with the program, Edward. They are signature drinks here. A Zsadist is yellow in color and is an ounce of SoCo, an ounce of Banana Liqueur, and an ounce of Galliano, then it's garnished with a slice of banana that's drizzled with cherry syrup to look like blood. Does it really matter? Just get your ass out there. I'm going to stay here and keep an eye on you two incase I need to intercede with anything. Now, go get your woman, she's waiting for you."

Irina pointed Bella out, and holy fuck me running backwards, she was fucking stunning. _And I'm hard_.

Bella was in an almost nonexistent black leather mini skirt, fuck me red high heels that looked like they would be perfect in a porn, and a red and black strapless corset that was tied tightly in the back with black satin ribbon. Her hair was left down in an artful disarray, and she was slowly swaying back and forth seductively, calling me home.

_I swear I heard Hot Puss calling me, saying 'Come to me Rod, cum _in_ me Rod.'_

Needing no further invitation, I led the way like dowsing rods, straining against Edward's dark washed jeans like I was trying to escape. Thankfully, his plain white v-neck t-shirt and black button up were un-tucked and covered my fire pole imitation. But if I had my way about it, Bella and Hot Puss would be feeling my hard welcome in a few seconds.

Edward tried to adjust me, but my shaft of steel wasn't moving. _I've been working out, lifting weights and all... Maybe I should start my own exercise show. Call it Peen Power Hour, or something. It could work._

Like magnets, Bella, Hot Puss, Edward, and I were all drawn together just as Rhianna's 'S&M' came on.

When I made contact with Bella's barely covered ass, I said hi to Hot Puss as I touched down like the lunar landing. _That's one small step for peen, one giant leap for peenkind_. Bella didn't even jump or anything as we touched her, beginning to sway with the song, Edward's and Bella's hips moving in time with the beat.

"Not interested," Bella said over her shoulder, but not looking at us. She seemed too lost in the music, but Hot Puss was a totally different story.

_Yeah, I can smell the attraction over here. You want me. You want the Rod. _

Edward didn't speak as he began to dance with Bella, moving in time with the music and her body, molding to it as if he needed it to survive. Irina had told him to do so earlier in the day. Something about Bella allowing someone one dance before she told them to get lost. A few times, the guy apparently would either dance really well, or ignite something in her, and Bella would continue dancing with them without even looking to see who it was. Irina assured us that Bella would feel the connection and continue dancing with us if she truly felt for us the way Irina thought she did. I was crossing my brothers that she was right.

As the song continued, the lyrics went right along with what I was feeling, and I could tell that Edward felt it too.

_Love is great, love is fine  
Out the box, out of line  
The affliction of the feeling  
Leaves me wanting more _

The attraction to Bella and Hot Puss was definitely out of the box for us. It was more than just wanting her body. There was another yearning there, something deeper.

Edward continued to move our bodies against hers. Hot Puss was beginning to salivate for me and I know for a fact that I heard Bella moan loudly as we grinded our bodies against hers. _Oh god, hearing you moan is just what I want to do. But oh so more than that. Come on, Hot Puss. Talk to Bella, tell her you want us too. You know that I'd make you feel good and full, but so much more than that, too._

The music continued to play around us, the lyrics matching everything we were feeling.

_I love the feeling  
You bring to me  
Oh, you turn me on  
It's exactly what  
I've been yearning for  
Give it to me strong  
And meet me in my boudoir  
Make my body say ah, ah, ah_

The feeling that Bella was bringing Edward, and that Hot Puss was bringing me…we were going to be goners if we weren't careful. But damn if they weren't looking fucking fine as hell tonight.

Edward kept moving with the beat of the song, his hands tentatively reaching for Bella's hips. And when they made contact, I swear there was an electric jolt straight to me that connected somehow with Hot Puss.

Over the pulsing beats, I heard Bella gasp and she spun around, her eyes wide open as she realized who she was dancing with.

Edward's hands shot up in the air in a defensive position as Bella began to yell at him, half of her words getting drowned out by the thumping beats.

"What in the...doing here...get your hands...me and get...away," was what we heard and I was sure that there was more colorful language interspersed within the rant.

He was about to say something to her when Irina appeared suddenly, wrapping her arms around his torso, her stomach right over me, making me jump a bit.

"Edward! There you are! I've been looking all over the place for you," Irina yelled so that Bella and Edward could hear her.

Bella's eyebrows shot up to her hair line as she took in the intimate embrace Irina was plastering onto us, and spun around, stomping off to the bar. I was sad to see Hot Puss go, unable to try to woo her peen-to-puss since I had been watching the altercation between Edward and Bella. _Damn, another lost chance to persuade my future puss._

As the song changed over, Irina began to move against Edward and I, and he was hesitant as he watched Bella sidle up to the bar and begin to pound back drink after drink.

"Calm down and trust me," Irina said in his ear as she took his hands and placed them on her hips. "Dance with me but watch her."

"This isn't going to work. I don't know why you thought it would, but it isn't going to work," Edward said in a defeated tone.

"Let me guess, she's up at the bar drinking and watching us, right?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Because I know Bella and I know that she wants you, whether or not she knows it."

"She hates me."

"Hate is a powerful emotion, and you can't hate something without loving it too," Irina told us while she began to pivot us around so our backs were to Bella and Hot Puss.

Edward, trying to just go with the flow, began to dance and grind with Irina, letting his hands graze lightly against her arms and hips, even letting one graze the top of her ass, which was quite nice. _But she's no Hot Puss! Focus Edward! We are here to get Hot Puss, oh and Bella too. Don't get too into Irina._

"Relax and loosen up. Don't want to show her that you're exactly here for her. And trust me, she's over there at the bar right now, watching you with a look of hunger. She wants you and I'll bet you a hundred bucks that she'll be over here by the end of the next song, dancing with you again. I saw her when you were dancing with her, saw how much it affected her, and in a good way. You want Bella? Then loosen up and try to enjoy yourself. She'll be coming around soon," Irina said in Edward's ear while I tried to not get shivers from the breathy voice.

Irina was pretty damn hot, but she was right, we were there for Bella and we wanted her. I know I wanted Hot Puss like I wanted to get off, and that was a lot.

With the music flowing into Edward's ears and down to my brothers, we finally loosened up just as Irina started talking again.

"Here she comes in five, four, three, two..." The count cut off as a pair of small hands placed themselves on Edward's hips and a hot body pressed up against his back. I could smell the banana and SoCo on her, and wanted to drink her to see if she tasted like it. Hell, I think it would only add to the delicious flavor of Hot Puss.

Irina pulled back slightly and smiled knowingly at Edward before stepping back some and spinning him around so that he was facing Bella. She looked irked momentarily at the change of positions, but seemed to shake it off as she began dancing with us again. I was peen-to-puss with Hot Puss and knew I needed to make good use of my time because god only knows when I'd get some again.

_Hello there, cum often? I mean come here often? Of course you don't. Excuse me for being a presumptuous peen. Might I say that you are looking lovely tonight? Oh what? No reply? Come on baby, talk to me, let me touch you, taste you, poke you._

"Just because I'm dancing with you doesn't mean I like you. You're just a good dancer is all," Bella said, interrupting my wooing of Hot Puss.

"Whatever you want to say to feel better," Edward said in a surprisingly cocky tone. But that could have something to do with my rigid state. Irina had suspiciously not resumed dancing up against us, and I suspected that she was giving us our space with Bella and Hot Puss.

"Besides, you're not going to run me out of here. I was here first," Bella countered again, sounding like she was trying to rationalize her actions.

"It's a public place and there are plenty others here you can dance with," Edward replied to her, giving her the open door to walk out of if she so wanted to. _No you fucker! Don't shoo my Hot Puss away! No shooing the kitty!_

"Well, I require someone who knows how to dance in order to dance with them," Bella said, shifting her body until she was straddling Edward's thighs, "and you obviously know how to dance so you'll do."

"You know, it'll be nice when you quit lying to yourself and just admit that you want me too, even if it's just a little bit. I know you want me. Plus, the shit that happened in the past is in the past. Let that go and try again. Besides, don't you remember how good it was? I know I do," Edward said, starting out just saying it near her ear, but ending with a husky voice right at her ear.

I felt Bella shiver and Hot Puss finally fucking moaned. _Fucking score! Oh baby, moan for me again. Let Rod hear you moan his name. Let me stuff you so full you feel like you're going to rip apart. You know you want me, Hot Puss. You can't deny it. I can smell the attraction pouring out of you. _

As if the DJ knew what was transpiring between all of us, Pitbull's 'I Know You Want Me' started up, and Edward took it as his cue to get even closer with Bella. He began to roll his hips against hers, drawing on all the Latin dance lessons he took in college for a puss he wanted to pound, and I quickly found my hard self pressed against Hot Puss.

_Sweet serenity! Wait, fucking x-ray peen vision don't fail me now! Is she...she fucking is! Hot Puss is wearing crotch-less panties! Where are my hands? I need fucking hands to unzip these jeans and slip right in. Fuck! She's fucking wet! I can see and smell it! Edward...EDWARD!_

Edward seemed oblivious to my pleading as he dropped one of his hands and hitched Bella's leg up to his hip, grinding me directly into Hot Puss as the perfect lyrics sounded out.

_I know you want me, want me  
You know I want cha, want cha  
I know you want me  
You know I want cha, want cha_

Leaning in, he began to run his nose up the shell of Bella's ear as he spoke to her in his sex voice.

"I know you want me just as badly as I want you. I can feel it. Hell, I can smell how much you want me. Let go, Bella. Just do what you know you want to do. Fell the music, feel me."

Bella's head dropped forward onto his shoulder as she moved Hot Puss against me in a manner that should be illegal. _Oh fuck yes. Rub your puss on me. Coat me in your juices. Ride me. USE ME! _

I was in the seventh level of ecstasy as I heard Bella and Hot Puss moan in unison when Edward thrust his hips, and me, up against them, apparently hitting the perfect spot. I didn't care that I was being bent at an unnatural angle, that I was being pressed and squished past the danger point of spewing in my cotton sleeping bag. I just wanted Edward to let me out to play.

Edward's hand was still holding the back of Bella's leg, but began to drift closer and closer to crotch-less panty heaven. I was a jealous fucking peen as his fingers moved toward the heaven that I wanted to hide in permanently. _Fuck, let me be a cave troll for you Hot Puss. I'll guard your entrance so that no other peen ever tries to penetrate you. I could talk all caveman style for you. 'Hot Puss mine! Rod no share! Unga bunga! Captain Cave Peen!' _

Edward's voyeuristic hand continued to move toward puss central, and I about spewed my spunk when Bella loosened her hold on one of his shoulders and reached for his arm, pushing it to right where I wanted to be most. _Fuck you fingers! I hope you get arthritis or carpel tunnel or some shit and are rendered useless! _

_Baby you can get it, if you with it we can play  
Baby I got cribs, I got condos we can stay  
Even got a king size mattress we can lay  
Baby I don't care, I don't care, what they say_

The lyrics said what I wanted to just as Edward's fingertips made contact with Hot Puss's dripping wet mouth. All four of us moaned loudly with the contact and Edward set a slow pace, rubbing in between the lips I sought after. Hell, I was almost willing to pledge my peen existence for another chance to poke Hot Puss.

Bella, apparently lost in the music and finger fuck fest of the evening, began to ride Edward's hand, pinning it to his thigh as the beat of the music carried her right off to orgasm land.

Watching Bella and Hot Puss unfold as their orgasm hit in the middle of a packed club, bodies so close we could smell their cologne and perfume, hear their yells over the music. But they all faded as Bella and Hot Puss poured their priceless nectar onto Edward's hand, thigh, and me.

But, as her head rolled forward, taking in Edward and I before her, her body wrapped around ours, the slight alcohol haze lifted and a fearful emotion filled her wide eyes and she pushed against us , Edward's fingers slipping out of Bella.

He did what I wanted to do...lifting his fingers and sticking the wet digits into his mouth, sucking her juices off with a groan that made his eyes close involuntarily. When they opened a moment later, Bella was no longer in front of us and there was a closing path through the people where she had run off.

Fuck and me! What had we done?

* * *

**Oooo! Bella and Hot Puss let Edward and Rod get a little frisky! Was it the alcohol or something else? And what will they do now to get her? Reviews get you felt up by the boys in a club!  
**


	16. Chapter 16 Intervention

**Hey everybody! Look who's back with another chapter! I'm going to try and stick to an every two week update schedule, give or take a few days, but don't hold me to it. RL is difficult right now with my youngest developing more food allergies and his food list growing shorter and shorter by the day it seems. And then my oldest has just started basketball and cub scouts. Plus, in a month, I start my Masters of Accountancy! Anyways, I'm going to try and get these chapters out to you on a rough schedule, but don't be mad if I'm a little late, please. **

**Also, thanks for all the reviews. I read and cherish each and every one of them, even if I don't get the time to reply to them. Please know that I do read them, and go back and reread them when I need inspiration to write more. **

**Thanks, eternally, go to my Twifey and bff, preciousfairymom80. Right now, we have a tentative date to get together to see Breaking Dawn Part 1 at a halfway point between our houses! YAY!**

**Disclaimer: Wish I owned, but I only own Rod!**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 16

Previously:

_But, as her head rolled forward, taking in Edward and I before her, her body wrapped around ours, the slight alcohol haze lifted and a fearful emotion filled her wide eyes and she pushed against us , Edward's fingers slipping out of Bella. _

_He did what I wanted to do...lifting his fingers and sticking the wet digits into his mouth, sucking her juices off with a groan that made his eyes close involuntarily. When they opened a moment later, Bella was no longer in front of us and there was a closing path through the people where she had run off._

_Fuck and me! What had we done?_

"Stupid! Stupid fucking dick!" Edward yelled at himself in the bathroom of The Pit, kicking the stall divider.

_Hey now, easy on the name calling, asshole. It's not my fault she ran away. I wasn't the one to get her off. You should talk to Rosy Palms and her sisters. They are the ones to blame_.

"God! How could I have been such an idiot? Finally making headway and I have to go fuck it up, in true Edward Cullen style! Someone shoot me now!" Edward continued to rant as the door to the bathroom opened and Irina stuck her head in.

"Stop with the pity party and get your ass out here, or else I'm coming in," she yelled at us.

"Go away! This is all your fault!" Edward yelled back.

"That's it!" Irina yelled, the door swinging closed and the sound of her heels clicking across the tile floor as she approached us. "It's not my fault. It's not your fault. And it's not Bella's fault. The two of you have something going on and this was bound to happen. If anything, it's a good thing because Bella's little hooha has been awakened and she's wanting you to fill her up."

_Oh, I'd definitely fill Hot Puss up. Just give me the chance. Five minutes with Rod will have her swearing off any other peen for eternity. Once you go Rod, you'll be screaming 'Oh God!'_

"But she ran the fuck off!" Edward exclaimed, his hands flying to his hair while I just stayed tight in his jeans, still imagining filling Hot Puss.

"Yeah, she did. Hell, I would too if I was her given your guys' history. But, what's important is that she didn't leave. She's up in The Penthouse, texted me a minute ago to let me know. What we're going to do is go up there. I'm going to get her calmed down and then spring you on her, forcing the conversation. I think that once the two of you get out all the shit you both want to say, you two can move on to the fabulous make up sex that I predict in your future," Irina explained with a mischievous twinkle in her eye and damn I hoped she was predicting the future because I really wanted another romp with Hot Puss. Hell, I'd give my left nut for multiple ones.

"No! I can't do this, not now, maybe not ever. She clearly hates me!" Edward exclaimed and I was suddenly cowering in my peen pouch with the icy glare Irina shot at him.

"You can do it and you will do it, Edward Cullen," she growled and suddenly Edward was yelping as Irina grasped his ear and began pulling him out of the bathroom and through the club to the stairs leading to The Penthouse.

I cowered in my hammock as Edward winced and went along for the ride that Irina was dragging him on. People stopped, stared, and pointed as Irina woman handled Edward.

_Ha ha! Sucks to be you! See, this is why dicks don't have ears!_

Edward protested the journey up the stairs, bent halfway over to compensate the height difference between him and Irina. And when we walked through the entrance to The Penthouse, she finally let go as she pushed us down onto a leather banquette beside a very startled and shocked Bella and Hot Puss.

Edward rubbed his throbbing ear while I surveyed the space. The entire room was done in varying degrees of black satin and leather, with stainless steel accents and black candles. The music was low and trancelike, adding to the ambiance of the place.

"What the fuck, Irina?" Bella asked as she stood up to leave.

"Shut up and sit down. I'm tired of this and you two are going to talk," Irina said, standing in front of all of us, arms crossed and an evil glare on her face. She wasn't one to fuck with it seemed.

"Tired of what?" Edward asked, still rubbing his sore ear.

"The two of you want each other," Irina stated and Bella got a look on her face of sheer disgust, which made Edward and I hurt slightly. The way she was on the dance floor wasn't disgusted; she was totally into it. "Oh, cut the act, Bella. You want him, he wants you, and you two need to work past your past bullshit and move the fuck on. Don't think I didn't see that action on the dance floor."

Bella and Edward both blushed and looked quickly at each other then down at their laps. Hot Puss was sitting there, shocked as shit that Irina called her out on it.

_Yeah, Hot Puss, you know that you enjoyed that finger play. But let Rod fill you to the brim and you'll forget all about Freddy Fingers over there. I may only be one digit, but I'm more talented. Want to play Poke The Puss and find out?_

Hot Puss cut her eyes at me then looked away, huffing in frustration.

_Would that be _sexual _frustration, my dear?_

"Ok, I'm going to go sit over here at the bar while you two play nice and talk this shit out. And don't think that either of you are leaving here without doing just that!" Irina said before turning and walking off to a bar stool, planting herself down out of earshot.

Neither Edward nor Bella spoke up, just sitting there quietly for almost ten minutes, when Bella finally broke the uncomfortable silence with a growl.

_Fuck that sounded sexy. Growl for me again baby! Can you make Hot Puss growl too? Wait, a growling puss might not be a good thing. It might bite! No bite the peen!_

"Look, we aren't getting past Iron Gate Irina without making it look like we kissed and made up. so, let's play pretend and act like we're talking this shit out and we can go our separate ways, ok?" Bella said, twisting to look at Edward.

"But what if I really want to talk 'this shit' out, as you so eloquently put it?" Edward asked.

"There's nothing to talk about. You fucked me over, I got pay back, end of story. We have to deal with living in the same building as each other, but nothing more than that."

"I didn't fuck you over!" Edward exclaimed, making Bella's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline.

"Excuse me, yes you did!" Bella interjected. "You practically led me on for four fucking years, ending it with fucking me, and then acted like you didn't even remember doing it! Then, you move into _my_ building and act like you don't even know me! Being the good actor like you are, I'm pretty sure your little mind can comprehend the action of acting like we are getting along so that we can get the fuck out of here."

_Wait, she thought that I acted like I didn't remember fucking her? And what was this shit about leading her on? Hot Puss, talk to me, baby. Tell me what in the fuck Bella's talking about. _

But Hot Puss was silent, cowering behind the rage that was more than apparent in Bella's eyes.

"Wait, what?" Edward asked, his hands grasping at his hair, trying to will himself to understand what in the hell she was talking about. "What in the hell are you talking about leading you on for four years?"

"Think, Edward. Think real hard. I'm pretty sure that insignificant mind of yours might remember the big party at the beginning of high school when you pulled Liam off of a chick in a bedroom. Ring any bells?" Bella said as a look of realization dawned over Edward's face.

"That was you?" he asked softly, remembering the incident clearly in his head.

"Yeah, that was me. Then at school, you stopped paying attention to me when you fell in with the popular kids. And don't forget all the comments you would make when I was tutoring you! You used to tell me how sweet I was and how beautiful I was and how I would make some man very happy! But let me guess, you don't remember that either?"

"Bella, high school was a long time ago, full of drinking, drugs, and a lot of unfavorable behavior on my part. I was always tunnel visioned on my next conquest," Edward tried to explain.

"Oh, so I was just a conquest? That night before finals, all I was to you was a fucking conquest? Something for you to fuck out of your system before moving onto the next piece of ass?" Bella seethed, livid as shit, and I decided to duck and hide so I didn't get the Wrath O' Bella.

_Get in my hidey hole. You no see the peen! Shit, where's my fucking invisibility cloak?_

"No, you weren't just a fucking conquest! I meant everything I said to you when you tutored my dumb ass. And I didn't remember that night until a little while ago. It was a fucked up night with alcohol and drugs, but you better be sure as shit that I wish I could go back to that night and redo it, completely sober, so that I could make sure that I ensured that it was the best night of your life and that you would remember it with perfect clarity. Because someone as sexy and beautiful and talented and just plain fuck hot as you deserves to be worshipped in bed, and I'm sure I didn't worship you enough. But give me the chance and I'll show you what kind of throne you sit on in my eyes," Edward said, his voice dropping and getting heavy with desire as he finished his rant.

Throughout the entire thing, he had been leaning closer and closer to Bella, trapping her in the corner of the banquette.

Bella just sat there like a deer in headlights, her body almost one with the back of the seat as Edward hovered over her, leaning in with lust in his eyes.

"You…you what?" Bella finally spoke in a soft tone, but there was more to it…a scent that was lifting up, teasing my body and making me stand up rigid acting like a metal detector looking for the source of the beeping.

_Yo, Eddie. You smell that? Yeah, you smell it too, don't you? That smell, my dear boy, is the smell of desire. Oh Hot Puss… Hot Puss, my darling, are you wet for me? Will I just slide right in? Come on, let Rod in. Let me fill your casing with my sausage. _

"You heard me. I would…I _want_ to worship you, your body, show you the kind of pleasure you deserve to have each and every time you're touched," Edward said in a husky tone, lust and desire lacing each and every word.

Bella's eyes darted between Edward's eyes and his lips, her own lips parting as she practically panted under the weight of his words. _Yeah, she wants us. Do it, Edward. Make your move man._

The tension was thick between the two and I suddenly found myself breaking into song, courtesy of _The Little Mermaid_.

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't be scared  
You got the mood prepared  
Go on and kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't stop now  
Don't try to hide it how  
You wanna kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Float along  
Listen to the song  
The song say kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Music play  
Do what the music say  
You wanna kiss the girl_

You've got to kiss the girl  
Why don't you kiss the girl  
You gotta kiss the girl  
Go on and kiss the girl

Edward took a deep breath, licked his lips, and then made his move. He grasped Bella's face in between his hands and pressed his lips to hers.

_Houston, we have contact! _

Bella didn't move, sitting there stunned, while Edward slowly moved his lips along hers. When he finally pulled back, a satisfied smile on his face, Bella shocked us both by lifting up her hand and slapping him across the face.

Edward released her face with his left hand, grasped her raised arm as she attempted to swing again, and leaned in, pressing his lips to hers once more. Bella fought against him, pushing at his chest and he sat back up, giving Bella space to slap him again with her other hand. Edward trapped it too and leaned in closer to her, until his mouth was right at her ear and she struggled against him.

"Hit me, slap me, hell, punch me all you want. But I know you feel the desire in those kisses too. I know you want more of them…more of me." Edward stopped talking and kissed Bella again, deeper this time, with more feeling.

She struggled at first, but slowly stopped fighting him as he worked his lips over hers. I was standing as straight as Edward's jeans would let me, bent in unnatural angles as I fought against the confines of the denim, begging for him to let me out to play.

Releasing Bella's arms, Edward reached around Bella's neck, holding her to him as he kissed her even more, pouring every ounce of desire he could into the kiss, hoping like hell that she would feel it too.

Finally, as if she gave in, gave up, Bella began to move with Edward, kissing him back. Satisfied with her response, he pulled back slightly, smiling in a serene manner as he closed his eyes, committing to memory the feel of her lips willingly against his.

But that joy was cut short when Bella's fist contacted with his mouth, and she jumped up, pushing past him to run out of the room. Dazed, and with a throbbing lip, Edward stood, looking for Irina in the hopes that she would have stopped Bella, but was nowhere to be seen.

_Well, go after her, idiot! Get her back because I want to commit the feel of those lips around my head to memory!_

Edward rushed out after Bella, running down the stairs to the exit and burst through the doors, looking left and right for Bella's retreating form. When he spotted her, a block away, running like someone was chasing her, he hightailed it to the parking deck to retrieve his car.

Throwing the car into gear, Edward spun tires exiting the parking deck, and took off down the road in search of Bella. Spotting her with his headlights, Edward pulled up next to her, threw the car into park, and got out, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"Bella, wait!" Edward yelled as she spun around, fighting to get free.

"Let me go, just let me go, Edward!" Bella screamed.

"Not until you tell me that you didn't feel something too. Not until you can honestly admit that you don't want me or anything to do with me. Tell me, honestly, and I'll let you go and never bother you again. But if you don't tell me, if you can't admit it, then you need to be prepared for all I've got because I'm not giving up on this," Edward practically shouted at Bella, holding her by her upper arms, forcing her to face him. "Just say the words and I'm gone. Say them and I'll go away."

"I…I…I can't," Bella whispered, finally breaking down and admitting it to all of us.

Before Edward could say anything, Bella shocked the hell out of all of us by leaning in and claiming Edward's lips with her own.

* * *

**Ooooo, I'm a bitch for ending it there, aren't I? Well, death threats are accepted in the form of reviews, so let me have them! Until next time!  
**


	17. Chapter 17 Deals

**Look who's back! Ok, this is only at a one week mark, but I'm planning on updating this every other weekend, and updating my other story, Cougar Town in the opposite ones. **

**Ok, now, thanks, eternally, go to my beta, bff, and twifey, preciousfairymom80, who I should be seeing in ONE MONTH for BD Part 1! Fucking SQUEEEEE! **

**Oh, and disclaimer: I only wish I could own Twilight, but I do own the peen POV and our dear Rod Pattinhead!**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 17

Previously:

"_Let me go, just let me go, Edward!" Bella screamed._

"_Not until you tell me that you didn't feel something too. Not until you can honestly admit that you don't want me or anything to do with me. Tell me, honestly, and I'll let you go and never bother you again. But if you don't tell me, if you can't admit it, then you need to be prepared for all I've got because I'm not giving up on this," Edward practically shouted at Bella, holding her by her upper arms, forcing her to face him. "Just say the words and I'm gone. Say them and I'll go away."_

"_I…I…I can't," Bella whispered, finally breaking down and admitting it to all of us._

_Before Edward could say anything, Bella shocked the hell out of all of us by leaning in and claiming Edward's lips with her own._

Bella's lips were fierce against Edward's and I only wished that Hot Puss's lips were doing the same on me. No matter how hard I strained against the denim, I was stuck, bent, and impossibly hard.

_Hot Puss… Oh Hot Puss... Tell Bella to get me out to play. _

I tried subliminal messages but they didn't work on Hot Puss, who was too busy drooling all over herself as Edward's hand began to enter the puss play zone. The way he was going, and the way Bella was kissing, there would be a touchdown tonight, scored by none other than Rod Pattinhead.

_Come on crowd, start my slow chant for me to play. Ro-od! Ro-od! Ro-od! Ro-od! Come on, say it with me. Get the coach to put me in like he did Rudy. Then when I'm done, I can be carried off the field because I'll be too limp to do anything else._

Bella broke the kiss right before Edward's fingers dipped under the bottom of her skirt.

"Your place or mine?" she asked in a husky voice.

As hard as I fought it, and as much as I wanted to deny it, I couldn't when the _Grease 2_ song entered my head and I sang along.

_We're gonna score tonight, we're gonna score tonight.  
We're gonna rock, we're gonna roll,  
We're gonna bop, we're gonna bowl.  
We're gonna score, score, score, score, score tonight!_

But Edward busted my proverbial musical number bubble right before the synchronized dance broke out in a public place when he spoke.

"Wait, what?" he asked, suddenly confused.

_Duh, fuck stick! She wants to know which apartment we're going to do the dirty at._ I shook my head at his ignorance. He may be the pretty face of the pair, but I was apparently the brains behind this operation. Speaking of brains, maybe if I acted like a zombie and called out what I wanted him to eat he'd get the picture.

_Puuuusssyyyy... Puuuusssyyy… Puuuusssyyy… Puuuusssyyy… Puuuusssyyy… Puuuusssyyy…_

Apparently my zombie peen impression was a bit rusty, as I was from the lack of play I'd seen recently, because Edward didn't get the memo.

"Which place are we going to do this at?" Bella asked, looking a bit peeved that she was having to spell it out on the sidewalk while they were still busy semi feeling each other up. If her hand moved a little lower she'd be grazing my body.

"Wait a minute," Edward said softly as he dropped his head to Bella's shoulder because, _hallelujah! _Bella's hand was on me. It was on me!

_Slow breaths, deep breaths, do my peen-Lamaze. Don't blow your load. Don't blow your load. _

My pep talks were working and it helped that Edward's head was suddenly out of the game as he wrapped his hand around Bella's wrist and gently pulled her hand away from me.

"Why should we wait? This is all about fucking, right? I want you, you want me," Bella purred as her free hand began snaking a trail back for me and I began to pant with desire. "We're two consenting adults and it's not like we haven't been there, done that before. So, what's the problem? If you don't want me to see the inside of your apartment, it's fine. We can go to mine," Bella finished talking as her free hand suddenly became busy stroking me through the denim.

_Oh yeah, Bella. Psst! Hot Puss! She wants me. You better get ready because I'm going to be knocking on your door next. _

But Edward disrupted my mojo once again as he removed Bella's other hand from me, trapping both of her wrists in his hands and holding them behind her back so that her breasts were pushed out towards him. Being the red blooded man that he was, Edward couldn't help but look down at them admiringly, to which Bella pushed them out more, making him moan and me weep.

"Shit, stop that, Bella. This isn't just about fucking," Edward said, shaking his head to try and clear his thoughts. But I was trying to override them.

_Fuck now, talk later. Sex now, conversation later. Pussy now, words later. Intercourse now, communication later. _Shit, I was running out of synonyms for sex and talking. It sucked being a dick at times.

"Don't you want me, Edward?" Bella asked as she arched her body into us, causing our bodies to tremble under the invisible electric jolt she gave us.

"I do, but…" Edward tried to speak but Bella began dry humping his thigh at that moment. "This…is…about…more…than…Dammit!" Edward yelled, releasing Bella and stepping back until he was leaning against the hood of his car.

"What's wrong, Edward? Can't perform under pressure? Can't work when it's wanted of you?" Bella asked as she sauntered forward and pressed up against us, sandwiching us between the car and her body, which was oozing sex and need.

_Low blow, Bella. Low blow!_

And that low blow was enough to push Edward over the edge. He straightened up and grasped her waist, spinning them around until she was pressed up against the car and I was right up against a very wet, very hot, very needy Hot Puss.

_Oh sweet manna from heaven! I have arrived at the gates before the, dearest Hot Puss. Please, help me with the restrictive zipper and I'll be able to enter your sanctuary. _

"I can definitely perform. Is that what you want, Bella? You want me to take you? Right here, right now, in front of anyone and everyone? Want me to shove my cock in you so deep you can taste my cum in the back of your throat? You know damn well that I can work and perform under pressure and when it's wanted of me. In fact, if I wanted to, I could make you cum right here, so hard and so loud and so long that you scream my name and see fucking stars. Is that what you want?" Edward growled as each word was punctuated with a thrust of his hips, pushing me against an almost naked Hot Puss.

She was literally throbbing and her nectar was practically pouring out of her, soaking my clothed form. She was so fucking wet I could taste her deliciousness through the denim restricting me.

"God, yes," Bella moaned as her head fell back, her hair draping across the hood of the car.

"If that's what you want, if you really want me to fuck you, then you have to do this my way," Edward said, softer this time, as he pulled back, taking me away from my happy place.

_No! Damn you!_

Bella sat up slightly, a dazed look crossing her face as she tried to stand upright on wobbly legs. Edward stepped to the side and opened the passenger door of his car.

"Get in, please," he said, motioning to the interior and Bella looked at him with a puzzled expression but got in and sat down.

Edward shut the car door and took his time walking around the back end, adjusting me in the process, then got in the driver's side and put the car in gear, pulling back onto the road.

He didn't talk to Bella as he drove through the city toward our building, but passed by it and pulled into a twenty-four hour diner a block away.

"What are we doing here?" Bella asked as Edward undid his seatbelt and got out of the car, going around to her side to open her door for her.

"You agreed to do things my way by getting into the car, and this is what I want to do," Edward said matter-of-factly as she got out of the car and scowled at him, clearly not happy with the direction he was going in.

_You're not the only one, sister._

"Let me clue you in on something, I'm a sure thing. You don't need to take me out to eat in order for the night to end in a bed," Bella said and Edward groaned.

"Look," Edward said, spinning around so they were face to face, "I'm not going to lie and say that I don't want you in my bed right now, writhing around and moaning my name, but there's more to it."

"What more could there be?"

Edward sighed heavily as he debated telling her what was really going on in his head. But something decided for him, and he was word vomiting all over her before he knew it.

"I want to get to know you again, be your friend, maybe more one day. I want to show you that you aren't just a piece of ass to me, that I know I fucked up years ago, and that I've changed. I want you to see that the me that worked for you and the real me are two totally different people. And I want you to see that even if you never agreed to sleep with me, even if you never wanted to even kiss me, that I would still want you because you have to be the most beautiful, sexiest, adorable, and downright amazing woman I have ever laid eyes on."

When Edward finished, he realized all he had just spilled and face palmed himself, groaning in embarrassment.

"Oh," was all Bella said as she stood there, an odd look on her face.

Edward peeked through his fingers and saw that she wasn't running away, and took his chance.

"So, are you hungry?" he asked, motioning to the diner's door.

"Um, yeah, I could eat something," Bella said, her voice amplifying the awkward air that surrounded all of us.

And with that, we all entered the diner and sat down at a booth.

The meal was somewhat quiet, with Edward asking only a few questions and Bella supplying minimal answers. The atmosphere was tense between the two, like sexual frustration mixed with extreme suspicion. I tell you, it was unsettling to a dick.

_Fucker just couldn't fuck her first? Damn you! I NEED TO GET WET! I NEED PUSSY!_

But that pussy wasn't going to be coming, or cumming, any time soon it seemed. Why did he have to grow a fucking conscious now? If he wasn't careful, he was going to make me turn into a puss!

When the meal was over, Edward paid the bill and stood up, offering his hand to help Bella up. She looked up at it tentatively, then took his much larger hand and stood up, releasing it quickly once she was standing. But that electric current was still there even after she released us.

The walk to the car was silent, as was the ride back to the building. Once Edward parked, he got out and opened Bella's door for her. After she was out, and the door was shut, he stepped closer to her, trapping her between us and the car.

"I meant what I said. I want to get to know you, to take the time now that I should have all those years ago. I want to make this right," Edward murmured to her, looking into her deep chocolate brown eyes. But, I was preoccupied with Hot Puss, whom I was pinned against.

_I want to fill you again, Hot Puss. I want to feel your wet, tight walls surround me as I plunge into your depths over and over again. I want to embroider my logo on your cervix so if any peen traipses in my territory they know who you belong to. I want you to drown me in your juices and coat me in your scent. I want to make you cum so many times you forget your own name._

Yeah, my wooing was much different that Edward's, but then again, I was just a dick.

"And what if I don't want all that, if I just want you in my bed?" Bella challenged, but in a weak voice. Oh yeah, she was caving to Edward, which was a good thing because Hot Puss was not caving to me, not yet that is.

"Then you'll have to wait me out or not have me at all. That's my deal, Bella. I don't want you to be just another fuck. But, if after getting to know me, all you still want is to scream my name as I fuck you like you've never been fucked before, then you'll get it and I'll leave you alone afterwards. Do we have a deal?" Edward asked, doing his unfair eye smolder thing that had women falling to their knees and begging to suck me.

Bella didn't fall to her knees, and there was no begging taking place, but she did chew pensively on her bottom lip, which sent both Edward and I into a lust-filled frenzy. If she only knew how sexy that look was on her…

"Deal," Bella finally said, breaking Edward and I out of our lusty haze.

She stuck her hand out in the small space that separated her body and Edward's and he returned the handshake. Turning around, he switched hands and held hers tightly as all of us walked inside and up the stairs to her apartment door.

"May I take you out tomorrow night?" Edward asked and Bella just nodded slightly as she looked up at him. "Until then," Edward said as he leaned down, brushing his lips softly against hers.

Then he turned and jogged up the stairs, not entering our apartment until he heard Bella's door open and close, ensuring that she was tucked away safely inside.

Edward finally went in our apartment and I was back upright and throbbing…hard.

"Fine, fuck!" Edward yelled as he turned on some music to drown out the noises he was sure to make once we started.

Stripping down, Edward turned on the shower while I bobbed impatiently out in front. When the water was nice and hot, he stepped inside, grabbed some conditioner, squirted it into his hand, and finally grasped me tightly around my feet, sliding his hand slowly up my body to fully lubricate me.

_Oh fuck! That feels fucking amazing! Mmm, do that again, harder and faster, oh yeah, stroke me just like that. _

Edward's fist tightened and he braced himself against the wall with his other hand, his feet planted firmly apart as he began to stroke me, slowly at first, then faster and faster.

_Oh yeah, that's it. Tighter, faster, harder. Fuck me, that feels so damn good. _

Edward kept pumping me, panting under the exertion as he worked my stiff shaft until I was a pump away from cumming.

With one final shift of his fist, I was purging my baby batter all over the tile wall as Edward screamed Bella's name. The only name that left my lips was Hot Puss.

Sated and spent, I hung limply between Edward's legs, leaning on my brothers for support. They didn't seem to mind though. I didn't even feel when Edward washed me up and finally dried me off.

As I drifted to sleep against his thigh, all I saw was visions of Hot Puss dancing over my head.

* * *

**So, thoughts, comments, anything you want to tell me such as your sock color? Reviews are always loved and appreciated and Rod has offered himself up for Rod Rides if you submit one! See you in two weeks (planned).  
**


	18. Chapter 18 Midnight Rendezvous

**So here we are on the update schedule! GO ME! I hope you like what I did with this chapter. I won't keep you long up here so you can get to the reading. **

**Thanks, as always, go to preciousfairymom80 who is my twifey and best friends and who I will see in just 19 days for the midnight premiere of Breaking Dawn Part 1! FUCKING SQUEE!**

**Disclaimer: We all know I don't own this shit except for the Peen POV and Rod Pattinhead. Oh, and every week there is an interview with him over at thecoldshower(.)wordpress(.)com. Go check it out and ask your own questions!**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 18

Previously:

_Edward kept pumping me, panting under the exertion as he worked my stiff shaft until I was a pump away from cumming._

_With one final shift of his fist, I was purging my baby batter all over the tile wall as Edward screamed Bella's name. The only name that left my lips was Hot Puss._

_Sated and spent, I hung limply between Edward's legs, leaning on my brothers for support. They didn't seem to mind though. I didn't even feel when Edward washed me up and finally dried me off. _

_As I drifted to sleep against his thigh, all I saw was visions of Hot Puss dancing over my head._

A knock on the door woke us and Edward sleepily climbed out of bed, not bothering to cover us up at all. As he cracked the door open, a shaft of light poured in violently from the hallway, temporarily blinding me so that I didn't see who was there at that god awful hour. But Edward's voice told me who it was without me having to see.

"Bella?" Edward half croaked, stuck somewhere between shock, surprise, and desire because, yeah, we were totally naked and I was now standing straight up. "What are you doing here?"

"I...I needed to come see you. I...I need you. Please don't turn me away," Bella said, the desire lacing her voice was like Viagra and I was impossibly hard, almost crying from the strain on my skin.

Edward had sense enough to let her in the apartment and grab a pair of boxers to cover us up with, while he gathered his thoughts. My only thought was 'DO IT!'

When Edward turned around to talk to her, she was right there, grabbing onto his neck and kissing him fiercely. Edward, taken aback, kissed her, but broke it before it could get out of hand, much to Bella's chagrin.

"Wait, Bella, please wait," Edward said, fighting to get the words out due to me standing straight up and yelling at him.

_Fucker! Don't stop! She wants this! I want this! You need to get with the program or don't you have the balls for it? Oh wait, I know you do because they're attached to me and even those two knuckleheads want this! Majority rules, fucker!_

"Don't you want me?" Bella purred as her hands began to travel down Edward's body towards me.

_Say yes! Yes! Fucking say yes!_

"God, you know I do. But I want to do you right, I mean do right by you. I want to show you that you're different," Edward tried to explain but each word came out more and more choked the closer Bella's hand got to me.

_Touch me. Please touch me._

"The only way I'm different is that you won't give into me. And I want you, Edward. I want you, right now, right here. Don't say no to me," Bella practically purred and I could smell the desire oozing out of Hot Puss.

_Come on, man. Just give her what we all want. Don't be a pussy!_

Apparently Edward got the message from all of us, because he grasped Bella's neck at the same moment that she grasped me, and began kissing her like she was oxygen and he was about to pass out. Bella's mouth opened readily, accepting his tongue as it mingled with hers. Her small, soft hand began stroking me through the thin piece of cotton that barely separated us.

_Unf! Fuck yeah, Bella. Stroke me baby. Better yet, how about letting Hot Puss out so I can be stroked by her?_

Edward pulled away, biting back a moan as Bella grasped me tightly.

"Bella," Edward gasped. "Are you sure? Are you sure you want this…with me?" Edward asked, fighting the urge to just devour her whole.

Bella leaned forward, pinning me between Edward, my brothers, and Hot Puss. And holy fuck, did she smell delectable!

"Yes, Edward. Please fuck me," Bella purred and that was all she wrote.

Edward dove back in, his tongue fighting with hers as his hands began to roam, grasping onto her breasts, cupping her ass, and finally moving to Hot Puss, who moaned…fucking moaned!

_Please let me make her moan! Please let me fill her like sausage in a casing! _

Bella started pushing Edward towards the bed until his legs made contact and he fell over backwards. She wasted no time in stripping off her tank top and climbing up onto the bed, straddling me. _STRADDLING ME! Fucking Hot Puss was straddling me!_

"Shit! Bella!" Edward growled as she swiveled her hips on top of us, his hands gripping onto the flesh of her chest, kneading her breasts like a kitten.

_Purr! Fucking purr!_ _Wanna talk kittens? How about you let that kitty out to play? Here pussy, pussy, pussy!_

I was hard as a fucking fireman's pole and I wanted to sound the alarms so that Hot Puss would slide right down my shaft. Fuck, if I got any harder I'd be like a steel girder in a high rise, and Hot Puss could be the exterior to my frame. _Erecting an erection. Need all pusses on the pole stat! _

All that separated me from my dream puss was the cotton of the boxers Edward had unthoughtfully put on me, and the thin material of Bella's barely-there shorts. Panties were nonexistent as Edward found out when he slipped his hand under the waistband and was met with skin, and a throaty moan from Bella.

_Naked! Make her naked! Fuck, make me naked! N!O!W! I need to get wet! Please, I'm dehydrated. I promise you. Here, poke me and see how long it takes for the color to return! I need nourishment and Hot Puss is like my own personally tailored electrolytes. It's like Peen-edalyte. Or Peen-orade. _

Apparently Bella and Hot Puss agreed with my argument because Bella began to shift out of her tiny shorts, inch by delicious inch exposing the rest of her body to us. And fuck was she gorgeous, Hot Puss that is.

She was perfectly groomed, just a small spray of stubble-like hair right over the top of her slit. Her lips were deliciously bare and covered in a liquid sheen of nectar. They were slightly swollen with need and want, and her scent. God it was like a natural perfume that called to me, full of pheromones perfectly tailored to get me going and never let me get soft.

If I thought I was hard before, it didn't even begin to compare to how I was now, getting a full view of the puss of my dreams.

_Fuck, I'd do anything for this puss. I'd wear manties if she wanted me to. I'd shave my entire body and even consider a full waxing if she asked. I. Am. Your. Slave!_

Edward couldn't speak as Bella revealed all of herself to him, but then freely vocalized in a long, breathy moan when she dragged the Coleman tent replica of boxers over my taut skin so that everyone was naked and exposed, ready for the taking.

Edward sat up to fully take in Bella's luscious body but she had other ideas. Pushing on his shoulders, she forced him back onto the bed and settled on the floor between his feet. I was going to protest the lack of Hot Puss views, but when her mouth opened and her tongue snaked out, slowly licking me from feet to eye, I almost spooged all over her face.

_Hold it in. Hold it together. Think Pepto. Think anything that will keep me from prematurely blowing my baby batter in her eye! Oh fuck your tongue is…mmm…fuck… God damn your tongue is like a shiatsu massage for my shaft. Oh yeah, close those lips around my body. Ladies and gentleman, we have HOOVER!_

Bella began to suck on my shaft, eliciting previously unheard noises from Edward while I fought the purge urge. I had to hold my shit together so that I would get to taste Hot Puss, and pulling the _American Pie_ Nadia scene wouldn't work for me. I had to last longer than a minute or twenty.

But, Bella had other ideas in mind, and when she flipped her Orkin switch and vacuumed my shaft, I was a goner, instantly filling her mouth as she swallowed around me. Edward was groaning as he fisted the sheets beside his hips. I expected to fall limply to the side when Bella popped her lips off of me, but the returned sight of a now dripping Hot Puss had me staying straight up stiff and ready for action.

Edward apparently had the same idea because he grabbed Bella and flipped over simultaneously, pinning her to the bed as he attacked her mouth ravenously. She squeaked in surprise, but soon gave it back just as good while pulling her knees up, allowing me to nestle right at her apex.

_Hey there, Hot Puss. Fuck, you're practically drooling all over me. No, baby. Don't be embarrassed. I fucking love it. And your scent… It's like aromatic Viagra for me. See, look at how hard I am, and it's all for you. How about you part the swollen lips like Moses did the Red Sea, and let me walk on in? _

Bella reached down and grasped me, cutting off my conversation with Hot Puss. I was about to go crazy cock on her, but when I saw what she was doing, I began to literally vibrate with excitement.

_Fuck that new Trojan vibrator thingy, just guide me to Hot Puss and I'll run like I'm powered by D-cells!_

Edward realized what Bella was doing just as she lifted her hips and sheathed me in Hot Puss heaven.

_I'm fucking naked. I must be dead! Shit, I am dead! Oh Saint Peter, I see you before the pearl necklace gates. Have I died and gone to Peen Heaven? Please send me back. I haven't yet experienced the explosive orgasmic bliss that I know Hot Puss will provide me with. _

I was apparently sent right back because the stars cleared from my vision and there before me was Hot Puss's cervix, ripe for the marking.

_Rod was here_

Yeah, that Peen-rafiti would have to do because I was out of there before I could post any warnings to other peens that might try to trespass.

"Shit, Bella, let me get a condom," Edward said, finally speaking again, but Bella protested.

"I want to feel you, Edward. I _need_ to feel you," Bella begged, pulling Edward back down so that I was lined up with Hot Puss again. When Edward was back against Bella, she whispered four magical words that gave the green light for skinny dipping. "I'm on the pill."

Those words fueled Edward and me, and I was quickly plunged back into Hot Puss, where I promptly took up the hieroglyphics act again, chiseling away at her insides to warn others not to traipse on my territory. Hot Puss was mine and I was going to make sure that no other peen ever touched her again.

_N_

Edward pulled me out and pushed me back in, hitching Bella's leg up to give me deeper access.

_O_

Bella arched her back, tilting her pelvis so that her clit was rubbed each time Edward thrust me in.

_T_

With a swivel of the hips during a thrust, Bella screamed out, Hot Puss's walls clamping down on me as I was almost forced out with the wave of nectar I was inundated with.

_R_

Edward swiveled and thrust again, making Bella moan, her arms grasping at his shoulders. Nails digging into the flesh over the marks from the earlier make out session with her outside of the club.

_E_

Hot Puss began to pulsate around me, her walls massaging me.

_S_

Bella wrapped her legs around Edward's hips, locking her ankles to help push me deeper in each thrust.

_S_

My face smacked into Hot Puss's cervix, almost engraving it with my likeness.

_P_

Edward pulled Bella to the end of the bed, gripped her hips, and began to pound into her, letting one thumb snake over to her clit, pressing down as I moved in and out with reckless abandon.

_A_

Bella lost control of her speech, garbled nonsense pouring forth from her mouth as she shifted up and down the mattress in time with the thrusts.

_S_

Hot Puss began to drip again, another surge about to come forth from her depths.

_S_

The walls around me kept closing in and I felt like Indiana Peen again as my available space grew smaller and smaller.

_I_

Edward pressed harder into Bella's clit as my brothers began to call forth the hurl gods, Puk-eus and Barf-ollo.

_N_

Hot Puss flooded me again as her walls cinched around me like a corset. Bella screamed out as the orgasm hit her, surging through her body; Edward continuously working her clit while pounding me in.

_G!_

My brothers gave up the fight and let forth the wave of spunk as I began to purge violently deep into Hot Puss, her walls squeezing every last drop out of me.

When Edward finally pulled me back, I got a look at my handiwork on Hot Puss's cervix and was damn proud of myself.

_Rod was here. NO TRESSPASSING!_

In a sudden wave of exhaustion, Edward collapsed on the bed, pulling Bella up against his body, allowing me to nestle up with Hot Puss, who was sighing contentedly.

It didn't take long for all of us to pass out, and the last view I remembered was the sight of Hot Puss glistening with my jizz.

*~*COUP*~*

The alarm blared viciously the next morning and Edward rolled over to smack it.

_Turn it off! You're going to wake up Hot Puss. Wait, Hot Puss? Where was she?_

I stood straight up and looked around but she wasn't there. The bed was in chaotic disarray, hinting that action had happened on it during the night, and there was even a pretty, dried puddle of my abandoned young on the bed right beside where I had been laying.

"Bella?" Edward called out and there was no answer.

Figuring she had snuck out at some point, Edward got up and showered, making sure to wash the dried spooge off of me from our middle of the night activities.

When he got out, he got dressed and appeared to be contemplating going down to talk to her.

_Come on, don't be a pussy. Go talk to her. Maybe if you do, we'll get another play date. And the secret to making good friends is to have lots of play dates! PBS Kids will tell you the same thing._

Edward made up his mind to go ahead and go downstairs, and grabbed his things for the rest of the day.

However, once he was standing in front of her door, he got a case of cold feet. But, before he could tuck tail and run. And before I could even yell at him for being cowardly, Bella's door opened and she stood there, shocked that we were on the other side.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" she asked in a careful tone.

"Oh, um, well…" Edward fumbled with the improv, but quickly got it together. "You didn't say what time to pick you up and I was heading out to get a bite for lunch and wanted to see if you would join me. You know, go ahead and start our date early?" Edward said with a hopeful expression.

"Oh, yeah, I guess that would be alright. I was just heading out for lunch myself. Am I dressed alright?" Bella asked and we finally took the time to take in her appearance.

She was dressed in dark, boot cut jeans and had on a pair of black Chucks. Her top was a plain white tank top, similar to the one from last night, and she had a light jacket slung over her arm. Her makeup was simple and her hair was left down in loose waves.

"You look perfect," Edward said softly as he extended his hand toward her, but she began to laugh instead of taking it. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"You, me, us, we match!" Bella said giggling and Edward finally noticed what he had put on. Dark jeans, black Chucks, and a plain white shirt. He also had a jacket slung over his left arm.

"Well, it must be fate then," Edward said with a smile, which Bella returned as she locked her apartment up and took his hand, allowing him to lead the way.

The small talk that filled the space of the car was meaningless to me. I wanted to know about last night.

_Ask her about last night, Edward. Ask her if I can get a repeat performance tonight. Hell, I'd settle for some road head._

I coaxed Edward to talk to Bella and find out what spurred on her decision last night, not that I was complaining. But I really wanted another turn in Hot Puss. Hell, if I had it my way, I'd be in Hot Puss morning, noon, and night for the rest of eternity. That puss was the finest puss I had ever had the pleasure of submerging myself in, and I couldn't get enough. Hot Puss was like my own personal brand of heroin.

"So, about last night," Edward started, swallowing loudly out of nervousness since he was unsure what exactly to say.

_I'm pretty sure 'thanks for the fuck' wouldn't go over well._

"Yeah, um, sorry about that, I was pretty out of it at the club and you kinda got to me. Then when you said what you said to me, I kinda lost it. Sorry I attacked you like that on the sidewalk," Bella said, a light blush crossing her cheeks and chest.

"Oh, um, it's…it's ok. Really. But that's not what I was talking about," Edward said as they pulled into the parking lot of a steakhouse.

"Then what were you talking about?" Bella asked, turning towards us with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Wait, you don't remember?"

"Remember what? I remember everything at the club and on the way home, all the way until you dropped me off at my door."

"No, you came to my apartment last night."

"I did not!" Bella said loudly, getting defensive. I could tell just by her tone alone. But Edward was on the defensive too.

"Yes you did! You came up there, knocked on my door, and begged me to fuck you!" Edward yelled, not holding anything back.

_I'm just going to hide down here. Yeah, right here, next to my brothers. Maybe if I curl up into a ball, I'll pass for one of them. Do do-do do-do. There is no peen you see. I am not the peen you are looking for._

"Excuse me?" Bella asked, a flabbergasted look on her face.

"You did. Don't try to deny it. You came up there, begged for me, stripped down, and we had sex. I think I'd remember if we had sex," Edward said then instantly cringed, realizing the mistake in what he had just said. "Wait, I take back that last part."

"Yeah, you better. But look, in all seriousness, Edward. I didn't come up to your apartment. I actually took a few more shots when I got home and passed out across my bed, not even bothering to get undressed from my outfit. When I woke up a few hours ago, I was still in that uncomfortable contraption. It wasn't me that came up there." Bella was beginning to sound worried now, like she was fearful that someone else was up there fucking Edward when he had refused her outside of the club just hours prior.

"You're serious? You really didn't come up there? Are you sure this isn't some sort of sick payback from high school?" Edward asked and Bella shook her head.

_Um, Edward? Um…maybe…well…what if…itwasawetdream?_

I ran the last part of that together, embarrassed that it totally could have been. And apparently Edward was beginning to realize it had been because his face grew redder and redder, until he was almost the color of his hair.

"Shit!" Edward cursed, jumping out of the car, pacing the parking spot beside us.

Bella slowly climbed out from the passenger side but kept the car between us.

"Edward, are you ok?" she asked, worry lacing her words.

"Yeah, just fucking embarrassed is all. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Edward muttered, furiously running his hands through his hair.

"Why are you embarrassed?" Bella asked but she had to know. She fucking had to!

"Because…" Edward started to say but stopped. Bella slowly rounded the car and came up to him, making him stop pacing and look at her. Her eyes silently coaxed the reason out of us. "Because I think I had a really fucking hot wet dream of you and now I feel like an ass because I assumed it was real."

There was silence in the air for only three seconds before Bella burst into laughter, bending over at the waist from the force of it.

"It's not funny!" Edward fumed, but a smile was beginning to pull at the corners of his mouth, defying the embarrassment and anger he felt towards us.

_I'm feeling it too man, I'm totally feeling it too._

"It totally is funny! Just imagine how it sounds to me. After all the shit, after the things that happened between us, especially high school and _you_ not remembering," Bella said, making Edward cringe. "You finally get pay back in the form of a wet dream, which has you so worked up, you actually think it's real and then you get pissed because _I_ don't remember the sex, and it didn't even happen at all!" Bella is beyond laughing when she finishes and is into the cackling with tears mode.

"It's not funny," Edward huffed again, but couldn't fight her contagious laughter anymore, finally joining in.

In hind sight, it actually was kind of funny. And the fact that Bella could laugh about it, while bringing up the past, had a silver lining on the whole situation we were in. Maybe things were finally going to be looking up, and I mean that in every sense, for Edward, Bella, Hot Puss, and myself.

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**Well? Rod got naked and got him some...kinda. And I didn't leave it on a cliffie. Things are looking up for these two and are about to start moving forward again! Hope you hit that little green button and leave me some love. Rod will vibrate for you if you do.  
**


	19. Chapter 19 The AVNs and Admissions

**So, um, I have some news... This is the last regular chapter of COUP. I didn't see it coming either, but it happened during the brainstorming for this chapter. You see, I've never had a plan for COUP other than to tell it from the Peen POV, have Edward be a porn star, and have him end up with Bella in the end. I didn't know how I was going to accomplish it, or how it would be received, but it has been a fantastic journey. There will be an epilogue posted in 2 weeks, and I've got an idea that I will let you all know about then, but for now, on with the show.**

**Thanks go to preciousfairymom80, who is the best beta I could have ever asked for! And in a few short days, we will get to see each other for the first time in 2 freaking years (last time was the midnight premiere of New Moon) when we get together for the midnight premiere of Breaking Dawn Part 1! FUCKING SQUEEEEEE!  
**

**We all know I don't own Twilight but I do own Rod Pattinhead and the Peen POV!**

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The COUP Chapter 19

_Previously:_

_"It totally is funny! Just imagine how it sounds to me. After all the shit, after the things that happened between us, especially high school and you not remembering," Bella said, making Edward cringe. "You finally get pay back in the form of a wet dream, which has you so worked up, you actually think it's real and then you get pissed because I don't remember the sex, and it didn't even happen at all!" Bella is beyond laughing when she finishes and is into the cackling with tears mode._

_"It's not funny," Edward huffed again, but couldn't fight her contagious laughter anymore, finally joining in._

_In hind sight, it actually was kind of funny. And the fact that Bella could laugh about it, while bringing up the past, had a silver lining on the whole situation we were in. Maybe things were finally going to be looking up, and I mean that in every sense, for Edward, Bella, Hot Puss, and myself. _

It had been three months since that day in late October, when Bella finally agreed to go on that fateful lunch date with Edward and me. And what a time it had been, full of dates, heavy make out sessions, several oral fixes, and many, many, many wet dreams. Hot Puss was still not actually speaking to me, not like any puss ever really had. They all just smiled like the good doughnuts they were, and Hot Puss was no exception, except for the fact that I still hadn't popped her doughnut hole, not since high school.

_All in good time, my pussy, all in good time._

Edward had been working hard on the show and the first few episodes were shot and ready to go if the pilot did well. And Cold Shower Studios was getting a name for itself. So much, in fact, that it was up for several noms at the AVN Awards, and Edward had just been notified that we were up for Best Actor and Male Performer of the Year. Several of his video costars were also up for noms, Edward and Stephanie were up for Best Oral Sex Scene, Edward and Nyddi were up for Most Outrageous Sex Scene, and even Bleriana was up for an award, Best New Starlet, one of the most coveted awards handed out. She had really come a long way since I painted her with my man mix. Bella was even up for several awards, Best Screenplay and Best Overall Marketing Campaign.

It was why we were all in Vegas in January, getting ready in our rooms for the Oscars of Porn, as many people referred to the AVNs. Edward's room was conveniently located right next to Bella's, a feat he managed by wooing the desk clerk when Bella wasn't watching. I was hoping that after tonight, one of the rooms would be null and void and that Bella and Hot Puss would be in bed with us, wrapped around me, moaning and screaming for all to hear.

_Yeah, but not my damn name. Why can't any of the pusses ever scream my name? No, it's all Edward, Edward, Edward! _

Yeah, I was a jealous peen, sue me!

While Edward got everything laid out for tonight, his tux and accessories pressed and ready to wear, I began to think about Hot Puss, which was something I found myself doing quite often. It used to be any puss that crossed my mind got me all hard and ready, but now I found that Hot Puss was the center of those thoughts and that other pusses really didn't do much for me anymore. We even ran into Shay downstairs in the restaurant earlier and there were only little blips on my radar of peentivity. Even when she described the outfit she was wearing for presenting tonight, I still only got a little thick, but not rigid.

It seemed as if there was only one puss for me anymore, and I hadn't even had a jaunt in her in years. What in the hell was happening to me?

"Shave or scruffy?" Edward said to himself and I looked up, finally taking note of what he was talking about, to himself, nonetheless.

"Shave, definitely shave," he remarked as he grabbed the shaving cream and began to lather up his face.

_What are you so indecisive about? Dude, are you growing a puss I don't know about? You're being awfully girly with the primping._

And he really was! He had trimmed his eyebrows, gotten a manicure and a pedicure, across town so he wouldn't be seen, and had even given me a haircut, something that hadn't happened in a long time. _I was seriously looking hippyish for a while there._

_Dude, seriously, what's going on?_

"I wonder if Bella prefers scruffy…she hasn't mentioned it so far," Edward mused to himself. _Ahhhh, so the female has caused you to weaken. Is she your kryptonite? Are you getting soft for her? Not me, I'm hard for Bella and Hot Puss! All! The! Time! _

"No, she seems to prefer smooth, from the way she nuzzles me after kissing me. I'll shave for her," Edward said again and began wielding the razor.

_Wait. Was this? Was he? No! He couldn't be! It wasn't possible!_

"I hope she likes my tux… Shit! I wonder what she'll be wearing. I hope she wins tonight. I could care less if I did, but she just has to!"

_Oh fuck. He was!_

Edward was doomed, which meant I was too. I just hung my head and awaited the evening that would change everything.

*~*TheCOUP*~*

Two hours later, Edward was showered, shaved, and shined, ready and waiting for the clock to hit five so he could go next door to Bella. Watching the minutes count down, Edward became increasingly more fidgety, to the point that I almost couldn't stand it. I was about fucking ready to amputate myself and hop home on my brothers.

But the clock chimed before I could locate a scalpel, and Edward was up and moving to the door, tux impeccably in place as he moved with excitement and eagerness. He made sure he had everything off of the counter and exited to the hallway, standing in front of Bella's room while he calmed himself down.

I had to admit that I was a bit anxious too, because I had a feeling that Hot Puss was going to torture me all night with the outfit Bella probably put her in.

Lifting his hand to knock, he took a deep breath, and then let his knuckles rasp the wood. A moment later, the door opened and we were both speechless.

Bella was wearing a midnight blue gown that had a deep V neckline and almost touched the floor. It had thin straps over the shoulders, but the sides were almost completely open. Seriously, the only material covering Bella's sides was six small strips of matching lace that started right beside her breasts and stopped right beside Hot Puss. If she moved the wrong way, all would be bared because there was no way on earth that she could have any panties on with that ensemble.

She paired it off with some heels and jewelry but I couldn't be bothered to even tell you what they looked like, because I could smell the desire pouring off of Hot Puss after Bella looked us up and down.

Tenting a pair of tuxedo pants was slightly difficult, but I almost managed it.

_Want…fuck…NOW!_ I went all Captain Cavepeen again at the sight of Bella and assumed sight of Hot Puss.

Edward was worse off. One look at Bella and he was done for. It was official! Edward Cullen was officially off the market unless you were Bella Swan. And I couldn't complain either. With a puss like Hot Puss, I needed no other…I hoped.

Bella leaned in to kiss Edward on the lips, but he devoured her, pressing her against her open door, hitching one of her legs up, and pressing me into Hot Puss heaven, who was fucking naked! NAKED! And not just in the sense of having no clothes on. No! Oh no! Bella had her fucking bare and I wanted to dive right in, AVNs be damned!

But Bella, who was moaning and gyrating her hips, had other ideas, and settled the kiss down, slowly extracting herself from our snare.

"Wow, what a way to welcome a lady," she said breathlessly.

"When the lady's as stunning as you, there's no other way," Edward replied and offered the crook of his arm to Bella for the trip to the ballroom.

She straightened her dress and grabbed a clutch, closed her door, and took the offered arm as we all began the journey to the awards show orgy, because nudity, groping, and vulgarity reigned supreme at the AVNs. _ I mean, come on! We're porn stars for crying out loud! We have no shame!_

Cameras were flashing and people were crowding around us as we entered the ballroom. Names were shouted, people screamed, and hands reached out, but we smiled and made our way to the table for Cold Shower Studios, which just happened to be right next to the table for Volturi Videos.

There were hugs, kisses, and multiple greetings before everyone settled in for the ceremony, but I couldn't care less once Bella began stroking Edward's thigh, barely grazing me with every pass.

I was so lost in the sensation that I didn't even hear Edward's name being called. We won everything we were up for, even Male Performer of the Year, which was odd seeing as how we had officially 'retired.' But it was fucking amazing nonetheless.

Bella, and Cold Shower Studios, won the awards they were up for, and the night was a complete success.

But, even with all the scantily clad women surrounding us, Edward and I only had eyes for Bella and Hot Puss. It was official. Even without sex, we were whipped and completely and totally infatuated with the woman and puss at our side.

The after party was in full swing, clothes quickly becoming null and void, when Bella pressed up against us, whispering in Edward's ear.

"Let's go upstairs," she said in a husky, need filled voice, and we were off.

Edward grasped Bella's hand and pulled her through the crowd, clutching his awards in his free arm. The elevator couldn't come fast enough, but it finally did and Bella eagerly pressed the button for the twelfth floor.

When the doors reopened, Edward quickly exited, pulling Bella with us, and only dropped her hand to fish out the door key for our room. Once inside, he put the last AVN Awards we would ever receive on the table, took Bella's from her hands, and then attacked.

Lips meshed together and tongues delved into mouths as Edward and Bella began feverishly pawing at one another, slowly moving toward the bed. I was hard and rigid in the tuxedo pants, practically weeping for a chance to finally be seated inside of Hot Puss.

I could smell her want and need dripping down Bella's thighs when Edward pushed her down on the bed and lay on top of her. _Oh fuck! Hot Puss. I want you. I need you. I need to be inside of you._

Bella seemed to agree with me as she began to undress Edward, quickly removing the jacket, bowtie, shirt, belt, and began working on the pants that would free me. Edward wasted no time in helping her out and quickly stood there naked as Bella appreciated the view.

Before he could make the move to undress her, she leaned over me and I was engulfed by the warmth of her mouth.

_Oh sweet Jesus! I have died and gone to heaven. _

The warmth, wetness, and suction had me whimpering as Bella bobbed her head quickly up and down my shaft, her tongue swirling around my head, trailing down my vein, and teasing my mouth. I knew that if she kept it up, I'd be purging down her throat, and apparently Edward knew too, because he pulled her off of me, before eagerly devouring her mouth with his.

_Good save, bro. Good save._

I couldn't go that quickly. It would tarnish my reputation. Besides, I wanted to save myself for Hot Puss.

Edward seemed to agree with me, and he began undressing Bella, removing her shoes first, then he worked on the dress, slowly taking the zipper down the back until the material fell loosely from her shoulders, leaving her standing there completely bare.

Dropping to his knees, as if in prayer, Edward surprised Bella and began to languidly lick at Hot Puss. Which made me fucking jealous as hell. The moans that began to fall from Bella's lips were like an orgasmic symphony, rapidly rising to a crescendo of screams as Edward slipped two fingers into Hot Puss while biting down on her clit, sending Bella into a leg shaking orgasm.

Once she had come down, Edward guided her back onto the bed and slowly mounted her, gently kissing her. But he pulled back before things went farther, much to my dismay.

"Bella, are you sure you want this? Because if we do this, I promise you that there's no going back. I want you so badly, and so fiercely, that once I have a taste, my appetite will be insatiable. But I need to know if that's what you want, if I'm who you want." Edward said, looking deep into Bella's chocolaty eyes, awaiting a reply.

"Yes, yes, Edward. I want this, you, all of it. Take me, Edward," Bella breathed out as she spread her legs and grasped Edward's hips, slowly guiding me to Hot Puss.

_This is it! It's actually going to happen! Oh my god, oh my god, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod! Shit! Don't become a fanpeen! Get it together Rod! Peen up!_

Edward slowly reached down to grasp me at my feet and ran my face up and down Hot Puss's slit, coating me in her arousal. _SHIT! Hot Puss tastes good!_

Keeping eye contact with Bella, he pressed his hips forward, and then the world ceased to exist. I was in Hot Puss, fully engulfed in a five alarm fire of heat, sex, desire, want, and need. It was overwhelming and nowhere near enough all at the same time.

I had been in pusses before, I had had my way with many of them, but none of them compared to the feel of Hot Puss wrapped around my naked body, constricting me with waves of pleasure as I began to slowly pump in and out of her.

There was no sudden urge to mark my territory, to lay down a claim on her. I could feel it, sense it in the motions…Hot Puss was forever mine and I had no problem being pussy whipped by her. I was a whipped peen in a matter of seconds, and all it took was the feel of Hot Puss as I filled and stretched her to the brink.

I was lost in a puss induced haze as Edward slowly pumped me in and out of Hot Puss. I heard the kisses, moans, groans, and utterances from above, but couldn't care less. There was no need for dirty talking Hot Puss, either. The encounter between us was silent as we both basked in the essence of our joining.

I can't tell you how much time passed. It could have been minutes or hours, but I can perfectly describe to you how Hot Puss felt around me…on me…

Eventually Edward quickened his pace and I began to pound in and out of Hot Puss, drawn out of my haze as I felt the tell-tale pull of my brothers signaling my impending release. I couldn't fight it off at all.

I literally saw stars and roared as my little swimmers surged forth out of me, filling Hot Puss to the brim, coating her walls with my spunk.

And then it was over and I lay limply on Edward's thigh as he and Bella kissed, touched, and caressed until they both fell asleep, wrapped around one another.

That night I dreamed peaceful dreams of pusses in white walking down an aisle, of little peens and pusses running around the back yard, and of Hot Puss sitting beside me on the porch swing.

There was no denying it. Edward and I were unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Bella and Hot Puss, and I couldn't have been happier.

* * *

**So, um, what did you think? As I said above, there will be an epilogue in two weeks where there will be HOT SEX! Yes, I said it, HOT SEX! I know this lemon wasn't like the others in the story, and there was the haze of love veiling Rod's eye, but next time it will be all bets off and I promise to send this story out with a bang. I'd love to hear from you and read your thoughts and feelings on Rod and Hot Puss. I can honestly say that Rod has been one of my most favorite characters I've ever written. **

**And, while you're waiting for the epilogue, don't forget to check out my newest story, and total guilty pleasure, Cougar Town. I promise you won't be sorry!**

**See you in 2 weeks with the epi and final chapter of COUP! :(**


	20. Chapter 20 Epilogue

**So, here is the end. And I'm sad. But I want to say thank you to each and every one of you who went on this crazy ride with me. There were laughter, tears, surprising moments, and some that made us wet. We won awards, and Edward and Rod even did weekly interviews over at The Cold Shower blog on wordpress. Rose Arcadia made me the best blinkie I have ever seen. And you wonderful readers spread word of Rod to the masses. I'm so sorry to see this story go, but if you stick around at the bottom, I have a little note to share with you all.**

**Thanks, to the end of eternity, go to preciousfairymom80. Crystal, another story is over and you held my hand for the wild roller coaster ride that it was. I still remember your reluctance when I suggested a story entirely from the peen pov, but you grew to love Rod Pattinhead and I'm so thankful that you are my best friend and beta. I love you chicky!**

**We all know I don't own Twilight, but Rod Pattinhead is forever mine!**

* * *

The COUP Chapter 20 – Epilogue

Rod's POV (as always)

_Mmm, Hot Puss, baby. Shit, you're so tight. Yeah, take me, baby. You know you love it when I stuff you like a stocking. I'll be your Santa baby. Let me slide down your chimney and fill you with my swimming presents._

"Edward! If you're going to fuck me, please just do it and not fuck my thighs. I'm starting to chafe down there from your sleep humping," Bella whined as she smacked at Edward, effectively ending the dream I was having. But she did say I could fuck Hot Puss…_Oh Edward!_

"Huh, what?" Edward said, half asleep as he rubbed me languidly. _Fuck that feels so good. But Hot Puss would feel better. Come on, Eddie boy, get with the program._

"Never mind. Besides, you need to get up. You're meeting with Emmett McCarty today, remember?" Bella said as she rolled out of bed and strolled across the room completely naked, Hot Puss grinning at me the entire way. _Yeah, we've become really great friends over the last eleven months. _

"Oh yeah," Edward groaned, finally scooting to a sitting position on the bed. "I still can't believe that he set up the meeting for today. It's the day after Christmas for Christ's sake! Doesn't anyone take a break?" _Nope! We didn't even take a break for Christmas. Mmm, Naked Christmas may just become a new tradition if Rod Pattinhead has his way._

"Don't whine. It's not attractive on you. Besides, you can't pass up this opportunity. He's directing that new action flick and he's interested in you for the lead. Plus, you know there are people working for me today." Bella did have a point. But as I watched her slide into some clothes for the day, I cursed the day they were invented because they covered up Hot Puss.

"True. So what are you going to do all day?"

"Probably head to the studio and look over some of the shoots, pick out stills, stuff like that. Want to meet up there later and head out together? I'll probably be busy until around nine or so."

"Sure, sure, sounds good," Edward said before hopping up and heading for the shower. It was already noon and our meeting with Mr. McCarty was at four, but Edward wanted to be early for the meeting.

This was his big break for acting. The TV show was a total success, earning Edward instant fame for his skills. And, of course, his legion of fans from the porn world followed over to see him in action, even if it was fully clothed.

Kissing Bella goodbye in the parking garage, Edward got into his car and headed off for the meeting that might completely change our lives. I could just see it now, my name in lights…

_Now showing! King Dong starring Rod Pattinhead! SuperPeen starring Rod Pattinhead! And, BatPeen starring, you guessed it, Rod Pattinhead! I could even get my peen print in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater. I could receive a star on the Walk of Fame! I would be an epic peen!_

*~*TheCOUP*~*

It was already nine and Edward and I were rushing across town to Cold Shower Studios, hoping that Bella wouldn't be pissed that we were running late. The meeting with Mr. McCarty was perfect, and he said that Crystal, our agent/manager, should be expecting a call next week with more information about coming in for a read through and a few test scenes.

But, when we pulled up to the building, Edward and I both began to panic at the flashing blue and red lights that filled the parking lot.

Edward threw the car into park, yanked the keys out, and threw the door open. Next thing I knew, we were busting through a group of police who tried to chase after us, but Edward had a great head start and I was just along for the ride.

Entering the lobby, there was another officer talking with a fire fighter, and both tried to grab us as we turned the corner and headed straight for Bella's office.

_Please let Hot Puss be ok! Please let Bella be ok!_

Standing outside Bella's office door, another officer and a paramedic were finally able to stop Edward, who began to scream for Bella. They weren't letting him into the room and I had a feeling that something really bad happened to her.

But, before Edward could scream and panic for too long, Bella's voice rang out.

"Edward?" she said, surprised and then her voice changed to one of ease. "Edward!"

The two men finally released Edward and we flew into the office, pulling Bella into our arms.

"What happened, baby?" Edward asked while I nuzzled a visibly shaken Hot Puss.

"We were getting a set tore down since filming had cut and three technicians were up on scaffolding to remove some of the lights when something went wrong. The scaffolding just collapsed underneath them and they fell! There were also people on set helping to clear out the props and the techs, Seth, Paul, and Sam, and the scaffolding, fell right on them. Leah, Emily, and Angela had to be pulled out from underneath the mess. But somehow, none of them were seriously hurt. It was like they landed just right or moved at the right time and it's mostly scrapes and bruises. Sam got it the worst with a broken arm when he dove off the scaffolding to protect Emily. He ended up grabbing her and rolling out of the way at the last second, but snapped the bone when he landed."

Shit! But at least Bella and Hot Puss were ok.

"Ok, let's get everything finished up here and I'm getting you home and relaxed," Edward hushed her before she could get too worked up again, and then helped her finish up with the reports, as well as gather camera footage for the police to go over. Being in the business we were in, there was always at least one camera rolling in every studio.

Finally done, Edward and I took Bella home and set her up with a nice hot bath and then cuddled her in bed the rest of the evening. Edward didn't have anything to film until after the first of the year, so every day we went in to work with Bella, helping her get things back in order and making sure that no other freak accidents occurred.

A detective came by one day to inform us that, according to the film, it appears that the scaffolding was just old and collapsed. There wouldn't be any charges filed or anything, and Cold Shower Studios had already agreed to cover any and all medical bills associated with the accident.

And, things were finally looking back up. Edward and I had a plan to take Bella and Hot Puss out for New Years Eve, which was tomorrow, and hoped that everything went down as planned. There was a huge party around the Space Needle and there would be tons of people, entertainment, and fireworks. It was our first New Years Eve as an official couple because last year's sitting beside one another on a couch, watching it on TV, and kissing on the cheek didn't count.

*~*TheCOUP*~*

It was New Years Eve, finally, and Bella had gone into work without us today. Edward promised that we'd meet her later and then set to work on everything.

After he was sure she was gone, he started digging in the spare closet that Bella had piled some boxes in, knowing that she had a few nicer cocktail dresses. He had made reservations months ago at the Space Needle for a late dinner, then we would be heading downstairs to watch the fireworks with everyone else just before midnight.

He already had the ring box in his pocket, and was dressed and ready to go when he started searching for the dresses.

Box after box came up empty, but there was a larger, flat box on the bottom that looked like it would contain some of her dresses, and when he finally dug it out, there weren't any dresses to be found. Instead, it was had a few VHS tapes nestled in some towels for apparent safe keeping. Picking one up and looking closer, Edward's jaw hit the floor and I stood up immediately.

On the cover was Bella, wearing only a g-string, and she was on her knees looking over her shoulder at the camera. The title was what really got us going... 'Back Door Bella' was apparently something that she had been hiding from us and I had the sudden urge to watch it.

Edward must have had the same idea because he ran to the other closet to dig out the ancient VCR, finally finding her dresses when he opened the door, and he hooked it up as fast as he could.

Praying to everything that was holy, Edward slid the tape in, making the decrepit machine whir, and then the picture came onto the screen.

_Oh holy fuck me! Bella did porn! Bella was in a porn! Bella took it up the ass in a porn!_

Slack jawed, Edward and I watched the film in awe as Bella moaned and groaned her way to stardom. _Hey, Edward? How is it we didn't know about this?_

"How did I not know about this?" Edward said to himself.

_Yeah, just asked you that, douche!_

"Fuck me, yeah, fuck me big boy. Pound my pussy! Shove your huge dick up my ass. Fuck yeah…Mmmm… I love it when you fuck my ass," Bella's voice came out of the speakers and it snapped Edward out of his daze.

He ejected the tape, slid it back into its box, grabbed the first little black dress he saw for Bella, and headed out the door to the studio. _Bella had some explaining to do._

When we arrived, she was busy on set so we waited in her office, Edward pacing restlessly.

About an hour later, she finally appeared and looked surprised to see us there already.

"Hey, baby! I was just about to call you. Everyone just cleared out," Bella said with a smile as she skipped across the room and kissed us. Edward kissed her back but not as enthusiastically, which Bella noticed. "Are you ok? Do you want to cancel tonight and just stay in?"

"No, I'm fine, kind of. But, can I ask you something?" Edward said, trying to control his voice.

"Of course," Bella said, not realizing what was about to go down.

"When were you going to tell me about this?" Edward asked, his expression hardening as he produced the tape and dropped it onto her desk.

"Oh, fuck!" Bella moaned as she covered her face with her hands.

"Yeah, I think that was one of your lines in there," Edward said, acid leaking into his tone.

"Excuse me? Are you pissed at me because I did a few videos? Isn't that a little bit of a double standard?" Bella countered, immediately on the defensive.

"No, not pissed that you did it, pissed that you didn't tell me and pissed that I had to see you with another man!" Edward shouted back.

"So you're jealous? Isn't that still a double standard? After all, how many women have you fucked on camera?" _Oh shit! Psst! Hot Puss? Can I come hide in you? This doesn't look like it's going to end prettily._

"Fuck yes I'm jealous! I haven't even had that many opportunities to be all up in your ass!" Edward yelled and the room went silent.

Bella looked at him for a second as her expression morphed into one of planning.

"So, you're jealous that another man was in my ass?" she asked, stepping closer to him.

"Damn straight!"

"And you're pissed that we haven't done much anal, right?" Another step closer.

"Fuck yeah!"

"And what if I told you that we hadn't because you haven't really asked or initiated?"

"Uh…" Edward lost the anger and began to stumble over his words as Bella stepped closer and closer, suddenly looking sexier than we had ever seen her. Hot Puss was smiling wickedly at me and I had a feeling that things were about to get interesting.

"And you don't like the fact that I did a video and didn't tell you?"

"Um…" Edward said but then nodded slowly.

"So what if I said that we need to screw the plans for tonight and just have you screw me instead, on film, anything goes, and I mean _anything_," Bella emphasized the last word as she turned around and wiggled her ass at me while looking over her shoulder, much like the cover image from the video.

And that was all it took for Edward to switch from angry asshole to lust filled nympho. He attacked, latching onto Bella's mouth over her shoulder while he thrust my stiff as hell shaft against her ass.

Bella moaned and twisted in his grasp, pulling him closer to her and me closer to Hot Puss. But, before we could get down to business right then and there, she broke the kiss and spoke the words that almost made me spooge.

"Set three, now!"

_Oh it's going to be on like donkey kong in a minute!_

That was all it took, and Edward, knowing the way, grabbed Bella's hand and began running down the halls and through the empty building.

Throwing open the door, Bella reached for the lights and then released Edward's hand as she went to the cameras, turning them all on and making sure they pointed to the bed.

_Fuck yes, this was really going to happen. Edward was temporarily back in the porn business with the perfect partner. And I got to fuck Hot Puss on camera and relive it over and over and over and over! Hope you're ready Hot Puss, because Rod's going to tear you up! Oh, and let your neighbor know that company's coming!_

Edward hastily stripped, which Bella mimicked after she got the cameras set up, and then she met us on set, under the lights, in front of the blinking red buttons.

"You sure you want to do this?" Edward asked, looking Bella up and down like he was going to eat her alive.

"Fuck me, yeah, fuck me big boy," Bella purred, reciting one of her lines from her video, and Edward pounced, grabbing her and throwing her down onto the bed as he wasted no time in latching onto Hot Puss with his mouth.

Bella moaned out, her fists grasping the sheets as Edward licked her clit roughly. Her head thrashed back and forth when he took two fingers and shoved them deep within Hot Puss, curling them at the right spot so she spasmed around them.

Hot Puss flooded Edward's fingers as she gushed forth, making Bella's back arch up off the bed as she screamed. But Edward wasn't done. He continued to lick Hot Puss like she was a lollipop as he slowly slid his fingers out, making sure that they were coated with her juices, and then he began to tease Hot Puss's neighbor, knocking at the door to the dark side.

_I was Peenikan Pussfucker and was about to cross over to the dark side and become Darth Peen!_

Bella moaned and spread her legs further, inviting Edward in, and in he went, his fingers sliding through the tight hole with ease due to the natural lubricant.

Slowly, Edward fucked Bella's ass and licked Hot Puss, while I openly wept for my turn. I was seriously a leaky faucet at this point, and we were just beginning.

Edward picked up speed with his hand, pumping his two fingers into Bella's ass faster and faster as he licked Bella's clit in a matched pace. As rapidly as the first, Bella's second orgasm arrived and Hot Puss almost sprayed Edward in the face, which he eagerly licked up.

"I hope you can handle more than that, because we aren't anywhere near done yet," Edward said, pulling away from Bella as he walked across the room to the shelf of toys. Grabbing down a magic wand and a bottle of lube, he stalked back over to the bed and bent down for the extension cord for the wand, plugging it in and setting it on the bed.

"Bring it, baby. Pound my pussy," Bella said breathlessly before biting her lip; and that line from the video, coupled with the look on her face, had Edward attacking her again.

He pounced and I knew that I was finally going to get some play.

_Oh yeah, Rod's about to go to O-Town! I hope the roads are clear because I'm running all the red lights so I can get in Hot Puss…NOW!_

Edward's mouth claimed Bella's at the same time that he gripped me and thrust me home, filling Hot Puss fully.

Bella's moan broke through the lip lock and I grinned in satisfaction. Hot Puss was fucking soaked and it was like I was on a slip and slide! _Slide in, slide out, slide in, slide out!_ But even with the ease, she was still tight as can be, clamping down on me like I was in a choke hold.

SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!

The force of Edward's thrusts was causing the headboard of the bed to bang into the wall but none of us even cared. Edward was grunting, Bella was panting, Hot Puss was leaking, and I was in peen heaven as I brought Hot Puss to her third fucking orgasm.

She flooded me so damn much that I felt like I was a Ghostbuster and had just been slimed. But did I give a fuck? FUCK NO! _Who you gonna call? Pussbusters!_

_Mmm, Hot Puss. Is your back door ready? You want me to barge in from behind? Say the word and I'm up there!_

"On your hands and knees, now!" Edward commanded Bella as he stalked around the bed, watching her scamper to get in position, all eager and shit.

_Fuck! Why hadn't we done this sooner? I was fucking hard as shit! Pun totally intended._

Hot Puss was dripping for me, fucking salivating! But I had other holes to go spelunking in!

_Hey Edward, did you grab the helmet with the light attached to it for me? _

Edward moved back behind Bella and picked up the bottle of lube, coating me generously before drizzling it down Bella's ass crack.

"What do you want, baby? Tell me and it's yours," Edward cooed at her as he picked up the magic wand, switched it on, and began to rub it between her legs, directly over her swollen clit.

"I want…" Bella tried to say but a moan broke through. "I want you to…" she tried again and a louder moan erupted. Taking a deep breath, Bella screamed out what she, and all of us in the room wanted. "Shove your huge dick up my ass!"

_Fuck! I think I almost came from those words! I swear if she delivers another line from that video, I'm going to blow my load!_

Edward didn't verbally respond, getting into position behind her and setting the magic wand aside instead. Positioning me at the cave of wonders, Edward gently grasped me and ran my face up and down Bella's crack to prepare her, then centered me and slowly pushed me in.

_I was like Aladdin and felt the urge to break into song… _

_A whole new world__  
__A new fantastic point of view__  
__No one to tell us no or where to go__  
__Or say we're only dreaming_

The resistance against my face was insane; Edward would push forward, I'd get pushed back. But slowly, ever so slowly, I inched my way in, deeper and deeper as the light quickly vanished around me, plunging me into a world of darkness.

_Hmmm, power must be out_.

Suddenly I stopped advancing and I realized that I was fully seated in Bella's back room. But I wasn't motionless for long as Edward slowly drew me out and pushed me back in. Again, out and back in, never fully exiting on any of the thrusts.

"Mmm, faster," Bella purred and Edward complied, sliding me in and out at a quicker pace.

"Fuck, harder!" Bella growled and Edward gripped her hips tightly and began to thrust roughly into Bella, so hard and fast that the sound of skin slapping was echoing in the room.

The black abyss was so damn tight I knew I wasn't going to last my normal amount of time. I just prayed that I made a decent show of action before it was all over.

But, my time was cut even shorter when Bella reached beside her, grabbed the magic wand, and pressed it to her clit, turning it on high.

I felt the vibrations even seated as deeply as I was, and it wasn't going to take much more to make me release my super swimmers.

Edward thrust harder and harder, and I felt Bella begin to spasm around me; but what she screamed out next was the end to it all.

"Fuck yeah…Mmmm… I love it when you fuck my ass!"

_And…I…came…_

That line from the video, coupled with the thrusting, vibrations, tightness, and spasms, had me practically having an epileptic fit as my baby batter shot out of me with enough force to knock down walls.

Bella was convulsing to the point, she collapsed down onto her chest while Edward thrust one last time and let out a guttural groan that sounded prehistoric.

Finally coming down, Edward located the still vibrating magic wand and switched it off, discarding it to the side before pulling out slowly.

_And Rod said, 'Let there be light!'_

Temporarily blinded, I squinted with my good eye and hung limply as Edward stumbled across the room for towels to clean us up.

Coming back to the bed, Edward cleaned Bella and Hot Puss up before turning his attention to me.

Once we were all tidy, we redressed while Bella got all the footage and then we headed to the editing room to look it over.

Edward took the chair and Bella sat on his lap as she started to work the equipment, bringing up each angle as she began to cut and paste, mesh and merge, and make the final product.

But rewatching the footage had me ready for round two and Bella and Hot Puss definitely felt me growing beneath them.

_Heh! I'm like Jaws… Duh dun, duh dun, duh dun. _

"Edward!" Bella scolded him playfully and went to smack his leg, but found the lump of the jewelry box instead.

She patted around it for a second as her eyes began to widen and Edward knew that it was now or never. He stood up quickly and placed Bella back in the chair before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the box. Kneeling down onto the floor, he began to speak.

"Bella, you are the woman I was always meant to be with. You ground me when I'm out of control and you excite me when I'm down. You're beautiful, talented, amazing, forgiving, and I love you more than I ever thought possible. I know that we didn't start off on the right foot, either of the times we were near one another, but somehow our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls gravitated toward one another. You are my life now and forever more; and you would do me the greatest honor if you would become my wife. Will you marry me?" Edward popped open the ring box displaying the princess cut emerald surrounded by a diamond halo, all set into platinum.

Bella's hands were shaking as they covered her mouth and tears streamed down her face.

She didn't say anything for a moment, but then she finally moved, dropping down onto the floor in front of Edward as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him over and over as she squealed 'yes' repeatedly.

Hot Puss was pressed right up against me and I couldn't have been happier. Edward had his woman and I had my puss. Life was good.

Edward finally slipped the ring onto Bella's finger and then they kissed some more, but Edward broke it this time.

"Let's get our movie and head home, Future Mrs. Cullen," which made Bella grin wildly. She quickly formatted the film and burned it to a disk before storing all the footage onto a thumb drive and erasing it from the equipment.

On the ride home, Edward and Bella talked about getting married, what each wanted, how to tell their families, and whatnot. But I only had one thing on my mind… _So, Hot Puss, when you and I get hitched are you going to be Hot Pattinhead or Hot Puss Pattinhead?_

Either way, HP or HPP, Hot Puss would be forever my puss and I was officially the happiest peen in the world. It may be hard to be a dick, but I'll take that job any day as long as I can have my Hot Puss by my side.

**THE END**

* * *

**So, as I said above, thank you so much for coming on this ride with me. I know I didn't get a chance to respond to many reviews, but I read every single one of them and some made me laugh, others made me cry, but all were loved!**

**And for the news, Rod isn't forever gone! I just couldn't give him up so I've decided to write a small collection of oneshots, whenever the mood or inspiration strikes, and they will all be grouped together in a story called Ramblings of a Whipped Peen. I don't know when I'll post the first one so put me on alert if you want to watch for them! But I already have a few ideas for different oneshots! So, stay tuned for small snippets of Rod coming to a web page in your future.  
**


	21. Update on Original Fiction

Update on Original Fiction

So back in October, I finished my last fanfiction and moved to writing only original fiction. I started out with NaNoWriMo (a challenge to write 50,000 words in 30 days) and I did it, writing 2/3rds of my first original fiction. I finished it up by the end of December and then had it preread by several, and edited by two.

Submissions to literary agents started after that and I was rejected by all, but it was kind of expected as I know how hard it is for a new author to obtain a literary agent without near bribery conditions or heavy connections, especially in the erotica genre. So, I moved to submitting to publishing houses after that and was shocked to have two interested in publishing my book. The first loved it as is, but the second wanted massive changes to the point that it would not have been my book anymore. I couldn't go with the second when they told me I'd have to even change character names, so I declined any further work with them on the book and accepted the first offer.

I am pleased to announce that my first book, Master of OZ, will be published through Pink Flamingo Publications, one of the leading erotica publishers out there. They have been in the business for nearly 20 years and know their stuff. Master of OZ will be offered in print (softback) and ebook formats (for all digital readers), and I should have a hard release date in the next few weeks. It's looking like Master of OZ will be released sometime in June.

Now, I am pleased to provide all of you with the summary of Master of OZ and an excerpt for your reading pleasure. Also, if you would like to stay connected with me and follow all of my publishing and future writing updates, you can find me several ways. On Twitter I am SavannahJalayne. On Facebook you can friend my author page at facebook dot com / savannah dot Jalayne. You can also 'like' my author page at facebook dot com / savannahjalayneauthor. Just remove any necessary spaces and replace the dots with actual periods.

**Here are a few of the comments the prereaders sent back about Master of OZ:**

*HOLY SHIT BATMAN- the bathroom sex is...oh my god HOT!

*I love that you give just enough detail but don't waste space with filler.

*I love how he takes care of her right from the start.

*The story was sweet and hot all in one little package. :-)

*Like I said first off, I love it! Great great great...I want more...of course. :-D

**Here is the summary and a few teasers:**

**Summary:**

Dominance, submission, BDSM, and a tension-filled attraction so great that it cannot be fought by kindergarten teacher, Dorothy Gale, and local businessman and BDSM dungeon owner, Kingsley Ozburn has the two in a seductive dance filled with pleasure, pain, denial, and desire that explodes when the two cannot restrain their passion for one another.

When Dorothy Gale moves to Wichita, Kansas to begin her teaching career, she also embarks on an erotic journey she started in Kansas City, discovering her deepest desires, her wildest fantasies, and her most erotic dreams under the firm hand of local BDSM club owner, Kingsley Ozburn. Dorothy has only had minor BDSM experiences but identifies with her naturally submissive nature and tries to expand on her limited knowledge of the lifestyle by attending a local club. However, a bad experience nearly happens and is thwarted by Henry and Emily Lyman, a married couple into the D/s lifestyle. Henry and Emily bring Dorothy to OZ, local BDSM club and dungeon owned by Kingsley Ozburn, and her new life as a submissive begins. Through a series of unplanned punishments in OZ, submissive Dorothy Gale and owner of the club and Dominant Kingsley Ozburn find themselves constantly thrust together. Obviously attracted to one another, the pair tries to not act on their feelings but emotions win out and their resulting encounters are explosive. Can the two continue to fight their building desires for one another, or will passion win out and bring them together in fiery ways? Master of OZ will take you on a journey through the world of BDSM, submission, dominance, and the fight against desires of the mind, body and soul. Who will end up together and what will have to happen for happiness at the end? Read Master of OZ and discover the answers.

**Teasers:**

Teaser 1 - "Unbutton my jeans, pet," Kingsley commanded and Dorothy's eyelids grew heavy as her want for him increased.

He watched her shift her hips back and forth as if she was trying to get friction where she wanted it most. Kingsley would have none of that. His subs came by his work, his touch, and not by their own.

"No trying to get yourself off, pet. That's my job," Kingsley scolded her, and Dorothy pouted up at him, whimpering as she dropped her chin and looked up through her lashes. "Lovely," Kingsley whispered, looking down at Dorothy.

Teaser 2 - "I. Am. Not. Scared!" Kingsley shouted, emphasizing each word of his statement, and Dorothy quieted in front of him. "And you don't know the first thing about what I want or what I was feeling last night. That was just sex, plain and simple, nothing more, nothing less. You're being delusional if you think there was anything more than me fucking you like the little sub you are," Kingsley said, his voice dropping to a low, ominous tone at the end, and Dorothy gasped.

Teaser 3 - "That's a good girl," Master Kingsley purred in her ear, his deep gravelly voice making Dorothy even wetter, and fingers began probing at her pussy, discovering the wetness.

"Something tells me that my sweet pet is enjoying herself. Would you like more, pet? Would you like Your Lord and Sir Blaine to bring you to an orgasm so delicious that you won't know your own name afterward? Do you want the sensation orgasm, pet? Do you want to cum for Your Lord?" Master Kingsley asked, his voice reverberating deep in Dorothy's soul.

"Yes, My Lord," Dorothy moaned, her voice sounding off, distant, and not like her, but Dorothy was too needy for release that she couldn't bring herself to care.

"Sir Blaine, remove her blindfold, retrieve a crop for yourself, and a flogger for me, make sure your crop has a long enough handle to avoid my swing," Master Kingsley instructed but his body stayed close to Dorothy and she instinctively leaned into it. "Don't worry, pet, I'm going to make sure you cum hard and know who it's for. Who will your orgasm be for, sweet pet?" Master Kingsley asked lowly, his words whispered directly in her ear.

"For you, My Lord," Dorothy said breathlessly and she trembled when he laughed again in her ear.

Teaser 4 - "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" Kingsley asked, scaring her out of her thoughts.

"N…nothing," Dorothy lied and the look on Kingsley's face told her that he knew she was.

"Want to rethink that answer?" he asked as he began to disrobe and Dorothy's eyes widened as she took in his muscular frame that was being slowly revealed by his striptease.

"No?" Dorothy replied but it came out like a question.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, pet," Kingsley said and Dorothy's body tensed at the name he called her. "And it's My Lord, right now, pet."

"My Lord?"

"Don't speak, just feel. We still need to talk about earlier, but you need to relax and there is definitely one way for you to do that."

"H…how, My Lord?" Dorothy asked quietly, her voice nearly unheard over the showerheads and the heavy breaths she was taking.

"I said 'don't speak' and I'm going to fuck you. You need a good fucking, don't you?" Master Kingsley asked and Dorothy nodded, unwilling and unable to lie to him. "And I need one too. And I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, of trying to deny what my body wants from you, of refusing our bodies the pleasure we both know will happen. Are you ready for me to fuck you, pet?"

Teaser 5 - "Enjoying yourself, pet?" Master Kingsley asked Dorothy when she began to pant lightly under the still light swats from Henry.

"Yes, My Lord," Dorothy replied, her mouth dropping open immediately afterward in a silent moan as Henry struck her harder, the ends of the flogger hitting right between her legs.

"Interesting reaction, pet," Master Kingsley said, the corners of his eyes crinkling though his mouth remained stoic. "You know, many subs enjoy the feel of the flogger against their flesh, striking, teasing, enticing a reaction. It appears you enjoy it too. Your face is growing flushed, your pupils are dilating, your mouth is open as you pant, and your breasts are heaving deliciously with each short, quick breath you take. Do you think you would like to join this club, enter the training program, and see if there is more you enjoy? More you want? A deeper level of submission you can reach? I can sense your hesitation to submit already. There is something there, deep in you that desires to retain control, but your reactions are truly submissive, pet. You're enjoying this more than you'd ever allow yourself to admit, well right now that is. I think we can break that hold on control you have, what do you think? Do you want to try? Do you want to submit, Dorothy?" Master Kingsley spoke to her, his voice never changing in volume as he easily picked Dorothy apart.

She felt naked in front of him, all her secrets bared for him and anyone else watching, and the constant thud of the flogger against her flesh just heightened the nakedness she felt. But Master Kingsley was right, she wanted more, she wanted to learn, to experience, to delve deep into her desire to submit, but her unyielding hold on the control she maintained in her daily life was hard to let go.

"Yes," Dorothy whispered as the flogger intensified against her flesh, bringing her higher than before.

She felt something changing inside of her, something releasing as she became lost in Master Kingsley's gaze and the feel of Henry beating her deliciously. It was like someone was snipping her strings on control, taking it away from her little by little. Emily's voice in her ear was a quiet reassuring whisper that she wanted this, that it was perfectly normal. And Dorothy realized she really did want it, to give up control, to submit to her desires. She wanted to please, to receive loving pets and touches. To look into a pair of dominant eyes and see that she made them gleam with pride that she had submitted so perfectly. She wanted it all.

"Yes, what?" Master Kingsley asked, his voice echoing through the tunnel of sensation that had swallowed her.

"Yes, My Lord," Dorothy replied as the tunnel swallowed her vision as well and Master Kingsley was the only one she could see, could hear, could focus on.

Everything else disappeared as a delicious feeling began to rise in her, surging outward from her hot, tingling bottom, radiating through her body as it rocked with each swing of the flogger, each caress of the strands. She was flying, higher and higher, nearing something she wanted to desperately cling onto, and then it was gone, all of it was gone. The flogger didn't move against her, Emily's voice was gone, and Kingsley's gaze has changed, hardened before her, no longer delving into her soul as he picked her apart completely.

You all excited now? I am! LOL! I'll update the facebook pages and Twitter when I get a hard release date and will update here again. Thank you all for your support and I hope to have you as readers for my debut into the original fiction world. Oh, and my second book is being outlined right now. I'll update here again with the hard release date, but I wanted to let you all know that it's happening; I'm getting published with an original work of fiction!

And for those wondering, all my fanfiction stories will remain up unless the sites they are posted on remove them for some reason or another. I won't ever pull them to publish them so you will always have them here!


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